Friendships over?!?

LuzGeeTee

This particular friend and I have had a friendship for about 4 years. We used to be co-workers so we used to spend a lot of time together. I considered her my best friend and I was even her bridesmaid 2 years ago. Since both leaving the place of employment and since we live somewhat far we stopped seeing each other. But I would always invite her to birthdays, the day I passed the bar exam, my law school graduation, etc.

We haven't seen each other in about a year and we stopped texting as much some months ago. I announced our pregnancy on Christmas Eve through Facebook/Instagram. She texted me that night saying congrats "even though I had to find out through social media." I got that she was upset. And told her we in fact had not told anyone up to that point since both Husband and I wanted to keep it a secret until we were somewhat in the clear. I got no response.

Ever since she has been very short with me. I texted her to let her know about some info I was helping her mom out with legally and she answers me with almost a "ok yeah we already knew" attitude.

She's the type of person I consider special and who I want to be at my baby shower to share the occasion with me but I wonder if I should do something else. Apologize? Or is it not even worth it? I may be reading too much into it. Any advice or anything similar happen to you?

Amstreagle

She's special to you yet you let her find out through social media and you haven't seen her in a year?
This actually recently happened to me where I found out my guy friend that I've known my whole life and his wife were expecting on FB in the most tacky awish video. I was beyond annoyed and hurt.
Honestly your lucky she took the time to text you to congratulate you.
I'm on team your friend and yes, if you want to hold onto that friendship you owe her an apology.

LuzGeeTee

I completely understand what you ladies are saying. I haven't seen her in about a year because we live about 4 towns away and both have a very busy work schedule. We had been meaning to meet up but then again neither of us had the time.

I guess I didn't think it would be that big of a deal for her since recently she had gone through special new events, etc and I had also found out through social media. I congratulated her for the occasions and didn't hold anything against her since I figured we weren't each other's "person" at this point. I will try to talk to her and see how it goes.

nilvero

Yea I'm on your friend's side here. I made sure to tell all my most important people about my pregnancy before I posted about it on Facebook. Same thing when I found out I was having to be induced. It may not have bothered you but I definitely think it's the norm to tell important people before posting it to Facebook.

MummyMegs

While I do think the best thing to have done is reach out personally before the social media announcement, I do think she is taking it on a bit far.

Should you apologize? Yup!

Should she maybe realize life speeds up, you made a mistake, you both can make an effort to be in better touch, etc...Yup.

If she continues her cool attitude beyond your apology then this is her problem, not yours. Apologize, say you miss her, are happy to have her in your life, etc etc.

FemShep

The other thing I notice here, OP, is this seems to be all about you. Your pregnancy, your baby shower, etc. Maybe your friend is feeling like you don't have time for her or interest in anything other than babies. When you reach out to her, apologize for being single-minded recently and tell her you want to catch up in person and hear about her life.

kacdanz

I still have not posted on Facebook because I want to make sure I share with family and friends 1st. However, it does seem she's being a little over dramatic if she's that mad about it. Maybe you should have that uncomfortable conversation to see what's up with her.

xcitdmomma

I agree that you're in the wrong here. There is a long list of people who I would hurt by not telling them ahead of time. I think people process and expect information differently as well. I have friends who love reading news in emails, etc, but I would consider it cold and prefer a phone call.

I feel like if you used to be as close as you were, you would know this would have bothered her.

I say apologize.