To Spy or Not To Spy? — The Bump
March 2014 Moms

To Spy or Not To Spy?

Good article on future parenting and spying/monitoring your children, What are your thoughts?

I found out later in life that my mom read everything in my purse/backpack. Every note or anything. I never knew and don't really have any issues with it now.


Re: To Spy or Not To Spy?

  • I will look at everything except probably a journal but my kids will know ahead of time. Like when they get their first phone I will tell them I will be checking it. If they don't like that, then they don't get one.

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  • One side says if you are too controlling your child will rebel!

    On the other hand if you let your kids do whatever they want because "it's wrong" to spy on them then that's an issue!

    There needs to be parenting but a balance.

    One of my friends parents were super controlling and she went bsc and slept around with everyone she knew and was doing everything she could think of the go Behind their back. It was all in spite of them....

    BUT someone else I know had no supervision and was let do whatever and had a baby at 16. So idk.

    This whole topic freaks me out haha. I want to be strict but not strict all at once
  • I didn't read the article but...

    My 13 year old was aware when we allowed her to use email (age 10-ish) that it would be monitored. (Her dad gets an auto email of everything she sends or receives).

    She just got Facebook this past year. We have access to it as well.
    Her phone/iPod is subject to random review of searches and text messages.
    Her computer history is monitored as well.

    None of these things existed when I was a child. If they didn't exist now, this wouldn't be an issue.

  • I will probably spy.  Funny, I was just thinking about this the other night and how one summer my best friend was living with us and we snuck out a few nights in a row.  When my mother realized we were gone she read my journal to see if it said where we were.  That pissed me off and still does.  Mostly because I just can't stand my mother and how stupid would I have to be to have written in there where we were going?  I was actually pretty responsible but smart enough to know how to get around her and sneak things.  Looking back, there were some situations I was in that bad things could have happened, but how else do you learn?
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