September 2015 Moms

Are doulas worth it?

this is my first pregnancy and I must say I am really frightened about getting a c-section... My hospital offers a certified doula to help with the whole birthing process and considering they can help reduce the rate of a c-section and use of an epidural I'm extremely interested as of now the cost is a little high.
Has anyone ever had a doula? Any feedback about them? Good or bad?

Re: Are doulas worth it?

  • YES! We joked our doula was our hired friend. She was amazing. I still ended up with a very rough delivery but she made it manageable and the best experience it could be given the circumstances.
    Me: 32, DH: 33
    DS #1: April 2010
    DS #2: July 2015 (preemie born at 31 weeks) - our little miracle conceived through ART - unexplained secondary infertility/adenomyosis
  • I'm a FTM and don't have first hand experience with it, but I've heard some very positive stories and everyone says it is well worth it. My best friend used a student doula who needed to get her hours in so it was free. I'm not going to use one, I have an awesome support team and I trust my doctor to get baby out safe without extra hired help, but that's just me. I say if you feel you need the extra support, go for it! Congrats on baby!
  • Loading the player...
  • Thank you both! :)
  • I'm pregnant with my third and did not have one for the first 2, nor will I this time. I do believe that they are very valuable, but since I am a nurse and was using midwives (and we really didn't have the money for one with our first) I chose to try without one. I was pretty happy with all that happened with my first birth and even more so with my second. The midwives treated me like a peer, so that made a big difference.
  • Yes!! Especially if you plan on having an unmedicated delivery. I used a doula with #1&2 and skipped it for #3 but will probably use one again for #4. She was so helpful not just for me, but also for my Dh. Even with a fantastic and supportive midwife their role and number one priority is your health and baby's health not necessarily labor support. My husband is AMAZING in labor (like our L&D nurses commented they had never seen a more involved and knowledgable dad during delivery and wished they all could be so prepared and supportive). Even with all that support the doula was just so amazing. She picked up in every need we had. For me, Dh is my support and the doula my coach.

    I majorly get in the zone while I labor and I very easily ignore my dh or refuse to listen to him but having the doula was different and for some reason I just followed her lead. I had a really long unmedicated difficult induction with my first and I absolutely couldn't have done it without my doula. As pp said, you can often find doulas who are working toward their certification and need to attend 3 births before being certified. They often provide their services for free. That's how it was with the doula during my first delivery. Also, many doulas are willing to work on a sliding scale and try and find something that will work for your budget. Even still- 100% worth the money. I've never met someone who had one and regretted it or didn't think it was worth the expense (even friends who have ended up with csections or epidurals).
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    I haven't personally used a doula but I strongly recommend them. Part of the reason I've never had one is because I didn't know about them until my fourth baby and by that time I kind of knew how my body responds in labor.

    However I WISH I had one with my fifth baby. I really couldn't get on top of the contractions. I feel a trained doula would have had some tricks to ease it. Just knowing a certain position or massage technique might have made a big difference makes me regret not having a doula present.

    I wish I had heard of a doula as a FTM. I didn't end up with a cesarean but I was so young and so afraid and voiceless in my first two births. A lot of things happened that I might have otherwise said NO to if I had a knowledgeable ambassador on my side who was working for me, encouraging me and reassuring me.

    Yes, do hire one. Women with doulas have a much greater chance of avoiding cesarean. Congrats on baby!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • For ladies concerned about the cost, I found several in my area (south of Boston) who charge VERY reasonable prices. I didn't expect to see anything under like $900 and there were several, some as low as $150! People need to get experience somehow and I definitely wouldn't mind paying that because it seems worth it...
  • I'm not into it because I'm not into people in general hanging around unless I know them well. I can't be bothered, and would feel like I need to entertain them or chit chat. For the women who are into that sort of thing I have heard wonderful stories about doulas.
    BabyFruit Ticker



  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    bpv101283 said:

    I'm not into it because I'm not into people in general hanging around unless I know them well. I can't be bothered, and would feel like I need to entertain them or chit chat. For the women who are into that sort of thing I have heard wonderful stories about doulas.

    Doulas aren't trained to be entertained or to be your friend. You get to know one another before birth, of course. Whereas you will have random nurses and maybe even a random OB on-call when you're in labor. At least your doula is someone who knows explicitly what you like and don't like and is there specifically to help you succeed and offer reassurance.

    This is probably the #1 reason couples may choose to not hire a doula so I wanted to explain why they're different from the other people in your labor room. You don't just hire a random doula. You most definitely get to know her before the birth just as you would your OB or midwife. They bring their own birth bag with snacks and other things. You are hiring them for a service and don't need to worry about her and how she feels or if she's bored. Her focus is on you and your SO's comfort and she WANTS to do that.

    A friend of mine is a CAPPA doula and childbirth educator, LC and is on their board of directors. I have wanted to become a doula but haven't because I have so many littles so take care of during this stage in my life. But I've read a lot of their materials and lectures for doulas.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • hamiltks10hamiltks10 member
    edited March 2015
    This is my third pregnancy.  I hired a doula for my first...and it was well worth it.  And actually....she only made it to the hospital in time to hold a leg for me.  I found her value (for me) to be in the knowledge and confidence she gave me leading up to the birth.  With her help, I was able to go into labor feeling 100% confident in my body's ability to labor and deliver a healthy baby without pain meds and unnecessary interventions.  

    Because I was able to labor at home with just my husband (got to the hospital at 9cm and had the baby within 30 minutes of arriving).I didn't feel I had a need to hire her for my second. I had an equally enjoyable labor and delivery the second time around as well.

