First baby. 17 years old — The Bump
May 2015 Moms

First baby. 17 years old

okay so I was frightened about pregnancy when I first found out but I decided to keep him and be the best mum I possibly could. His dad is really supportive too. But I am now 29 weeks pregnant, have so many aches and pains, don't have any energy, am really depressed, paranoid, irritable, isolating myself and just feel terrible. I feel like my partner will find someone else as my body isn't exactly how it was when he met me, I have a huge bump and just don't want to do anything anymore. The thing that's frightening me the most is the birth, I don't feel like I'm going to be able to cope as I've never experienced extreme pain before ;-( please can someone suggest something or give me advice or point me in the right direction for said suggestions/advice. Thank you:( x

Re: First baby. 17 years old

  • Do u have birthing classes offered to you in your area? I know as a FTM @ 29, im nervous, excited, frustrated at times, anxious, and the list goes on. I believe that comes with pregnancy dear. As far as your weight goes, he should be understanding. You are carrying his baby!!!! Dont stress! You will be fine. As far as birth, I tell myself, you never know how strong you are until being strong is all you can be. Just take it one day at a time
    cpage2211crsanchez87jdiZzleeeeSarahanne767
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  • I know it's crazy scary to think about birth but I'm positive you'll be okay. I'd read about things to help you cope with pain during labor and delivery and do as many exercises you can to prepare. I'm a ftm too, and 18. Even though my fiancé and I planned this out I'm still scared out of my mind. But you'll get through this. You're almost to the end of your pregnancy, it's almost over. And once you have your baby boy you'll be so happy. As for the dad, if he's sticking around, helping and being supportive you shouldn't worry. I know it's hard not to, I'm contantly paranoid all the time with stuff like that also, but trust is huge in a relationship. And you know? It's probably just the hormones taking over our brain haha Make sure you let him know that you're sorry for feeling the way you do and just let him know when you're upset about anything or worrying. Communication is key. You'll get through this(:
    jdiZzleeeecrsanchez87Sarahanne767
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  • I'm scared and I'm nearly 30, so don't worry!

    I would suggest speaking to your care provider as they have a network of support for these kind of things. Best of luck :)
    jdiZzleeeelishaell
  • You have no idea how much better you just made me feel. It's nice sometimes to just feel related to. Thank you so much and best of luck to both of you :-) x
  • If he would cheat or leave you due to changes in your body during pregnancy then you shouldn't worry too much about him anyway. A real man would not do that to a woman especially since he is the one who helped create this baby. He should have known that sleeping with you without using protection would result in this and you should have known too. 

    Pregnancy isn't the most comfortable thing for everyone and there are many people on this board who are having the same aches/pains/changes are you are having. It is normal and stress about these feelings/changes is also normal. 
    You have to keep in mind that you don't have too much longer and then you'll realize why all of the aches/pains were so worth it. 

    A lot of women would kill to be in your shoes because they can't even have children or have suffered a loss or losses. Keep your head up and be thankful and appreciative that your body is capable of doing something so beautiful...even if he doesn't think so. 
    image
    jdiZzleeeelola2beecourtneydiann3
  • Im 17 too and 29 weeks. I fear pretty much all the same things you do.. But you have to remember the MOST IMPORTANT thing. Now nothing else should matter but that baby.. You need to remember this journey god is showing you is all a part of his plan and now you need to be strong for the little blessing god gave you. We are truly blessed. Some women try for YEARS and can never get pregnant, but we got pregnant on accident. As far as baby daddy in the picture, if he stays, great. If he doesn't, that baby still needs you. Stay strong and keep your head up!
    jdiZzleeeeLojo461Sarahanne767
  • Hello OP. I had my first child at 17. I was scared out of my mind! I actually had a quick , fairly easy delivery with him. That's not always the case but it was with me. I know it's hard but give your BF the benefit of the doubt. I think it's great he is sticking around and trying to be supportive. My BF left me and had nothing to did with while I was pregnant and not much to do with his son. He was a real douche. He was also 19 but not ready to be a parent. For the matter neither was I but I chose to grow up and do what I needed to do in order to take care of my son. I was fortunate that I had a mother who supported me. I was able to stay in school and graduate at the top of my class! Please if you haven't graduated already, finish school!!! Go to community college if you can after the baby is born. It's hard to be a young mother but I promise you that you can do this! It will mean a lot of sacrifices on your part but they are worth it. It's hard to see your body change at any age but you will most likely bounce back very easily. I did with mine. If your BF leaves then as much as it hurts you are better off anyways. You said he is very supportive so trust him. Honestly if he planned on leaving he most likely wouldn't have stuck around this long. Don't push him away with insecurity. I know it's hard especially at 17 not to have insecurities and be frightened but trust in yourself as well. Try to have confidence in yourself and him. Concentrate on having a healthy pregnancy and getting ready for your baby. Try to map out a plan for how you will both provide in the coming years. Life of course will throw you curve balls but you can handle it. Just have faith in yourself and him. As far as childbirth goes. The pain is the same whether you are 17 or 34. Lol Trust me I know;) Try to taking some childbirth classes together. Try to be prepared and have some different relaxation methods you can use during labor. Have faith in your body, in yourself and doctors. I will be praying for you.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    jdiZzleeeemarijaa333beaseg
  • Listen to what these gals say. this will be the best experience of your life. Embrace it and try to relax
    jdiZzleeee
  • Labor is crazy. There's no way around it. Don't spend much time thinking about it. It's like a roller coaster. U are already on it. Just ride it out. The pain does something to your brain and u will just cope. There's a certain part of mine I don't even remember and I am sure there's a reason for that. And then all those wonderful hormones u get once u see the baby help u forget about all the rest of the craziness. That's why people have more than one baby ;)
    jdiZzleeeeSarahanne767
  • I'm 29 weeks and really excited for labor and birth!! What has made me excited are books I've read on positive birth experiences. Especially Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Natural Hospital Birth: Best of Both World's, Husband Coached Birthing, and now I'm reading Hypnobirthing. All of these share really positive stories about birth. It doesn't need to be frightening. I've also found my birth class really helpful! And I've found it beneficial to do prenatal yoga, which is so relaxing and a great experience to be around other pregnant woman and take a moment for yourself and your baby, while also preparing you for labor. I've also read Birth to Reality: Bringing Your Newborn Home. I've found that reading that and nesting has helped me get excited for the bigger picture, which makes me excited for the birth (a crucial step in getting there).

