1st Trimester
Options

Running out of excuses...

Hey all, I'm new to the forums and really excited!
Kind of a funny social question... So I'm 7 weeks pregnant and still have to wait until I can tell people. Meanwhile, I have been asked to go out to happy hour 3 times this week and I have a few more evenings out coming up. I am running out of excuses not to drink... What do you suggest? Anybody in a similar situation? Thanks!
Pregnancy Ticker


Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
«1

Re: Running out of excuses...

  • Options
    Tell them you and your husband have plans, you're not feeling well, or you need to catch up on housework!
  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    I never understand these posts.  Just say you don't want to go.  Why?  Because I don't want to. Done and done.  
  • Options
    You could say you're having a month off drinking for a detox.
  • Options
    Tell them you and your husband have plans, you're not feeling well, or you need to catch up on housework!
    This. Or...just say no. You don't feel like drinking. You should not need an excuse not to drink.
    This is such a good response. NOT. Actually it's quite snarky. 

    When you are a social drinker with certain friends and always have a glass of wine and all the sudden don't of course they are going to ask. 

    I second the diet comment. Works like a charm. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    ipumpkinipumpkin member
    edited February 2015


    KWood2011 said:



    kacdanz said:

    Tell them you and your husband have plans, you're not feeling well, or you need to catch up on housework!

    This. Or...just say no. You don't feel like drinking. You should not need an excuse not to drink.

    This is such a good response. NOT. Actually it's quite snarky. 

    When you are a social drinker with certain friends and always have a glass of wine and all the sudden don't of course they are going to ask. 

    I second the diet comment. Works like a charm. 

    There was nothing snarky about the response.  It was honest.  Who are you to judge what's a good response or isn't.  Newly appointed post police?  FFS.





    Coming from a similar situation, it's just the nature of people to ask. Curiosity gets the best of people sometimes and It doesn't mean they're bad people or anything. drinking is just something of a routine with different social groups. When someone suddenly stops something they're been doing for so long, people are going to ask, no matter what it is said person is stopping. OP, I feel your pain - go with the diet thing. Unless your skinny as a rail. Then try something else lol.
  • Options
    I am having this same problem but I still want to go out! I don't want to tell my friends no because I actually want to go and see them, just not drink with them. So I'm going to try the not drinking for health line (which is technically true!) and if that runs out, "i'm on antibiotics for a UTI" or "not going to risk drinking and driving today." I have to stick with one though, because too many excuses will definitely look fishy! Haha. Good luck!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Options
    jenybatsjenybats member
    edited February 2015

    I had this problem too! Anybody who "doesn't understand these types of posts" obviously has no problem being thought rude - and that's fine, to each his own.

    But for MOST of us, this is an inevitable issue while we are trying to keep it a secret. I used all the tricks until I finally ran out of excuses. It was not like me to go out for girls night each week and not order a drink. (One time I said I had taken a migraine pill, another time I said I was feeling queasy). It was not like me to be the "DD" every time me and my SO got together with friends.

    One time I even mixed drinks using "water" instead of vodka for a whole evening, and then was questioned why I was driving home later!! There are so many things you don't think of, that seem easy to take care of with a simple "no thanks" but it really isn't that easy at all!!! LOL.

    I finally confessed to all the girls at 8 weeks at girls night - I just couldn't think of anymore excuses and I knew that they wouldn't buy them anyways. 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


  • Options
    jenybats said:

    I had this problem too! Anybody who "doesn't understand these types of posts" obviously has no problem being thought rude - and that's fine, to each his own.

    But for MOST of us, this is an inevitable issue while we are trying to keep it a secret. I used all the tricks until I finally ran out of excuses. It was not like me to go out for girls night each week and not order a drink. (One time I said I had taken a migraine pill, another time I said I was feeling queasy). It was not like me to be the "DD" every time me and my SO got together with friends.

    One time I even mixed drinks using "water" instead of vodka for a whole evening, and then was questioned why I was driving home later!! There are so many things you don't think of, that seem easy to take care of with a simple "no thanks" but it really isn't that easy at all!!! LOL.

