Should I stay in this community?

kal2594

I have been looking around at threads trying to get a feel for how things work on this site. All I see is other people attacking people, and everyone generally not liking each other. I am new here, and I was looking for support, but I am nervous to even post this. I am not trying to change how this community is, or how people function here, but is this the right place for a young first time mom? I'm not an idiot like I have seen many complain about. But I just don't think I will belong here if everyone is focused on insulting each other. I am genuinely asking. I'd like to stay and fit in here, but I'm a pretty peaceful person and I am unsure how to at this time. Any advice (or even if I should leave here) would be great, thanks.

thesportsgal

It depends: do you like smoke blown up your ass or do you like facts/science/truth?

And I am not being snarky...genuinely asking.

LuluRM

www.****

astheria

thesportsgal said:

It depends: do you like smoke blown up your ass or do you like facts/science/truth?

And I am not being snarky...genuinely asking.

Come to the dark side. We have cookies. But seriously, from the looks of the past week this will not be the place for people looking for actual information. If you can handle a small bit of sarcasm and snark, I would probably find that lovely dark side that people discuss. If you want to see 20 posts on am I showing or should I eat xyz, stay here.

nbalkin

That is up to you. I have never found these boards to be anything but helpful in the past, but i do know it is not for everyone.

svenskalamb13

The choice is yours. Real people or ridiculous people?

deviduke412

The website is great because of the to-do calendar, the articles, a place to store weekly photos, etc. However, I do agree that the community board section is quite disappointing. I am also a first time mom and occasionally want to get advice or give where I'm knowledgeable. It makes it extremely hard to even want to click on a post and scroll through bc 95% of the time it's filled with hateful comments and un-loving criticism. I only stay because of the tools and articles. I do look through the posts to see if I can offer advice, but the moment I see the bashing, I exit the post. It really saddens me to see how people treat others.

thesportsgal

*Post removed*

Who are you talking to???

astheria

Funny, on the dark side, there has been nothing even closely resembling "mean girl" behaviors that have been suggested by newer posters to this board prior to the Drama. Zero issues. But there's also zero posts that weren't googled or search functioned ahead of time. Very respectful and supportive. All from the "bad apples" this "community" wants to shun.

aotto87

Rockbk said:

I made a post similar & the bully's had a fest with it smh. I've tried deleting my account & I'm currently searching "how to" I'd rather be on a board that encourages & uplifts. I mean we're all pregnant..that's joyous! I've been here for 5 years now..hasn't always been this way.

How about you just stop typing in the Web address or delete the app ?

AuroraUK

I was talking to you, sportsgal or whatever your name is.

LuluRM

astheria said:

Funny, on the dark side, there has been nothing even closely resembling "mean girl" behaviors that have been suggested by newer posters to this board prior to the Drama. Zero issues. But there's also zero posts that weren't googled or search functioned ahead of time. Very respectful and supportive. All from the "bad apples" this "community" wants to shun.

This is so true! Shit, we are kumbaya and hair-braiding compared to what is going on over here.

thesportsgal

AuroraUK said:

I was talking to you, sportsgal or whatever your name is.

And what exactly did I say that sounded like I had a stick up my ass??? 

nbalkin

Rockbk said:

I made a post similar & the bully's had a fest with it smh. I've tried deleting my account & I'm currently searching "how to" I'd rather be on a board that encourages & uplifts. I mean we're all pregnant..that's joyous! I've been here for 5 years now..hasn't always been this way.

No your post involved criticizing people, calling names, and telling woman that they were lying about being pregnant and that their children will become bullies.

Op there will be good and bad wherever you go. Unfortunately most of the name calling and rude comments that you have seen have come from women who don't like others who respectfully disagree with their beliefs.

aotto87

Rockbk said:

aotto87 said:

Rockbk said:

I made a post similar & the bully's had a fest with it smh. I've tried deleting my account & I'm currently searching "how to" I'd rather be on a board that encourages & uplifts. I mean we're all pregnant..that's joyous! I've been here for 5 years now..hasn't always been this way.

How about you just stop typing in the Web address or delete the app ?

I do what I want when/how I want. Thanks for the "opinion" I didn't request.

And we comment how we want. You make a post and can't dictate the responses. I just think it's hilarious that you don't want to be here yet you keep commenting.

AuroraUK

The part when you said:

thesportsgal said:
It depends:
do you like smoke blown up your ass or do you like facts/science/truth?

And I am not being snarky...genuinely asking.


