On vaca w the inlaws & announced.....

charliepepper

and zero reaction. MIL smiled and said "that's nice", and that's all we got. Happened 3 days ago and hasn't been brought up since.

I'm not super close with them, but we get along really well and we make a point to take vacation w them yearly--they live in Asia, so we meet them halfway. I brought it up with my husband, and he was surprised and disappointed at their reaction as well.

It's their first grandchild, so we thought they would be ecstatic. Now I just feel awkward, and we have an entire wk here. Any one else get this kind of reaction? Any clue why they would be acting like this?

paradebegone

All I could think is maybe it's cultural?

My SILs parents had a similar type reaction and they are Chinese.

usermovedon

DD

cls2015

I'm a little mad at your in-laws and I know nothing about them.

As others said, maybe it is cultural.  Don't take it personally!

Do you think they expected the news?

asun123

My man and I had a similar reaction with his parents but now they are happy and talk about the baby all the time.

His dad didn't say anything. And his mom just said 'oh.. wow'

slamar3

Sorry you didn't get te reaction you were expecting. What is your H's thoughts on the response?

foreverMorgan

paradebegone said:

All I could think is maybe it's cultural? My SILs parents had a similar type reaction and they are Chinese.

This was my first thought.

charliepepper

Thanks for the support and suggestions! Both my husband and I were taken aback, since Chinese ppl loooooove becoming grandparents. We tried to gently bring it up this morning by asking if they wanted to tell family themselves--MIL told us to just group text the cousins, and that way the info would trickle along from there =/ Oh well, if anything it has make me appreciate my parents much more! It was getting slightly overwhelming how excited they were, now I'm calling my mom everyday to get a little love boost. And at least all his extended family is super excited!

MisSmartyPants

Could it be a cultural thing?

nikkisauro

Sorry that they didn't have the reaction you were expecting.  I'd be a little bummed too.

Are they typically low-key people?  Some people just don't display emotion or excitement outwardly. 

bim38106

I'm sorry you got such a low reaction. I would be bummed about that

I bet it is a cultural thing, as PPs have mentioned. Not that they're not excited, but more about not showing emotions as much....hopefully they'll show more soon and at least talk about it and ask questions! 

rosainky

My parents are Korean and they were openly very excited for me! (And it's not even their first grandchild). Maybe they are just reserved... or they will get more excited when you're showing more or when the baby get here?

amichael89

With our first my mother in law said yay and fil asked us if we had insurance and basically if we could afford the baby. My sil, whom hubby is not very close with, was more excited than his parents. Now you would never know they reacted that way. They adore our daughter and are super excited about baby #2

LibbyC730

My in-laws, especially MIL, reacted positively, hugs all around and excited to tell family members. We told my parents next and my mom was excited, but the first comment my dad made was about the conflict with our previous plan for the weekend (grandpa turns 90 on the 4th and our due date is the 5th....umm, sorry?). I think it's probably just because those are both important events for him to be present for, but still kind of took me back.

erysapplepie

My husband is native american and his parents had little to no reaction and when I asked them about it they said they are superstitious about miscarriages! They promised there will be a big pow wow to celebrate the birth:) so yeah. Its most likely cultural.

Marinewife81

We got a reaction like that too. Dh was super pissed but I'm really beyond giving a shit at this point. There's nothing they can do about it anyway.

WhiteSun

I think it might be bad luck to tell this early for previous generations? If that doesn't apply to them I wonder if maybe they're less enthused because the baby is so far away and wondering if you'll still see them yearly?

Glad you can call your parents for a boost! I'd need it too

kladd7182

It could be a cultural thing, or maybe MIL just isn't ready for her boy to be a daddy yet? Either way, don't let it get you down. Your family and friends can celebrate more enthusiastically with you.

By the way if it makes you feel any better when I told my mom I was pregnant with my first she told me to get an abortion. I was 24 and married, so that was not the response I anticipated either.

