January 2015 Moms

Sibling jealously

I came home from the hospital Sunday. LO is 5 days old today and DS is 5 1/2 years old.
He thinks the baby is cute and tiny. He's read her a story, sang songs and fetched me a burp cloth. He's told her that he loves her.
But he's in kindergarten so he's gone most of the day, DH has been taking him to and from school this week for me while he's off work, and DS and I just haven't had much time together. I'm bf ing on demand and sore from the c/s, but I am afraid DS feels like I'm ignoring him.
This morning he came upstairs to talk to me before school but then left quick because LO was nursing and he only wanted to see me... It's hard to change nearly 6 years of routine being the only child...
Any one have tips/experience bringing baby home with a school-aged older child? What things were/are you able to do with just the older sibling?

Re: Sibling jealously

  • DD will be 5 in June, so not school age yet, but we went/are still going through similar issues. DS is 3 weeks old, hubs was home the first 9 days & kept her occupied but when he went back to work it got difficult. I try to involve her in everything not baby related, like cooking dinner & tried to do something with her when he was napping.
  • I'm in the same boat at you. I'm just trying to include her in as much as I can. She feels like she's been replaced and it breaks my heart. :-(
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  • @FitmomJess‌ That's it exactly. I'm hoping this weekend DS and I can have some mom&son time without baby, even if it is only an hour.
  • Yes experiencing this too. When dd sleeps I spend as much time one on one with DS. And she has been taking 2-3 hr naps at least 3 or 4 times a day so even if it's him sitting on my lap watching tv I feel better.
  • Gah, this is so hard! Like the PPs, my best advice is just to try and have some one-on-one time with your older son. It doesn't have to be anything special or lengthy, but just making a point to do something with him (without the baby in your arms) should help. My boys are younger, but I try to read books to them.often, which they love. I've also been purposefully trying to tell them how much I love them and how important they are to me often.
    And, lastly, like any big change, this adjustment will take time. Good luck!!
  • Right now I feel like my son hates me. I feel so guilty and sad. We really need some days without visitors at our house so I can spend time with him after school. DH just doesn't see it like I do.
  • Right now I feel like my son hates me. I feel so guilty and sad. We really need some days without visitors at our house so I can spend time with him after school. DH just doesn't see it like I do.

    He does not hate you! He's jealous because he loves you so much, and now you're sharing your attention with two children.
    I know this is really hard right now, but it will get better--I promise! He will adjust to sharing you, and, eventually, he'll be glad to have his little sister around. I remember feeling a little bit like you do when DS2 was born, but I kept reminding myself that a sibling is one of the best gifts you can give your child. Hugs, momma!
  • Thank you @Mrs_Bennett‌
    It was such a rough afternoon with him from the minute he got home from school yesterday, certainly doesn't help that 6 days postpartum I'm still overly emotional as well. Looking forward to the weekend...
  • My stepdaughter is 10 so we have quite the age gap. She is excited about baby coming, but unfortunately we live in a tiny 2 bedroom. She is going to have to share her room. This is not going well as she is starting to get really territorial (even though she is only here once a week and every other weekend) and to make it worse, her dad is thus far on her "side". Fact is that her little bro will be here full time and he has no where to call his own... I know he doesn't take up much room yet, but psychologically I'm wicked upset that my stepdaughter's shrine of crap in her room is getting precedence over my son. Btw, he will be here this week. He's past his due date. Probably knows what he's getting into out here!
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