    I finally confessed to all the girls at 8 weeks at girls night - I just couldn't think of anymore excuses and I knew that they wouldn't buy them anyways. 

    LOL OK.  Because me not thinking I owe my friends detailed thought out in advance "excuses" for not drinking alcohol is hella rude.  I just go up to the bar and order a "drink".  If the waitress came to the table and I didn't have a drink I just said I hadn't decided what I wanted yet.  Jesus.  
  • Options
    I'm 5 weeks and I have said I've given up drinking for Lent (which is not necessarily false).  Once Easter rolls around I'm just going to to say it felt so good to detox I'm going to keep it up. 
    The Purdys Columbus, Ohio
  • Options
    jenybats said:

    I had this problem too! Anybody who "doesn't understand these types of posts" obviously has no problem being thought rude - and that's fine, to each his own.

    But for MOST of us, this is an inevitable issue while we are trying to keep it a secret. I used all the tricks until I finally ran out of excuses. It was not like me to go out for girls night each week and not order a drink. (One time I said I had taken a migraine pill, another time I said I was feeling queasy). It was not like me to be the "DD" every time me and my SO got together with friends.

    One time I even mixed drinks using "water" instead of vodka for a whole evening, and then was questioned why I was driving home later!! There are so many things you don't think of, that seem easy to take care of with a simple "no thanks" but it really isn't that easy at all!!! LOL.

    I finally confessed to all the girls at 8 weeks at girls night - I just couldn't think of anymore excuses and I knew that they wouldn't buy them anyways. 

    LOL OK.  Because me not thinking I owe my friends detailed thought out in advance "excuses" for not drinking alcohol is hella rude.  I just go up to the bar and order a "drink".  If the waitress came to the table and I didn't have a drink I just said I hadn't decided what I wanted yet.  Jesus.  

    @allrightmeow

    I didn't say HELLA RUDE. You need to relax lol. On the defense much? I am speaking in general. Not EVERYONE can use your method!! It's not that simple to just say you aren't drinking and have nobody question it. Especially when it comes to a tight knit group of friends. For me to just tell my friends "no, I am not drinking" and think they don't deserve an explanation is rude. Maybe for you, it's not. That's why I said it might be THOUGHT RUDE.

    I am sorry that nobody thought your answer was helpful lol.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


  • Options
    jenybats said:
    jenybats said:

    I had this problem too! Anybody who "doesn't understand these types of posts" obviously has no problem being thought rude - and that's fine, to each his own.

    But for MOST of us, this is an inevitable issue while we are trying to keep it a secret. I used all the tricks until I finally ran out of excuses. It was not like me to go out for girls night each week and not order a drink. (One time I said I had taken a migraine pill, another time I said I was feeling queasy). It was not like me to be the "DD" every time me and my SO got together with friends.

    One time I even mixed drinks using "water" instead of vodka for a whole evening, and then was questioned why I was driving home later!! There are so many things you don't think of, that seem easy to take care of with a simple "no thanks" but it really isn't that easy at all!!! LOL.

    I finally confessed to all the girls at 8 weeks at girls night - I just couldn't think of anymore excuses and I knew that they wouldn't buy them anyways. 

    LOL OK.  Because me not thinking I owe my friends detailed thought out in advance "excuses" for not drinking alcohol is hella rude.  I just go up to the bar and order a "drink".  If the waitress came to the table and I didn't have a drink I just said I hadn't decided what I wanted yet.  Jesus.  

    @allrightmeow

    I didn't say HELLA RUDE. You need to relax lol. On the defense much? I am speaking in general. Not EVERYONE can use your method!! It's not that simple to just say you aren't drinking and have nobody question it. Especially when it comes to a tight knit group of friends. For me to just tell my friends "no, I am not drinking" and think they don't deserve an explanation is rude. Maybe for you, it's not. That's why I said it might be THOUGHT RUDE.

    I am sorry that nobody thought your answer was helpful lol.

    LOL you are delightful.  You quoted me and I responded.  I can tell without checking that you are new.  Elle oh elle.  For one to be thought sorry, THOUGHT rude one must be doing something rude.  That, or either the person doing the thinking is an idiot.  No one in their right mind would or should consider anyone rude for not supplying them with a convoluted reason as to why they chose not to do something like drink.  In my circle who don't need to validate anything to each other because friends.  



