Am I normal? — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

Am I normal?

I didn't know where to go with this.

Exactly one year after my miscarriage I took a home pregnancy test to find it was positive. I'm happy to have new life growing inside me. Yet, just as big as the excitement and happiness is fear so big it is staggering. Every twinge I'm terrified will lead to the horrid cramps, spotting, and then... well all the rest that goes with loosing a baby. I study the toilet paper for any signs of pink tinges. I'm paranoid of bumping my stomach or lifting anything awkward. I don't know if what I am going through is normal. I don't even know how far along I am. I don't know how much longer I have before I'm in 'the clear'. I have an ultrasound on the 19th to determine how far along I am. I just cannot go through another loss. 

Re: Am I normal?

  • First of all, congrats on your BFP.

    Fear is very normal.  Everything you have said is common for those of us who are PgAL. Take it one day at a time.  You are pregnant today and that is what matters. Honestly, I am not sure you will ever feel that you are 'in the clear,' but it will probably get easier as time goes by and you reach certain milestones. 

    Hang in there.

    BFP #1 11/02/13, EDD 07/04/14, BO diagnosed 12/12/13 at 9w5d
    BFP #2 6/12/14, DD born 2/21/15

  • IrethMommy

    Congratulations on your BFP! 

    And yes you're normal.  It's normal to be afraid after suffering a loss that the same thing will happen again, but remember the mantra - unless sometime tells me I'm not pregnant (like a medical professional) - I am pregnant today - and try and enjoy it as much as possible

    I don't know that I'll feel anyway right until I deliver (please G-d) so it's going to be a LONG 32 weeks here.

    Best of luck!!!

  • Reading your post is like looking in the mirror. I don't think I've ever been so conscious of my body. Every little sensation makes me scared! I am trying to focus on hope. The hope that this will be our baby to keep.
  • Thank you for your replies. They really make me feel like I'm not alone. 
  • Being pregnant after loss is very hard. Even though I feel this little girl moving around several times a day, I don't think I'll feel safe until we're both happy and healthy and she's in my arms. 

    Like prior posters said, take it one day at a time. Don't be afraid to express your feelings and get help if the worrying gets to be too much. I've found journaling to be helpful, but your mileage may vary.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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