Birthmother, AMA

NEAM2014

Hi, I'm Courtney. At 18 I got pregnant and placed my son for adoption. I first contacted a national agency but didn't like they way they treated me and ended up finding a local one and picking the adoptive family when I was around 4 months along.

That was 8+ years ago. I am now happily married and TTC but was diagnosed with PCOS a year after I gave birth. 

I'm here if case there was anything you wanted to know from a Birthmother. I obviously don't know all the ins and outs of adoption but I do know the side of the story that isn't often talked about. So ask me anything. 

WannaBmomma

Welcome! I am glad to see you with us. The gift you have years ago was an amazing thing. No greater love. I pray you have luck conceiving again. Are you doing fertility treatments? My cousin did iui and got pregnant.

TheMrsWithTheMostess

Thank you so much for coming on here and opening yourself up! My name is Courtney too! I met a 19 year old mother wanting to bless a family with adoption and she chose my husband & i! She tells me everyday how SURE she is....and I don't know if that's for my benefit or hers, probably both. My question is, how SURE we're you? DI'd you struggle up until delivery or even AT delivery?

NotISaidtheCat

TheMrsWithTheMostess said:

Thank you so much for coming on here and opening yourself up! My name is Courtney too! I met a 19 year old mother wanting to bless a family with adoption and she chose my husband & i! She tells me everyday how SURE she is....and I don't know if that's for my benefit or hers, probably both. My question is, how SURE we're you? DI'd you struggle up until delivery or even AT delivery?

I can't speak for everyone, but I also gave up a son. I was pressured into it, however, and truly did not want to do it or feel that it was right to do so. I did talk with the parents quite frequently and try to reassure both them and myself, but if I had felt safe standing up for myself and being honest it never would have happened. I ended up saying no after delivering, but my family broke me down the first week and forced me back into it. They have him now and they are wonderful parents, but I regret losing him every day.

I would encourage you to let her know she is safe and that you respect her and also let her know your fears. Honest communication will save both parties a lot of heartache. I promise she doesn't want to break your heart. Just keep praying for guidance and trust that things will work out. I'll definitely be praying that your situation ends much better for everyone than mine.