  • Options
    @allrightmeow Oh no I'm newwwwwww?!   I've never been pregnant before. That makes you like, sooo much cooler and wiser than me.  
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


  • Options
    jenybats said:
    @allrightmeow Oh no I'm newwwwwww?!   I've never been pregnant before. That makes you like, sooo much cooler and wiser than me.  
    BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @jenybats I meant new to this site.  Oh brother.  
  • Options
    Calm down every one please. Leave the post to answer the question, not fight. It's a valid question from @plumpous‌ and I for one have the same question! Now, let's get back to the support please!
  • Options
    jenybats said:


    @allrightmeow

    I didn't say HELLA RUDE. You need to relax lol. On the defense much? I am speaking in general. Not EVERYONE can use your method!! It's not that simple to just say you aren't drinking and have nobody question it. Especially when it comes to a tight knit group of friends. For me to just tell my friends "no, I am not drinking" and think they don't deserve an explanation is rude. Maybe for you, it's not. That's why I said it might be THOUGHT RUDE.

    I am sorry that nobody thought your answer was helpful lol.

    I personally always find @allrightmeow‌ to have very helpful answers and actually find you to be quite rude.
    Also lol at your confusion about being new to the site and new to pregnancy. Thick skulls man
  • Options
    Perrista said:
    Calm down every one please. Leave the post to answer the question, not fight. It's a valid question from @plumpous‌ and I for one have the same question! Now, let's get back to the support please!
    And the unnecessary WKing begins now....... 

    image
  • Options
    edited February 2015
    You gave up alcohol for Lent! That'll buy you 5 more weeks:)


    image
    image

    No periods due to 17 years of ballet and distance running after college.  Zero response to 2 months of Clomid, little response to Letrozole.  IUI left with 9 cysts = too many viable eggs due to age.  On to IVF.  Low dose of all meds still produced 37 mature eggs 12.6.11.  Froze due to overstimulation.  

    FET #1.1 1.22.12 BFN.   FET #1.2 2.22.12=GRACE! (and a vanishing twin).  

    Grace Katherine born 10.25.12 @ 36w6w 6#14oz 19.5".
    FET #1.3 3.2013 BFN FET#1.4 4.2013 BFN. Never tried a fresh transfer.  Let's try, despite 10 still frozen.  
    ER 6.26.13 27 mature eggs, slight overstim. ET   7.1.13 ectopic, FET 2.1  9.10.14   TRIPLETS!!  

    Boys born 3.18.14 @ 29w5d.  Andrew Jack 3#6oz 16", Grant Robert 3#9oz 16", Charles Phillip 3#7oz 17".


  • Options
    Giving it up for lent!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    Hm. I don't drink really so this has never been an issue. Maybe some sake once in awhile, but not as a social thing.

    However, I think the suggestions to either politely say you don't want/cant drink are good, give an excuse only if they ask. I would not avoid the interaction with your friends altogether as it may seem to them like you are upset with them or angry with them if it seems you are avoiding them. But, depends on your crowd of friends.

    Excuses:
    On antibiotics
    Have a headache
    Don't feel like any alcohol
    Feeling queasy
    Have to be up early the next day and don't want to risk a hangover
    Given up for lent
    Feel like you may be coming down with a cold and don't want to feel worse
  • Options
    Yeah. My friends and family know me too well. They know there's no way I'm not having a drink unless I'm pregnant. I tried to fake it for a while and order soda water with lime but everyone pretty much called me out. I'm a very predictable wine drinker. So I just either made excuses to not go, or if I got questioned when I ordered a non-alcoholic drink said "yeah. I am pregnant. Thanks for outing me."
  • Options
    I have the same issue! Every Friday night my SIL (who lives down the street) has a get together with snacks, pizza, wine, etc. It is usually most of my BF's family (they all live in close proximity) and a few close friends. It's been 2 Fridays now that I've known I'm pregnant and haven't been drinking. So many questions as to why am I not drinking!! I may skip this Friday night, but I can't skip them all until I want to tell them (about mid-March). Thinking about going with the diet excuse.
  • Options
    I have the same issue! Every Friday night my SIL (who lives down the street) has a get together with snacks, pizza, wine, etc. It is usually most of my BF's family (they all live in close proximity) and a few close friends. It's been 2 Fridays now that I've known I'm pregnant and haven't been drinking. So many questions as to why am I not drinking!! I may skip this Friday night, but I can't skip them all until I want to tell them (about mid-March). Thinking about going with the diet excuse.
    And I think that's so shitty. You have all my sorrys.  Surely people have something else they could be talking about.  I feel like after a certain point it's just prying and they know exactly what they are doing.  Id be beyond annoyed.  
  • Options
    If you're somewhere with a bar that you'd walk up to (as opposed to ordering from a server in front of the whole group), get ginger ale, a splash of cranberry juice with a lime.  Looks like a vodka cranberry, tastes yummy and helps you avoid questions.
    Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • Options
    @ipumpkin - we have a good one. *sits back and swirles mock-tini*

