How much time is DH taking? — The Bump
May 2015 Moms

How much time is DH taking?

ginger819ginger819 member
edited February 2015 in May 2015 Moms
We have decided to each take six weeks. I was originally going to take a full 12 weeks and him take the couple of weeks of vacation time and another week or two in unpaid leave, but I have a very big and crucial promotion coming available within a year or so and really wanted to get back to pushing for it (it would take us from scraping by paycheck to paycheck to having extra to put away for savings and be comfortable knowing we could pay all of our bills every month without tapping into our savings). So I've decided to go back as soon as I'm cleared to. This gave us extra funds so my DH could stay home with me. He works for a large company and has worked there for almost three years. He tried to put in his request for leave and they told him he could only take two weeks. It clearly says in their handbook that he gets up to 12 weeks leave for the birth of a child. They've apparently been telling the dads they get the two weeks, but moms have been getting their full leave. Then they made him fill out a leave of absence paper for two weeks. He should be covered under FMLA and they're just playing hardball with him. Anyone else running into this?

Meanwhile my job which is way smaller and I'm a large component of their team are excited for me and wouldn't bat an eye at me taking 12 weeks.

Re: How much time is DH taking?

  • My husband gets 10 days after the baby is born. And as for your company not questioning 12 weeks vs his company saying only 2 weeks. That's probably because he's the father, paternity leave isn't the same. Everyone expects the mom to need time after the baby, dad not so much. My husband gets 10 days but a new mother would get 12 weeks where he works.
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  • My husband gets 5 days FMLA and then he is taking an additional week of vacation after baby is born. We are also taking a week vacation in August as we haven't been on one since our honeymoon, 3 years ago. I'm a teacher and with baby due at the beginning of May, I will be home for 4 months (including summer vacation). I will have to take my sick time for the 8 weeks I will be out of work, but I can also use the sick pool days, so our income will not be effected by my maternity leave, which is such a blessing!!




    marijaa333
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  • I was under the impression that the federal government paid for 6 weeks for husband or partner after baby was born.
  • I think it depends where you live. We live in a state that doesn't provide paid leave. Fmla however covers both paternity leave and maternity leave and is federal law as long as you qualify and gives you up to 12 weeks unpaid leave (some states give you longer too). Yes medically woman have to have some of that time off, but a lot of it is given for baby bonding time. Dads also deserve time to bond with baby.
    robr0303
  • katyeblue said:
    I was under the impression that the federal government paid for 6 weeks for husband or partner after baby was born.
    Ha - I wish! The U.S. federal government doesn't even do this for mom's. Depending on the size of your company, all the government does is guarantees a mother 12 weeks UNPAID leave after the baby is born. I'm not sure if father's qualifiy for any time too, but it is certainly not paid.
    ***First-time Mom in New York City | Married 8.16.13 | Expected Due Date 5.29.15***


    SmrBrd2012amykrHuanne
  • My Dh will be off the day I go into labor, throughout the hospital stay and MAYBE two days after discharge. I am a SAHM and we just cant afford for him to be off of work, because he has no benefits of any kind. He has a really good paying job though, so it isn't a total loss, we just pay everything OOP. My MIL and DH's grama both live like two blocks in either direction of us, and MIL has already said she will pop in to take DD to school and to pick her up from school, when she is here those times, she will help with DD2 so I can get DD1 ready for school, and then she will help me with whatever I need after school, and then DH's granny will check on me in between then. So we have a system that will work for us, even though DH will be gone during the day. Then at night after DH is home and showered and stuff he will take over for the evening until he goes to bed with the exception of feedings, unless I pump a bottle or something. I wish he could have time off to just be with us, but sometimes its just not possible.

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    Shanfrey82
  • DH is taking a week off, we decided I would become a sahm when we started ttc, so with him being our source of income, a week makes the most sense.
    SassFrassgkrenzel
  • A year for me, and a week for him.
    Sunshine4020
  • @tdart14, yay another Canadian!

    I get a year. 6 months or so at 84% of my salary, and then 6 months of EI which amounts to about $490/week.
    My husband will get "Discretionary days" for the days of birth (i.e. paid days off that his boss is nice about) and then he's planning on taking a month off because he's saved up his vacation and lieu days for this!
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  • DH might only take a day or two. We will be relying on his checks so he will be not taking time unfortunately.
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    amscharf
  • DH will probably take two or three weeks off, but it will all be saved-up vacation time as his work doesn't cover anything.  
  • I'm taking 6 weeks, DH is taking a week/:
  • DH will be either in school or doing clinicals so none.  He will be there when I deliver of course and maybe a few days in the hospital but I'm sure he will be back to his schedule after that.
  • Two weeks tops. I don't mind, as my mom and sister are off for the summer and can help. I think he'll start to mind when he has to leave the baby though...he plans on working from home a few days a week so that will be nice.
    TTC: 1/2014 BFP: 9/24 EDD: 6/8/2015 Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
  • My Dh took 2 days off with my last two. Can't see it being any different this time around. I'm a sahm so we can't afford for him to be taking too much time off. We don't have family in the area so I'm hoping I can keep my sanity :)
  • 1-2 weeks is all the army will give, if he is even here for the birth, might be training or already deployed.
  • In the UK dads get 2 weeks paid paternity leave, so hubs will take another month of holiday off too. He's also entitled to take the maternity leave I don't use (6months or so depending when I go back), but that it's an option for us financially as it's 50% pay.
  • dh and I have talked a lot about this and we decided since I have the whole year off and he only has 2 vacation weeks right now that it would be nice to save them and visit with family later in the summer (I'm due May 1). He will of course take a flex day or two when I'm in labour / in the hospital and thankfully with my mom and dad right down the street, I will have a good support system during the day when dh is at work.
  • Our situation is a little unique because we are co owners in a family run business.  I'm planning on taking between 6-12 weeks, but I will still be working a few hours a week in that time.  H will probably take a week off, but he will also have to do some work in that time.  We are planning on switching to working from home after the LO gets here, so we'll see how that works out.
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  • DH is taking 2 weeks PTO.  I'm pretty sure FMLA allows for 12 weeks from both parents of unpaid, not just moms.  I'd have some serious discussions with his HR.
  • My husband gets 6 weeks paid. I get 4 weeks paid, but am taking 12 weeks total.
  • My husband will take two weeks. He took two when our son was born too. I think this will be a bigger adjustment having a toddler and a newborn so it will be nice for my son to have both of us home for a bit.

