September 2015 Moms

Best friend is a blabber mouth

So my best friend of 15 years is a blabber mouth. When I told her about my infertility problems, she told one of our mutual guy friends all about it. That was personal and NOT something I wanted shared with him. Who knows who else she told. Anyway, that is just one of many examples of how she can't keep anything to herself.

Now I am pregnant, almost 11 weeks and due at the end of September. I should be excited to tell her, but I feel like she will tell everyone and I'm dreading it. So far she is on her way to becoming the last to find out. My DH thinks I should let her find out on facebook, but I know she she would be upset. Oh and she always says kind of snarky and rude things and I worry about what she will say when I tell her. I know, she's probably not the best friend a girl could have, but that's a whole separate issue.

Does anyone know how or when I should tell her? We are probably going to announce to the rest of our friends and family soon with a Facebook announcement by week 13 or 14.
Me: 28 DH: 29
TTC since July 2013
September 2013 period still hasn't started since getting off BC
October 2013 OBGYN prescribed 4 months of unmonitored Clomid
3 Months of Clomid, ovulated once
Opted to not do 4th cycle without proper testing found new OBGYN
January 2014 new OBGYN diagnosed me with PCOS ordered ultrasound
January 2014 Ultrasound found possible uterine septum
February 2014 MRI confirmed uterine septum, referral to RE
March 2014 RE scheduled septum removal for late June
Benched due to possible miscarriages if falling pregnant, back on BC
June 2014 Septum Removal surgery, hysteroscopy/laparascopy
Laparascopy revealed mild endometriosis
Benched until September 2014 for recovery and healing
October 2014 - First letrozole, HCG trigger, TI cycle, 18mm follie
November 2014 - BFP - loss at 6 weeks
January 2015 - Green light to try again 18mm follie, letrozole, HCG trigger 
January 2015 - BFP - two ultrasounds and strong heartbeat found on Doppler!!!


Re: Best friend is a blabber mouth

  • If you value a future friendship with her dont let her find out on fb, i agree to tell her right before you post it on fb that way she feels happy to have known before all of fb. And tell her you have been keeping it on the down low because of the infertility and if it didnt work out you didnt want to make a bother or big deal of it to anyone.. i know it's dumb to put it that way but i have a friend who is like yours to and if may keep her snark down .
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  • kjs08kjs08 member
    I'm with PP: tell her right before you post on FB. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I used to have a few friends like that, and I let them go.....and I've never been better!! she can find out on Facebook, she's not your sister or anything.
  • Meh, let her find out on Facebook if she's not going to contribute positively w/ advance notice.  It might end your friendship but your friendship doesn't sound like it's going to weather the changes that are coming up in your life, anyway, you know?  A lot of things change when you have kids, even who your best friends are.  It shouldn't have to be that way but it often is.  Good luck.
    Laura, mom of:
    James (14)
    William (13)
    Elise (11)
    Zachary (5)
    George (3)

    www.letterstoauntkay.com [making the blog private.  PM me if you want to subscribe]
  • I agree - tell her RIGHT before you post!
  • This might be a good time to let her know how you feel, so that her behavior doesn't continue throughout your pregnancy. I agree that you should tell her before posting it on FB because it is obvious that you care about her feelings. But include the fact that you were hesitant to tell her because she can't keep things private and you don't want your personal news spread around to people unnecessarily. Tell her if she wants to be a part of this baby joy that she'll need to keep things between the two of you and if she can't handle that, tell her she'll be finding out news from FB in the future. Good luck!!
  • My best friend was with me when I took the test. Her bf is the one to blame for this one - we were texting and he's crazy obsessive so he went through her phone and decided it was his buisness to spread. Everybody knew the next day, love living in a small town :)
  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    Friend or not I wouldn't tell someone that I don't trust. I'd post it and let her find out that way. If she's offended then you can tell her she can't be trusted with personal information anymore. If someone breaks my trust then I simply don't tell them private info anymore.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Thank you for all of your advice! I think I will tell her right before I post anything. Like literally I will have it ready on my screen, call her, then click post! We had a loss last fall and I never told her about that either. I felt she would most likely bring it up out of the blue and stir up all the hurt and sadness involved with it. Or...tell someone I didn't want to know or even be a know it all when she knows nothing about what we went through. If you lose my trust you can't be in the loop!!! I really appreciate your words of wisdom. I'm slowly going to start distancing myself from her as I've been in denial about how toxic our friendship really is.
    Me: 28 DH: 29
    TTC since July 2013
    September 2013 period still hasn't started since getting off BC
    October 2013 OBGYN prescribed 4 months of unmonitored Clomid
    3 Months of Clomid, ovulated once
    Opted to not do 4th cycle without proper testing found new OBGYN
    January 2014 new OBGYN diagnosed me with PCOS ordered ultrasound
    January 2014 Ultrasound found possible uterine septum
    February 2014 MRI confirmed uterine septum, referral to RE
    March 2014 RE scheduled septum removal for late June
    Benched due to possible miscarriages if falling pregnant, back on BC
    June 2014 Septum Removal surgery, hysteroscopy/laparascopy
    Laparascopy revealed mild endometriosis
    Benched until September 2014 for recovery and healing
    October 2014 - First letrozole, HCG trigger, TI cycle, 18mm follie
    November 2014 - BFP - loss at 6 weeks
    January 2015 - Green light to try again 18mm follie, letrozole, HCG trigger 
    January 2015 - BFP - two ultrasounds and strong heartbeat found on Doppler!!!


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