Waiting to tell people — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

Waiting to tell people

I am five weeks pregnant after a MMC a few months ago. I literally just want to scream it, however I am waiting until after the first ultrasound to make sure all is well. With my loss I found out at the first ultrasound that my twins stopped developing around 5/6 weeks. When did you tell everyone or are planning on telling them?

Re: Waiting to tell people

  • I will be 13 weeks on Tuesday and I have yet to tell anyone but my doctors/therapist. I am just getting to the point where I'm ready to tell people. My mom is coming to visit in a few weeks so I will tell her then and the rest of my family around the same time. I am not anxious to tell anyone really.

    "Love is what makes pain bearable." - I love you my Angels. 
    **All After a Loss Welcome**
    BFP #1: 6/25/09 EDD 2/13/10 @ 6 weeks- Saw HB @ 9 weeks - DS born 2/11/10 (39w5d)
    BFP #2: 2/20/13 EDD 11/4/13 - Saw HB 3/19/13 (7w2d) - MMC discovered 4/13/13 (10w5d) - Est. loss @ 9w3d - D&C 4/14/13
    BFP #3: 12/19/13 (4 w1d) EDD 8/27/14 - 1/1/14 discovered it was ectopic/ tube had burst/ had surgery to remove tube (@ 6 weeks)
    BFP #4: 9/10/14 (3w6d) EDD 5/21/15 - natural MC 9/23/14 @ 5w5d
    BFP #5: 11/23/14 (3w3d) EDD 8/4/15 - Please be our Rainbow! 

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • We waited until 12 weeks. After 2 previous losses we couldn't possibly go through telling people and then having to tell them bad news again
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  • I didn't want to tell anyone when I first found out. I am now 9 wks and found out Friday that the baby has a heartbeat!!! Now I'm a little OK telling certain people. As soon as I told my husband he told my dad. (Granted my parents were temporarily staying with us because there house caught fire and was getting repaired, but it was still sinking in. Hell the test was still freaking wet!) I was soooo pissed at him. I honestly didn't want anyone knowing. I dreaded another loss and I didn't want the same thing happening again. I didn't want to tell people that I had lost the baby when I wasn't even the ones that had told them in the first place. You should tell people when you are ready! No matter how soon or far in your pregnancy you are. Good luck!
  • We aren't telling anyone until around 16 weeks this time. My first pregnancy ended at week 18 due to a ntd, so we want to make sure we are out of the woods for a recurrence before we make a huge announcement. It will be really hard, but ultimately will make me more comfortable.
  • Well. I have been all over the place with telling some and not others. I have told more people than I thought I would. I guess because everyone new we were trying again after our loss in October at 14.3 weeks. The wired thing is, I haven't told some of my immediate family yet but I have told some people at work! I am only 5 weeks along and haven't even had an ultrasound yet. my hcgs have been rising fine though.
  • I had a miscarriage at 18 weeks for my husband`s and I first baby. But we told my siblings, parents and parents in law. I am only 5 weeks. But, we can't tell my husbands only brother because his wife has been going through infertility treatment for almost 4 years and last week was their last cycle to try and now they have to go through ivf but they don't have the kind of money to do ivf :/
  • I delivered my first baby, my son, in August. He was stillborn due to Trisomy 18. I carried him for 35 weeks. We just found out we are pregnant again. We've only told close family. We are so nervous.
  • After 4 losses, including a stillbirth at 24w, I'm all over the place. Friends/family I see on a daily basis found out quickly. Now that I'm 14w and got good test results, we told our 3 1/2 year old and others.

    It's really something only you can decide. My only suggestion is to be open to telling those you would rely on if something were to happen. Let them support your nerves and feed your excitement.


    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

  • I'm in the same boat as you. In about 5 weeks, and I had a MMC in September, baby stopped growing at 7 weeks.

    I'm waiting till at least my 8w ultrasound before telling anyone but my husband. I don't want to have to go and tell everyone I had another miscarriage (if I do).

    a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c2dc3.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • We told everyone after we got the ultrasound and saw a heartbeat. We lost our son at 19 weeks almost a year ago due to his spina bifida. I had so many friends come to me after we lost him telling me that they knew what we were going through and I could talk to them whenever I needed someone. I can't imagine going through a loss and keeping it bottled up inside like they felt they had to, so I promised myself that I would be open about all of my pregnancies with anyone that wanted to know. We officially announced this pregnancy around 7 weeks and we're 18 weeks today.





                                                                 Big Sister Piper

    Born at 37 weeks, strong NICU survivor

    Friday, November 13th, 2009, 7:17 AM

    Baby Brother Link

     Born sleeping at 19 weeks with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus

    Sunday, March 2nd, 2014, 7:27 PM


  • I literally just took a test, though me and my husband suspected for a few days now, and I suspect I am 4 weeks and 4/5 days. 

    But, enough about that, I don't plan to tell people until I am 12 weeks or so (April Fool's Day, honestly) just to make sure. I am telling my close family (parents, his parents, my grandmother, etc) but until then... I am keeping my lip zipped. And, oh my god, it's HARD already. 
  • My husband and I haven't told anyone not even our parents. I'm scared to tell anyone but at the same time I feel so lonely. I feel like I'm going through this life changing event alone. Of course my husband is great but I feel lonely with no female support. We had a mc in January of last year. After a d&c I developed ashermans syndrom (scarring of the uterus). It took ten months to diagnose and finally in oct I had surgery to correct it. We immediately got pregnant but are so nervous. 2014 was an awful year for us. Hoping 2015 is better. I have my nt scan next week. Praying it all goes well.
  • We did it on halloween at twelve weeks

    Me (28) DH (34) actively TTC since 2010

    2011 dx by RE: Severe mfi- Treatment option: IVF w/ ICSI ( I declined the RE recommendation to use ds),  2012  IVF#1 w/ICSI long Lupron protocol + follistim + menopour.  Transferred 2 day 3 embys, ended in early m/c, 2013 IVF#2 w/ICSI bcp, lupron, & a lot of friggin follistim. Received a call the morning of transfer that they ceased, 2014  1/11/14 -cycle day 1, unmedicated AI w. DS.  AI #1 1.23.14, scheduled again for 1.25.14, & 1.27.14

    My baby lives in my heart.  Juliette Marie 1/17/2008 - forever 

  • Like you, I'm pregnant a few months after a missed miscarriage and a D&C. I'm waiting to tell anyone until I'm 12 weeks along. We made the mistake of telling our family last time and it made it that much more heartbreaking when I had to watch many of them cry for our loss. It's going to work out fabulously this time because we will be exactly 12 weeks along the day we have a family getaway at the lake for spring break! Praying everything is ok for both of us!
    Me: 25  DH: 24
    Me: 4th Grade ELAR Teacher  DH: Police Officer
    Married: May 28, 2011
    TTC 1st Child since January 2013
    1st RE Appt: 8/19/14
    Blood Work: 8/26/14
    HSG Test: 9/2/14
    RE Appt to discuss results and treatment: 9/8/14
    Shocking BFP: 9/27/14
    D&C: 10/17/14
    Benching myself until we fully heal
    Unexpected BFP: 1/23/15

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