Am I being unreasonable?

ashleyat87

So yesterday my soon to be sister in law tells me they're about to foster a dog and that they're 99% sure they'll decide to keep it. She says they're going to name it Elli. I said, well... Elliot (Elli for short) is our HUMAN name of choice. She responded, well if you want to name your baby after our dog it doesn't bother me. She was joking but made the decision to go ahead with Elli regardless.

Am I being unreasonable if I straight up ask them not to use the name? Is it fair to say that this dream child of mine named Elli trumps their naming decision for something that is actually here and real? I'm not a trouble maker and hate controversy, but, in my defense... this soon to be sister in law also thinks its funny to play the "I'm pregnant" announcement game with me all the time. She knows everything we're going through (IF & IVF) and has decided to make insensitive cruel jokes, so should I care about her hurting her feelings with naming their dog?!

Ughh the stupid things my mind worries about...

ashleyat87

typos correction: .... so should I care about hurting her feelings with naming their dog

tifga

I have never understood why people get so sensitive about names, so I personally think you are being silly. It is not like she picked it to hurt you she likes the name. 

sundaybrunch

So SIL may not be the most sensitive person in the world but it doesn't sound like you actually straight up asked her not to name her dog Elli.  I'd start there and if possible have the convo with both her and your brother.  She may not know what the name means to you and even though you may voluntarily NOT move forward with the name it doesn't mean she'll pick up on that.

Cindal

I personally don't think it matters one way or another. If you like the name and you get the chance to use it, then use it, whoever else is using it be damned. You will be the one saying it every day for the rest of your life. And if you like the name who cares if a dog has the same name. I mean really my cat's name is Claire. Plenty of people are named that and there was once even discussion of using that name again! for a kid if the cat had already passed, simply because we like the name. Whatever you do don't make a stink of it, if she's already unsupportive its only going to make that worse.

emmuffy

My friend has used many of my favourite names for her cats. It happens. No reason you can't use the name for more than one purpose.

mrscsw

I don't think you are being silly. Family is supposed to have your back, and your future SIL knows you are going through a lot so she should try and support you.  That crack about you naming your kid after her dog is just plain wrong.  I wish I could throat punch her for you!!  I would talk to your brother and tell him how much it hurts your feelings.  If they still name their dog that then you know they do not have your back.  Good luck.

ashleyat87

Thanks for your input ladies. I think my real issue isn't just about names. I think I'm just upset she continues to poke fun at my IF issues and can't be supportive. This was just one more notch to add to the others with her. My mom says she's immature and has "only child syndrome" (no offense to only children!), and that she has trouble playing nice with others. She has many selfish tendencies. I keep reminding my mom we aren't kids anymore and she's a grown up just like I am. So no excuses! I truly do hope they never experience this IF stuff because it sucks, but also because I don't think they could handle it. All of this aside, she and I have been good friends up until lately when she's said and done many insensitive things. I just wish she could be more understanding. I've cooled off quite a bit since my first post. Again, thanks for your input!

Carol77B

I'm sorry she is being like that! If you really like the name, I think you should still go with it and just laugh it off in the future if anyone comments/asks about it. If she is acting so immature about your situation, she'll probably do it no matter what you say.

Good luck!

vpine

Siggy warning- what makes you sure you will have a boy? I used to have a boy name picked out and turns out, we are having two girls whose names we've changed in the past few days....let her name dog whatever she wants. I learned that IF can make us extra sensitive

ashleyat87

It's our boy or girl name. But like I said, it's really not just a name thing. It's the name thing on top of many other things she's done to us (many on purpose). I've never asked her to stop but I don't feel like should have to and I don't want to stir stuff even more so I'm trying to ignore her. It's just tough.

Bleebebebebe

She's a jerk. No other advice really. But she's a jerk.

MagicMikki

I totally feel for you, but mostly because I also had a SIL who was a total nightmare. I could sense it right away in your post that it definitely wasn't about the name, but more so about your SIL-to-be's intent behind naming her dog Elli, which was just another way she has control over you and your feelings. Of course, I don't know you nor your SIL-to-be, but I have definitely been in your shoes where you SIL has serious passive aggressive tendencies. Don't worry... just remember, her actions are not about you and they're not even about the name of her dog or your future child... They are about her! She's likely jealous of some aspect of your life and feels the need to make herself feel better by taking jabs at your and your weakness. Kill her with kindness!  

fayth4one

Best advice EVER @MagicMikki‌!!