September 2015 Moms

Single mom problems? Advice appreciated!

Boyfriend of 4 years hasn't told his parents yet that we are pregnant ( only a few friends) and im almost at 12 weeks, do I have the right to be angry and upset? He says he's excited/happy but scared to dissapoint his parents , but the longer he waits the worse it will be. I've tried suggesting we do it together but he says I am manipulating him. He also broke his promise of telling them at 7 weeks. Ugh idk how I should feel, ladies I need your advice!

Re: Single mom problems? Advice appreciated!

  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    When I got pregnant at 19 we told his parents together. If you are in it together and responsible and raising this child then it seems like the normal thing to do is to tell them together. Don't see how that is you manipulating anything. I think he's terrified of his parents' reactions and maybe stalling?

    I'd talk to him again. No threats, no nagging. Just ask when a good time would be for you guys to tell them. If he blows up or freaks just calmly tell him you're in this together and you'll be there for him, at his side.

    If you don't feel he's going to step up I'm at a loss as to what to do. I think eventually I'd call and tell them they're going to be grandparents. I'd want to know if I had a grandbaby so I assume they might want to know as well and be in baby's life.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • My boyfriend still hasnt told the majority of his family. Im almost 11 weeks. His sister is supposed to be moving here within the next month and Im supposed to meet her and her family... PREGNANT! I mean he has his reasons but I have come to a point where I find it ridiculous. It upsets me quite a bit when I think about it also. So I know how you feel. But at the end of the day as long as everyone you feel deserves to know on your side it should make you feel a little more at ease. Because you are not in a relationship with his family its just you and him and when he finally does tell them (which he will have to eventually) it will be more on his part than yours. So cheer up! youre having a beautiful baby. Soon enough rather he likes it or not they will know :)
  • Thanks ladies. Im so happy everyone in this group is so supportive and positive.
  • I don't think you're manipulating him at all. I'd go together and be a united front. I was terrified to tell my parents with my first, and made my BF (now husband) come with me. It softened the blow, it's harder for them to get mad with non-family around ;) Seriously though, it was fine. Maybe they will surprise him & be positive. I hope he wises up soon!
  • My fiancee had taken longer to tell his family than I had taken to tell mine. I knew he was embarrassed because he hadn't married me prior to me getting pregnant and we are 38 and 40 and each have two kids from our first marraiges. His stalling doesn't prevent him from coming to appointments and stepping up as a father and a man. I say assess his overall actions not just this one, I am 11.5 weeks and not all of his family knows...
  • kjs08kjs08 member
    What's his reasoning behind not telling them and why would he think they'd be disappointed in him? If he thinks they'll be disappointed with you being pregnant, he may not be feeling proud of the fact that he's going to be a dad, he's scared, or you're not married as a few possibilities. He can't keep it quiet forever as baby will come and you will start to show. Why does he think you're manipulating him? It sounds like you're trying to support him, but you need to talk to him to find out why he's feeling this way. If he won't tell them, are you close enough with his parents to approach them to tell them yourself? If so, would they be able to wait to say anything till he mentions it first? 

    I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this, but you really need to find out where he's coming from with all your concerns. The last thing his parents would want is to hear it through the grapevine instead of from their son. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'm 14 weeks and my boyfriend didn't tell his family until after my 12 week appointment... So I completely understand. My guy was afraid to tell his parted because we're not married yet. Maybe he was just scared?
  • My Hubby had a hard time accepting this pregnancy and it's our 3rd! (His 4th) lol I'm 13 weeks and he just told his family. You just need to stop bugging him and he'll get there in his own time. Try to respect his feelings, he may not be the one carrying the baby, but that doesn't mean it's not a big change for him too.
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