    I don't think he could do more than two weeks. He would start to go stir crazy.
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  • My husband is taking 6 weeks FMLA with that time being all of his vacation time pay. He's saved up a lot of time and built up a lot of comp time with travel for work. His time away during the early part of the pregnancy really is going to give back. He'll take an extra two weeks if I have to deliver csection. I'm not going back to work until we settle in our new state (his work is also relocating us this summer) so I'll be doing job search in late summer. Not bad timing and I get to focus on her. It only took is years to finally get her, so we will gladly have me home as long as we can financially do it.
  • The army only gives 10 days so any extra time DH will have to take leave days off if we wanted more time
  • At least in MN, FMLA is 12 weeks unpaid, time off with the guarentee of your same job and pay when you return. There are requirements, like you need to have a year in and a certain amount of hours, or else you just qualify for a personal leave, which nothing is guarenteed. Depending on your companies policy is if it's paid or not.

    I'm just taking 8 weeks. Hubby will probably take a few days. Then we are planning a trip a month or so into my leave. So he'll take more time then :)
  • Probably a day or two after the birth, BUT he has the summers off, so when I go back to work in July, he'll be hanging out with DS until just after Labor Day. We will be mobbed with family in town at the beginning- I'm most worried about him just being completely exhausted.
  • I'm taking 9 months off and my partner is going to be a stay at home dad
  • DH gets 5 days and will take a week vacation. I get up to 12 weeks of fmla but have to use sick time and pto. I plan to take 10 weeks

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • In the Chicago area, 1-2 weeks is standard paternity leave and 12 for maternity leave. I've heard a few girlfriends get more but never heard of any guys getting more. A lot of my friends husbands spread theirs out (took 2 days off for 5 weeks instead of 2 straight weeks).
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  • I'm having to cut back to part time due to some of my heath problems related to this pregnancy.  DH will take a few days around the birth off but then will be going back.  I can only take 6 weeks off, max 10 weeks so he's going to work during that time.  My mom will be coming out in a month or so and staying with us for as long as we need her to.  We have a big vacation the first week of August so I'll be taking that week off as well.
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  • My husband's company has an unusually generous (for the US) paternity leave policy, so he gets up to 6 weeks paid leave, counted as 4 weeks immediate "paternity leave" and 2 weeks "bonding leave", which he can take anytime within 6 months of baby's arrival. He plans to take the 4 weeks when our daughter is born - she's due May 8th - and the other 2 weeks in August so we can do a little vacation as a new family then.
    rositalynda2014
  • My husband is military so he gets 10days paid paternity leave then he is taking 21 days of his saves time for a total of 31 or right at a month off. We have no family up here so ts important for him to be here to help me get adjusted.
  • My husband is a teacher and his districts policy is that there is no specific paternity leave but he can use sick days... He has like 40 racked up so he is planning on taking a few days right away then assessing if he would like to take the rest of the school year off, or just do half days, or work every other day, or stay home as needed, etc once we see what will work best for us... Pretty unique that he can just decide as he goes but he is a district dept head so I guess he should have some benefits ;P
  • We're both teachers, so he is going to take off 2-3 days right when I have the baby, then assuming I'm on time, there is only another two weeks of school, then we'll both be off for the summer.
    rositalynda2014
  • I'm taking off until start of school at end of August (I'm a teacher).

    DH gets 3 weeks paternity leave, but will probably take 2 weeks right away to help drop the other kids off/pick them up. He also has about 12 weeks vacation saved and plans on helping over the summer while I'm home with three kids under 4. We also plan on moving before the end of the summer so he wants to save some time off for that
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  • So this post inspired me to get my hubby moving! We had originally planned for him to only take a week of vacation bc he "didn't think" he had paternity leave. After reading this thread I made him approach his HR department and voila! He has 12 weeks off, 6 of which are paid. So he will be taking 6 weeks throughout the 12 weeks allowed. Thanks ladies!
    Huanne
  • Wow it's good to be a Canadian
  • We are both nurses and are each allowed 12 wks leave. My whole 12 weeks is paid, his are unpaid. He has enough pto saved to be paid for 5 weeks and he'll just take the other 7 unpaid. We can afford it without a problem and think it's worth the financial sacrifice to be home together and have that bonding time (it's our first).
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