Don't Know What to Do with Myself

ViviELA

After a drop in numbers and an ultrasound that showed very little growth, I started bleeding yesterday. The doctor's office told me to go to the emergency room if it got heavy, but it is just slow and steady so far. 

DH works weekends, so I'm just sitting around, alternating between numbing myself with distractions and crying. My mom knows, and she has invited me over a couple times. Part of me wants to go because I'm tired of being alone, but a larger part isn't really ready to be around people. I'm a private person. I hate the idea of crying in front of my parents... How silly is that in the grand scheme of things? 

I feel like I can't make any decisions. I was going to go to work tomorrow, but now I'm just not sure I can power through the day like this. I'm a teacher. I'm not sure if I'll be distracted and fine, or barely keeping myself together. I am supposed to run the damn spelling bee on Tuesday. That feels impossible right now. 

I thought finding this board might make me feel better, and eventually it probably will. But right now I'm just so sad we all have to be here. 

tracij12

So sorry you find yourself here. The waiting and knowing there is nothing you can do is awful. Big hugs!!