JennyJensing

erysapplepie said:

My husband is native american and his parents had little to no reaction and when I asked them about it they said they are superstitious about miscarriages! They promised there will be a big pow wow to celebrate the birth:) so yeah. Its most likely cultural.

This is so interesting!

barbiedoll1192

I'm very sorry at the non-chalant response from your in-laws, I hate to say I wish that was the reaction we had got... Our anmouncment literally turned into world war III with my "in-laws" with what is their first grandbaby (fyi we are 22 and 23). Thank God for my supportive family an it sounds like that your family is supportive, count your blessings and I'm sure the in-laws will come around!

YakiraAriella

We basically got the same result. However, my IL's aren't exactly the jump for joy and excitement type of family so we prepared ourselves for little to no reaction. His grandparents were basically like, 'that's nice'. I'm so used to it now so it didn't bother me too much.

Hopefully with time they realize what a blessing you two have been given and how amazing a baby will be for all of your family. chin up!

Smark1129

We announced ours over thanksgiving - 2nd dinner in 3 years with just our 2 families. MIL reacted with giving her daughter a high give because "she was right" but continued to complain and literally cry because we didn't invite another close family to dinner. Completely ruined it with her selfishness instead of celebrating the good news as our 2 families really really become one. I totally get it.

charliepepper

@LukyDuky7‌ nope, still on vacation and no mention of baby! Totally weird--Chinese ppl are usually crazy abt babies, plus they previously mentioned wanting grand kids. It's made it kind of awkward for me, since it feels like the elephant in the room. We tried to bring up their visit when the baby is born--they informed us that they don't plan on coming until he's several months old. They want to avoid the "fuss" surrounding a newborn and stated that they aren't really interested in helping w newborn care. Super.

WhiteSun

Ugh that is weird. I have a lot of Chinese family clients And they are super in love with babies and spend a lot of time with them. Very odd. Fx that they surprise you down the road once you're showing or when the baby comes.

firsttimemommy0715

Sorry to hear about that. It's always disappointing to get a not so good reaction when you deliver wonderful news maybe as time passes they will get more excited!

paradebegone

Okay, that IS weird because in Chinese culture, after the baby is born, the mother isn't supposed to do a dang thing. No shower or cleaning. And family comes and takes over all the cooking, cleaning, etc for like a month. And there's only certain foods you're supposed to eat. Right? I mean, I think that's impossible for many to actually do these days but traditionally speaking, I think that's how it goes.

lindsaypkelly

Is it possible you told another family member who could have let it slip and so your in laws are just upset they didn't know sooner? I've seen this happen before.

mrsg27

I hate to even guess this, but is it possible your IL don't like you? I only ask bc my ex's mother used to make comments about how she wanted grandchildren so bad, but when we went to some military shop (ex was army) and we saw the cute uniforms for babies, I mentioned how cute it would look when we have a baby. Her reaction was upset and NEVER brought up babies again. Hope this doesn't sound or end up to be you.

Marlee8

When we got pregnant with our first my in laws were both upset that we didn't wait longer - eventhough we were 26 and had been married for a year already!!
Then with our second they didn't understand why we had them so close - which wasn't even close!! 2.5 yrs apart!!
Now with this one we called each of them seperately because they weren't both home and they BOTH asked "oh was this planned".
Like HELLO.....could you for once just say "yay congratulations!!!" ??????

My in laws and I don't really get along though. They try to control things still since my husband is their only child and I am not ok with that!!

Marlee8

But as the mother of two boys and most likely a third boy on the way am
I going to be that mil??? How does that happen???

rubies4all

That's really weird, I'm sorry that happened to you. we saw both families around thanksgiving for our sons birthday and wanted to tell them all in person so we did even though it was early. My parents were so excited, my MIL was like oh you haven't been to the doctor yet so you don't really know. It really sucks when others aren't excited because you are so excited. Good luck with the rest of your vacation.