^
Kinda makes you sound rude and condescending.

astheria

AuroraUK said:

The part when you said: thesportsgal said: It depends: do you like smoke blown up your ass or do you like facts/science/truth? And I am not being snarky...genuinely asking. ^ Kinda makes you sound rude and condescending.

Just going to point out here that you could take your own advice, and comment how you feel and ignore the people's comments that you dislike or think are rude/condescending rather than trying to instigate an argument by pointing it out.

thesportsgal

AuroraUK said:

The part when you said: thesportsgal said: It depends: do you like smoke blown up your ass or do you like facts/science/truth? And I am not being snarky...genuinely asking. ^ Kinda makes you sound rude and condescending.

So asking the OP a question - AND PUTTING I AM NOT BEING SNARKY, GENUINELY ASKING - is being rude and condescending??  This is the problem with newbs like yourself.  You cannot handle facts/truth/science. 

And learn how to use the quote button, for fucks sake. 

^^^Now THAT is rude and condescending.  Learn the difference. 

AuroraUK

Uuugh boring.
Go do some sports or something.

AuroraUK

Like you just did astheria?

AuroraUK

Do you even know what condescending means?

mrspiatt

Other than people like @aurorauk trying to cause drama and being far too sensitive, the community is pretty cool. You will receive honest answers, which is great especially for a FTM. They are honest answers though, so sometimes they will not be the answer you were hoping for. This is not a place to go to in order to stroke your own ego, or get support on stupid ideas. You should stick around a while and see what you think. Whatever you decided, good luck to you and I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months.

AuroraUK

mrspiatt said:

Other than people like @aurorauk trying to cause drama and being far too sensitive, the community is pretty cool. You will receive honest answers, which is great especially for a FTM. They are honest answers though, so sometimes they will not be the answer you were hoping for. This is not a place to go to in order to stroke your own ego, or get support on stupid ideas. You should stick around a while and see what you think. Whatever you decided, good luck to you and I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months.

Ahhhh shaddup. Lolllll.
Who even are you!
( Rhetorical question btw because I don't care)

aotto87

ammurph223

When I first got on here, (only about 8 weeks ago), this community was great! Lots of support, honest answers, and the occasional snarky sarcastic response (wich I'm not going to lie didn't really bother me, and most of times were actually pretty hilarious! ) It has gotten a little crazy on here lately due to the guideline changes and lots of other stuff that has happened! But I think I'm going to stick around for a little while longer and give this site the benefit of the doubt and hopefully it can eventually return to the awesomeness I only got a taste of a few weeks ago! If you do decide to stay on here though I would just like to advise you to lurk A LOT before you start posting questions, double posts are frowned upon here lol, and extremely annoying when you see the same things every single day! And if you do decide to leave do it peacefully and quietly and you can avoid a boatload of drama (unlike these other women who complain about the board and then get put on blast). Just my outlook on the board though and if you do decide to stay welcome!

lauren12c

Go to www.babycenter.com
I find it to be wayy more supportive and the feedback is wonderful. You don't have to fear posting something because of the responses you might get. I think the responses to this post speak for themselves. Good luck to you!

bashfulbird

@ammurph223 has made some valid points and I agree
on the flipside there seems to be a lot of butthurt here these days that revolves around the butthurt of others. I'm totally new, arrived somewhere near the guideline shakedown occurred.
This is just a hunch, but it seems like a lot of the most productive members of the bump have gone to the darkside, but there is still this element here like a bad vibe, that's lingering. People are hurt and frustrated by the change.

 I am hoping that if I can hang in here long enough It will be like 8 weeks ago when things were great. So my advice is, definitely search the boards before asking a medical type question but for questions like this, where you are just trying to reach out to other humans, do it! But expect to get heckled by some and when it happens....don't let the keyboard cowboys get you down...just move on. Every time you think you have been harped on, balance it out by going to another board and sending a positive vibe on down the line.
It is what you make it.

Dan8475

It was like that on the last forum I was in. I guess no matter where you go your always going to get pissed off pregnant ladies who love to make everyone else feel as crappy as they do. The key is to get past the bull shit and find the few nice people. If your looking for suport and a friend message me.

PixelPosy

I haven't been too active on this board yet, but I found my last BMB to be extremely helpful throughout pregnancy and especially once the babies arrived. It was a little crazy and drama filled during the first trimester or two, but settled down into a core group of women that were very supportive. The late night check ins or sharing ideas to help make life with newborns easier was great. I hope this board ends up the same way.