Another Intro--Sad about losing something I wasn't even trying for

MandyMost · January 2015

Hi all,

So I got married in early November and got pregnant on the honeymoon. We had no intention of getting pregnant that soon (but were also figuring, we're married now and both in our 30's, so no harm done if we do). We were shocked and panicked, but also happy. We found out on Christmas Eve via ultrasound that it was not viable and I had miscarried, and I had a D&C the day after Christmas as I did not think I could handle continuing to carry for maybe weeks before it happened on its own.

It feels so weird being sad for something I never had, and wasn't even planning on! But I am sad. And I'm so scared about what will happen next time we try, even though the doctors say that there is nothing wrong with either of us and it was just chance.

Just looking for someplace to share. We can't start trying for a couple months, according to my doctor. I hope it will be as easy to get pregnant.

flyoffeve · January 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through, with my first loss we were not looking or ready to be pregnant. I was very upset. Make sure to talk to your husband and see if you are truly ready for this once you are cleared by your dr to try again. I waited 8 years to decide we were ready, but my first loss was in my 20s, so I know your situation is different.

EIsieMae · January 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

MandyMost · January 2015

We had planned to start trying in 2015 (as early as the Spring), so we were really only a few months "ahead of schedule" with the unexpected pregnancy and then the loss. But we were still putting away wedding gifts and writing thank you notes, and not ready to start fixing up our house for a baby!

I keep telling myself that the good thing that has come out of this is that now I KNOW I want a baby, and I'm ready. He's a few years older than me and very ready as well, and I think he always knew he wanted a baby. It was me that had to come around.

He's been great and very supportive, but there's only so much he can do. I'm trying to be extra healthy for the next couple months before we can officially try again, and get back to feeling like myself. We might even go on a little mini-vacation.

VaBarnet · January 2015

Sorry for your loss and welcome. Hugs

LittleDucky · January 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that whatever you are feeling is a normal way to feel and that you might feel differently at different times. Regardless of whether you planned this pregnancy or not, you have suffered a loss and it is perfectly normal to feel sad about that. I am sorry you had to seek out this board, but I am glad you found it.

Kalidawn523 · January 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had planned and been trying for both my pregnancies, but that does not change the sense of loss you feel when you loose something- planned for or not. Welcome to this group and I hope you are able to find some peace and healing.

lcwed · January 2015

I'm sorry for your losses. Welcome to the board.

CC1017 · January 2015

I'm sorry for your loss. Just because you weren't planning to get pregnant doesnt make you love your baby less. It's normal to feel sad and upset. Welcome to the board.

Nikolie93 · January 2015

I'm sorry off your loss but welcome to the board.

It's normal to feel the way you are, just give yourself enough time to heal mentally (and physically of course). *hug*

jordangoodnight · January 2015

Im so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

NOBB14 · January 2015

So sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

mamadeux19 · January 2015

So sorry for your loss. I got married in November and miscarried in December as well. I know it's hard to start off this way when you should be celebrating one of the happiest times of your life.