Car Seat Safety WWYD?

CalinAZ

Over the holidays, we were lucky enough to spend it with my BIL and SIL, who have twins. They're 18  months, but were micro-premies born at 24 weeks, so are still in infant carseats. When DH was helping to put them in the carseats, he asked about where their strap was to tighten them in, and BIL replied that they don't need to use that. I helped put my nephew in the carseat as they were leaving, and saw how super loose it was. I was able to get the tightening strap from under the cover, untwist the straps and get him strapped in correctly, but my niece (put in by SIL) had super loose and twisted straps. I know I should have said something in the moment, but I wasn't sure how to say it. 

So, help please! How can I let my BIL/SIL know that they aren't securing their kids in correctly without sounding like a jerk? They have gone through so much with their twins (the little girl has had at least 14 surgeries with more on the horizon and still has a trach tube and a g-tube for feeding) and I am super worried about offending them by seeming like a "know it all." BUT, obviously the safety of the kiddos is the #1 priority. It doesn't help that MIL thinks carseat straps shouldn't be tight, so that it won't hurt the baby or, for a boy, his little "member", something we've argued about countless times, and something she's probably talked about with BIL/SIL. How can I (or DH) breach this without offending them and messing up our relationship?

Thank you!

deidremaria

I'm with Vinny. After seeing that "I wish someone Told Me" article I plan to never be passive aggressive about this kinda thing. Let them know you're truly only telling them because you love them and then tell them the correct way it should be done. If you know how it should be talk them through it, provide them with the article and if you don't know how it should be let them know that there are people out there who can help

Jessimax

People are pretty ridiculous about car seat safety. The battle with my parents has already has already started about switching the baby around. Also, I've been feeling guilty that I only bought a booster for my almost 5 year old instead of yet another 5 point harness (he is still in a 5 point in our main vehicle but the baby got the other 5 point) found out just before Christmas though he is the only kid in his class still in a 5 point, despite the fact that he is the biggest. Good thing kids this age don't compare notes. Convinience before safety.

chichi589

Honestly before I became a parent I had no idea how straps should go, layers of clothes vs coats, etc. maybe they just were so busy with the babies survival they didn't have the focus to research car seat safety like we did. I would tell them in a way that shows how much you love the kids. You don't have to say do this because I said so. I would approach it that you know they are great parents and you are in love with your niece and nephew and your just concerned from everything you learned. Even if you did know before you had Evan I would just pretend you didn't. Just be like I know you've had so much on your plate here's the research I did and what I learned. I think as long as you don't act like a know it all you'll be ok and you could be saving those babies lives.

Rrrrrachel

Car seat stuff is so hard because people never ever take it well. They just don't. But for a niece or nephew I would probably try and suck it up.

dmosquera4

This are all very good suggestions! If you have a good relationship with your SIL AND BIL they will understand, yes they might get mad for a little bit, but at the end they will see you were just concerned about their safety...
You could always get a white lie In there and say omg one of my friends got into a fender bender and was so lucky the baby was tight in their seat because you never know when it can happen the cop also checked them after the accident and blah blah blah you just bs.

Sometimes when you tell " stories" like that it kind of sinks in a little bit more for other people to know that something can "actually happen"

Mustardseed2007

tlp2558 said:

I must be a jerk cause I would just come right out and say it. Or in the moment I would have been all "oh here's the strap! Let's get you good and tight in there buddy!"

tlp2558 said:

I must be a jerk cause I would just come right out and say it. Or in the moment I would have been all "oh here's the strap! Let's get you good and tight in there buddy!"

To me in the moment like this is the least offensive way to go actually. Now if you send them an article it sounds like you've been thinking about how thy are dopes who don't know how to use their car seat.