I am 4 days now post procedure. I learned at my first ultrasound at 9 wks 3 days that our baby had no heartbeat.
Was so scared waiting the 5 days at home for the hospital procedure. I had a natural, very early miscarriage a few years ago and I
was a beyond terrible experience.
Of course I scared myself silly researching the risks of a d and c. I told the doctor and nurses many times I was petrified of bleeding to death,
not waking up from the drugs, etc.
In reality I had scared myself over nothing. The doctors and nurses at NY Presbyterian were beyond great to me. That helped a ton.
The procedure was short and I woke up after 30 minutes of twilight feeling physically fine. In fact, I have surprisingly had zero bleeding since and zero pain.
Not at all what I imagined.
I want anyone reading who may find themselves waiting through a missed miscarriage to try not to worry. Focus on deep, relaxing breaths.
Physically you will be fine.
Now the emotional healing starts. I find myself at the height of winter without a job now and without a baby. I know instead of asking 'why?',
all I can really answer is 'what now?'
This weekend I plan to scatter the rose petals of the roses my fiance gave me after our devastating news, in the park outside our apartment where I plant
hundreds of tulip bulbs each fall to bloom in the spring. When we go there in the spring, there will be beautiful white tulips.
Take care everyone. You'll make it through. Our babies were 'created on Earth, to bloom in Heaven'.