    allrightmeow said before, you don't owe anyone a detailed explaination as to why you aren't drinking. It's a perfectly normal social habit to start/stop at any point in your life for oh-so-many reasons. And speaking of mock-tini's, when you place your order (hopefully before) find a way to tell the waitress or bartender that you are going "unleaded" for the evening and skip the excuses altogether. Best of luck! =D
    1/19/15 - Officially Team Blue! 
    image
    "Victory is paid for in sweat, courage, and preparation!"
    image
  • Options
    Oh yes. I've been sipping my virgin daiquiris. They're just as good. Whatev. And, so what if I go to the bar and order pineapple juice on the rocks. LOL.
  • Options
    Yep, my drink of choice is a vodka, cranberry, and pineapple...sometimes with sprite. These days...it's just juice and just as good. =D
    1/19/15 - Officially Team Blue! 
    image
    "Victory is paid for in sweat, courage, and preparation!"
    image
  • Options


    jenybats said:

    @allrightmeow Oh no I'm newwwwwww?!   I've never been pregnant before. That makes you like, sooo much cooler and wiser than me.  

    BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @jenybats I meant new to this site.  Oh brother.  



    I know what you meant, I'm saying I'm obviously new to the site because it's my first child.

    Look, it's clear by your pose and your crappy answer to the question that you lack a real social life and you thrive on your Bump popularity - so i'll let you have it.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


  • Options
    This was a good question to post.  I am 6 weeks pregnant and I have so many upcoming events that sadly revolve around adult beverages. Such as my own bachelorette party!!!!  I have been planning my wedding since last April and have succeeded in our birth control method....until I found out last week that I'm pregnant.  I do not plan on telling our friends and family until after the wedding (which is in 6 weeks).  So in the meantime, such events as mentioned have got me thinking how I can pull off keeping such a huge secret.  Who doesnt drink at their own bachelorette party??  I won't obviously, but I'm not quite sure how to not look suspicious.  Also, our wedding is open bar....I'm thinking about this "moc-tail" someone else mentioned.  That may just work...
  • Options
    allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    edited February 2015
    jenybats said:


    jenybats said:

    @allrightmeow Oh no I'm newwwwwww?!   I've never been pregnant before. That makes you like, sooo much cooler and wiser than me.  

    BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @jenybats I meant new to this site.  Oh brother.  



    I know what you meant, I'm saying I'm obviously new to the site because it's my first child.

    Look, it's clear by your pose and your crappy answer to the question that you lack a real social life and you thrive on your Bump popularity - so i'll let you have it.

    @jenybots Shouldn't you be off somewhere explaining all your life choices to your friends in full detail?  Bye now.  

    My God the butthurt is so real. 
  • Options
    Get there early, tell the bartender your situation and then just order something that can still be good as a virgin drink. Like a "gin" and tonic or something.
  • Options
    Everyone has thier opinions and this is what this is for. There is no need to be mean here.... She asked for help and thats what she should get. If she doesnt feel like being strait mean and just saying NO, well then she shoildnt have to... We shoild help each other not try to put people down with treating them luke that... I think she did good by asking. NEVER BE AFRAID TO ASK.....
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"