1st Trimester

bridesmaid at 7 months pregnant, help!

So, I am in SIL's wedding and its this summer and at that time I will be 7 months pregnant. I am having mixed feelings about what to do. She never officially asked me to be her bridesmaid, she asked me over myspace about a year ago and just today I received a text message to get my dress before march. So I don't feel that close to her, but don't want to damage the relationship. I don't feel comfortable being in the wedding while so pregnant. Any advice?
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Re: bridesmaid at 7 months pregnant, help!

  • Does she know that you are pregnant?
  • Not yet, we are waiting until after our first appt on the 15th of Jan to make any public announcement. She is the type to tell the entire world, so we're waiting for a bit longer.
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  • Just tell her how you feel.  That you would love to do it, but at 7 months pregnant you don't think it's the best idea and I'm sure she'll understand.
  • One of my BM was 6 wks away from giving birth. She looked fantastic. If you do want to be in it, don't let being pregnant stop you. If you don't, don't blame it on being pregnant.

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  • imageTraycee1242:

    One of my BM was 6 wks away from giving birth. She looked fantastic. If you do want to be in it, don't let being pregnant stop you.?If you don't, don't blame it on being pregnant.

    ?I've been to a few weddings with very pregnant BM's and I think they are ADORABLE!?

  • I've never understood the problem with being a pregnant bridesmaid. I don't understand a bride who doesn't want someone standing up with her just because she pregnant. My best friend/MOH was pregnant when I got married and I never questioned that she would be a bridesmaid.

    Do you just not want to be a bridesmaid and being pregnant is a good excuse?

  • You should still be in the cute pregnant phase at that point so I would be in the wedding if I were you... You just have to hold out 10 more days before you tell her... the dress may have a maternity option or she may want to pick another one for you.

  • Its not that I don't want to be a bridesmaid, I just don't know the protocol. I don't know anyone that's had a pregnant bridesmaid, and wasn't sure if its even an issue. Theres just so many questions I have about this.
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  • imagemjsweetgirl:
    Not yet, we are waiting until after our first appt on the 15th of Jan to make any public announcement. She is the type to tell the entire world, so we're waiting for a bit longer.

    Even though it was over MySpace, you made a committment already. After your appointment, I think it would be best to tell her. See what she says- if you don't want to be in the wedding, maybe you'll "luck" out and she'll ask you if you're still comfortable being in the wedding. Otherwise, I think you should stick to your agreement to be in the wedding- esp. since you all are family. Probably not the answer you were looking for, but I hope it all goes well for you.

  • I was a pg bridesmaid the summer before last.  It was no big deal.  Don't wear heels all night!  Otherwise you should be good to go.  7 months pg is still really cute pg (8-9 months was not so pretty for me).

     

  • I'd do it as long as it is a local wedding because you might not be able to travel if there are any complications.  You will definately need a maternity dress and I would go with flats instead of heels.  I would just talk openly with her and since the dresses don't need to be ordered until March you can wait until the 15th to talk to her about maternity dress and shoe options.
  • Ok, just read your last post. Even though there are a lot of bridezillas, I think most women are okay with pregnant women in their weddings. It'll be fine!
  • I am a wedding coordinator and in October we had a bridesmaid who was literally ready to pop and it was fine, it's up to you and the bride
  • Good luck with this.

    I was 35 weeks pregnant at my sisters wedding so I didn't have a choice. SO I sucked it up and I bought a maternity dress. Luckily she told us we could pick out a dress as long as it came from a specific company and was in a specific color. Needless to say I looked like I was wearing a brown tent. 

    I will also be 35 weeks pregnant for my brothers wedding. I am beginning to become a professional at this. 

    Also, when you are looking at dresses ask the women at the store for their opinion. If the bridal shop is high quality they will have women who know what looks good on pregnant women. This was not the case for me the first time around. 

    HTH
    Dana

  • If the dresses are already picked out are there maternity options, or do I just choose the closest thing I can find that I can wear? She has the dresses picked out at davids bridal.
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  • imagemjsweetgirl:
    If the dresses are already picked out are there maternity options, or do I just choose the closest thing I can find that I can wear? She has the dresses picked out at davids bridal.

    It probably depends on the style, but most material/colors have a maternity option.

  • I was supposed to be 39 weeks in SIL wedding. I told her I would still do it, if I was allowed by doctor (prob not though cause it's 2 states away). I would suggest you tell her as early as you feel comfortable and let her decide what she would like you to do.  My SIL was accomodating enough to push her wedding back a few weeks to make sure we could make it, but at 7 months that probably won't be the case.
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  • I disagree a little bit with the above. I think you should do whatever you are comfortable with. If you are concerned about your own comfort, standing still for a long time, wearing possibly shoes that she picks out, etc, if you think she won't be the most understanding about the whole thing and you are not that close to begin with, you can feel free to bow out. I think it can be a factor, especially if there is any travel involved. You don't have to do it, just because you agreed before you got pregnant.
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  • I'm in two weddings in June!  I am however, fully prepared to handle both (potential) bridezillas :)  With DD, I actually was in a wedding a couple weeks pp and THAT was uncomfortable (felt like a cow).
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  • I will be 7 1/2 weeks pregnant at my sister's wedding in the end of June, and I will be the matron of honor.  My sister is very excited for me and has no problem with it!  As for the dress, they do not have a maternity dress in the style she picked out (Alfred Angelo dress), so we are going to get it approximately 2 sizes bigger and get extra material, so we have have it altered just before the event!

  • I will be 6 months in my brothers wedding in CA (I live in ME). The dress they picked doesn't have a maternity style and the woman at the store was like, oooh, that dress doesn't do well with a pregnant belly. But, I am going to try it on again with a "fake belly" on and just buy a bigger size and take it in in the boobs. At this rate, I probably won't have to take the boobs in that much, haha.


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  • Tell her how you feel and let her know that you will not be able to stand up for her. The sooner you do it, the better.

    FWIW - If you really have to be in the wedding at 7 months you won't be the most comfortable, but it is very doable. 

    GL. 

  • I think it's up to you. If you will not feel comfortable being up there I would tell her. Maybe she can have you do something else like a reading or something so that you're still part of the ceremony. I'm sure your SIL will understand.

    I'm going to be in 3 weddings while pregnant (6,7 and 8 months pregnant!). It should be interesting!

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  • If you are interested in being a bridesmaid for her then tell her privately that you are pregnant.  I will be in one of my friends wedding in March and when she asked me to be her bridesmaid I wasnt pregnant yet, just trying. I asked her if she had any issues with having a pregnant bridesmaid and she said that she would be thrilled for me!  I found out that I was pregnant right after I bought my dress but on the shopping trip we spent extra time with the sales lady to make sure that the dress we bought would indeed fit me on the day of.  I bought a size up just in case so that it will be an easy enough fix to alter for her big day.  The store assured me that if the day came and I was indeed far too big to fit the dress that they would do whatever was needed to make sure that I had a dress. Fortunately the dress she picked is an empire waist and is loosely flowing from there down.  It will be a very cute maternity dress.  I will be 5 months at the time of her wedding.  Best of luck to you, I hope you can enjoy the ocassion for both of you!  Im sure she will still be thrilled to have you as her bridesmaid!
  • Do it if you want to...if you don't want to be a bridesmaid then use being pg as an excuse to get out of it.  I am the MOH in a friends wedding and I will be 6 months then.  She doesn't know they but I'm sure she won't care.
  • i was matron of honor on dec 22 and had my baby jan 4..it wasn't bad at all, i just ordered a huge dress and had lots of alterations! :)
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