    Honestly...I think a HUGE part of being able to have a med-free and low/no intervention birth is knowledge and confidence.  If you know what will and can happen during labor/delivery and you are completely confident in your body to do what it needs to do.....and confident in YOURSELF and the decisions you will be making, you will be just fine.  Understand that there will be pain/discomfort....but that it is a normal part of the process and that you can handle it.  Don't panic, stay calm and relaxed.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    image    image



    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm hiring one to help us through our first birth. We plan to go all natural and so having one is crucial for us! If I were planning on medicating I wouldn't be quite as concerned but I think it sets the tone, provides so much knowledge, and they can step in for hubby with relaxation and pain management! They also help with breastfeeding
  • I interviewed a doula and we hit it off. We talked about my previos labor and delivery about how none of it was what I wanted. That time I wanted a drug free non induction labor. I woke up on my due date and had a scheduled doctor appointment that morning. She called to check on me and could tell by talking to me I was in labor but I was in denial about it. She told me to head to the hospital and call if I needed her and she could be there in 20 minutes. Turns out I didn't need her because I had an awesome nurse and between the nurse, my mom, DF, and the doctor knowing my wishes I was able to have my labor and delivery I wanted. This time I will have her on standby just in case. She called once during my labor to check and see if I was handling it which I was and we decided she didn't need to come. She called afterwards to see how it went and was so happy for me that I got the labor I wanted.

    They are there to be your support system. They know your desires and wishes. Sometimes your partner will forget things you have told them and the doula can explain situations that you might not understand. They can suggest different positions to help ease pain.


    If you can afford it I would recommend hiring a doula. Some programs have a free doula service too for lower income families. They are your liaison between you and the hospital staff.
  • bpv101283bpv101283 member
    edited March 2015
    WDDCH said:

    bpv101283 said:

    I'm not into it because I'm not into people in general hanging around unless I know them well. I can't be bothered, and would feel like I need to entertain them or chit chat. For the women who are into that sort of thing I have heard wonderful stories about doulas.

    Doulas aren't trained to be entertained or to be your friend. You get to know one another before birth, of course. Whereas you will have random nurses and maybe even a random OB on-call when you're in labor. At least your doula is someone who knows explicitly what you like and don't like and is there specifically to help you succeed and offer reassurance.

    This is probably the #1 reason couples may choose to not hire a doula so I wanted to explain why they're different from the other people in your labor room. You don't just hire a random doula. You most definitely get to know her before the birth just as you would your OB or midwife. They bring their own birth bag with snacks and other things. You are hiring them for a service and don't need to worry about her and how she feels or if she's bored. Her focus is on you and your SO's comfort and she WANTS to do that.

    A friend of mine is a CAPPA doula and childbirth educator, LC and is on their board of directors. I have wanted to become a doula but haven't because I have so many littles so take care of during this stage in my life. But I've read a lot of their materials and lectures for doulas.
    No, this is exactly why *I* don't want a doula, because I would feel the need to entertain and chit chat. And I didn't have rando nurses and ob's coming and going last time. That's the thing about opinions, it's mine regarding doulas because I am an introvert and don't want to hang out with someone through labor that I don't know. Whether or not they are trained to hang out with me and be my advocate. I just liked being with my husband. My mom was in awhile and that I was ok with me.

    Edit to add that I liked not knowing the nurses and they were sweet. My labor was 8 hours start to finish so I didn't have a nursing change.
    BabyFruit Ticker



  • I wish I'd had a doula with my first but I didn't know about them. Now I am one :) I definitely think they're worth it for FTMs, if you have the money. But if you don't, or can't justify spending that much, there are a few things I'd recommend:
    Taking a childbirth ed course. Some insurances cover this (actually some cover doulas too)
    Reading! I think everyone should read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. The Birth Partner is a great read too. You can go on DONA or any other doula training organization's website and check out their list of recommended reading.
    You could even take the doula training--it's usually cheaper than hiring your own. And then you have all the knowledge!
  • As personal preference, I have to agree with @bpv101283 The doula just isn't for me because I am stubborn and introverted and like to do stuff on my own haha. I will have my husband, my MIL, my best friend, all the nurses, and then my doctor there to deliver. I personally don't want any extra assistance, and I don't want another person there that I have to talk to. I realize that they're a huge help to most FTM and I think it's a great investment if you want that extra support.

    Thanks for the reading suggestions @kehags Even though I feel confident and capable as a first time mom, I will read the book you recommended on child birth and I'll definitely take a class or two, just to make sure I've got the bases covered and prepare for those "what ifs". We got this!!
  • Kinda old school, but I feel like my mom essentially is going to be my "doula." After 4 kids of her own plus being there for her sisters' and many friend's births I feel pretty confident that she can give me some great pointers. Between her, my SO and my bestie I think I'm going to have more support than I know what to do with!
    image
  • My insurance doesn't cover midwives or Douglas but I am very interested in getting one if I can figure out how not to pay a million dollars. It's my first, and I know I want an unmedicated and no/low intervention birth. My DH will be great with me but I know he won't be much help in the labor/hospital know-how department. So I want someone who can help me communicate what I want and support me in labor. Would be just DH and I otherwise and it makes me nervous to do it alone. I'd definitely do some research, maybe look into hypnobirthing and doula classes, and read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. What you want and need will most likely become clear to you the more you know!
  • I plan to get a doula this time. It's someone to advocate for you, that you get to know in advance. I think it's especially important in a hospital setting where you can't choose your nurse (and sometimes not even the OB). With #1 hubby kinda froze, and my mom hadn't flown in yet (I went 8 days early). I needed someone to suggest things I could do, to reassure me, and to follow my plan. Doulas here are $300-900 and I think it's worth it.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"