    LErica1jdiZzleeeeMr&MrsNova
  • Labor is kind of scary no matter your age or how many babies you have had. I am almost 30 and have had 2 very different birth experiences, and I have no idea what to expect with this one. But you'll get through it, and you're in good hands with your OB/hospital. Just take it one day at a time and try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. There will come a point in the future when you'll miss those little kicks!
    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15


    jdiZzleeee
  • I am the world's biggest wimp. Like, I actually cried for 15 minutes today before my husband practically had to drag me into the dentist's office for a cleaning. Not even for a freakin root canal or something, just to CLEAN my teeth! I hate the sound the tools make and just knowing I'm near a drill sends my heart rate out of control. I cannot explain to you how big of a wimp I am. 

    When I was pregnant with my first, I was TERRIFIED. I researched and read horror stories and googled all the things that could go wrong EVERY NIGHT while I wept into a bowl of frosted flakes.

    But, at 39 weeks- my water broke, and an hour after arriving at the hospital and experiencing real contractions, I was given a painless epidural and felt nothing but excitement and bliss (and okay, I did throw up- but it wasn't bad! I just blinked, said "I need a bucket", threw up, and then was fine! It didn't bother me at all). I pushed wonderfully and after 4 pushes there was a beautiful baby girl on my chest! And recovery? A piece of cake. I was walking around later that day eating a cheeseburger and holding my baby and watching Friends and learning how to breastfeed. Those were the best days of my life. My recovery in general was super easy and fast and I was very lucky and blessed- but a lot of women are! So know that you may be very lucky and fall into that category too! 

    Also, isolation is the worst thing for a pregnant woman. But yet, we all do it! It's not the best thing for you- but sometimes it's just what you need. Just try to give yourself a break, you're creating a human :)
    jdiZzleeeeBYZSarahanne767
  • Maybe try looking up Positive birth stories, and read some to help calm you. I would check into the hospitals around and take a class too. Most offer them.
    jdiZzleeee
  • Stay away from looking up any birth stories. It will most likely scare you more. Every story is different and you will soon have your own. Mine was easy and natural, also I did not take any classes. They have many types of pain relief if you decide to go that way. You will be fine. Juat remember what your doing it for. Think of the beautiful baby you are creating. As not wanting to do anything and having no energy you are pregnant, creating a person inside you. I have a toddler and have no energy what so ever. Juat doing dishes is enough to kick my butt lol. I will advise getting out of the house and spending some time with your boyfriend. Even just a nice dinner or a movie. You won't have much time after the baby. Your boyfriend is there now so remember that. Stop stressing yourself it's not good on you or the baby. Also it sounds like he cares or he wouldn't still be around now you no. Try to stay positive.
    BabyFetus Ticker
    jdiZzleeee
  • mhayes120 said:
    I'm 29 weeks and really excited for labor and birth!! What has made me excited are books I've read on positive birth experiences. Especially Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Natural Hospital Birth: Best of Both World's, Husband Coached Birthing, and now I'm reading Hypnobirthing. All of these share really positive stories about birth. It doesn't need to be frightening. I've also found my birth class really helpful! And I've found it beneficial to do prenatal yoga, which is so relaxing and a great experience to be around other pregnant woman and take a moment for yourself and your baby, while also preparing you for labor. I've also read Birth to Reality: Bringing Your Newborn Home. I've found that reading that and nesting has helped me get excited for the bigger picture, which makes me excited for the birth (a crucial step in getting there).
    Yes, yes, and YES!!!  I am reading the same books, signing up for hypnobirthing (check hypnobirths in hospitals and see if that's something you want...calm, cool, and in control), and doing pregnancy yoga!!!  Ina May's Guide to Childbirth has been slowly eliminating all my fears of labor because I am also a FTM.  Completely agree!!
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