July 2015 Moms

Scheduling???

mhuang1mhuang1 member
edited January 2015 in July 2015 Moms
As a FTM I really want to make sure I get my kids on a set schedule early for behavioral reasons (generally better behavior, bed time issues, etc).

So here begs the question, how do y'all do it?

What age do you start enforcing bed time and nap time?

General consensus on when to ditch nap time?

How'd you do it?

How long does it generally take?

Commentary (besides every child is different)?

Re: Scheduling???

  • Bed times and nap times change constantly. What we kept the same were the bed time and nap time routines. That way DD always knew that sleepy time was coming. For the most part that worked for us but DD is and has always been a very easy going child. For bed time we would always do bath, book, bed. For nap time it was just book and then bed.

    Ditching naps is very dependent on your child. DD gave up naps around 3. She probably would have gone longer than that if her half-day preschool program hadn't have interfered with it.
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  • DS was in the NICU for 5 days where they had him on a schedule of eating every 3 hours, so I stuck with that when we got home. For the first at least 6w or so they totally dictate the schedule, and you need to let them. I think it wasn't til at least 2 months that he had some type of a nap schedule, which consisted more of how long he was awake between naps than what time he napped.

    I think by 3 months he was on a good schedule of 3 naps a day, which lasted until maybe 6 months when he dropped to 2 consistent ones. When he dropped to 2 I tried to follow the 2-3-4 rule; first nap 2 hours after waking, second nap was 3 hours after waking from the first, and bedtime was 4 hours after waking from that. He went down to one nap around 11 months, and has just adjusted the time he goes down as he got older. They will tell you when they are ready to consolidate naps by fighting sleeping on some or barely sleeping, and doing it consistently.

    We started a bedtime routine almost immediately though, with bath every other night then every night, lotion and dim lights before bed, etc. His bedtime has always been consistently between 8:00-8:30, but it has ranged from 7:30-9 depending on how tired he is or if we were out.

    DS is going on 20m and still napping so no tips on when to stop. But I plan on doing it as long as he will sleep or at least rest up there. When that time comes I want it to turn into rest time on the couch or my bed watching tv for an hour or so a day to have some time to unwind.
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  • I'd recommend the app total baby. You can track eating, sleeping, diapers etc and as a ftm I felt like things were random but DS had put himself on a schedule so I stuck with it after seeing the patterns. You'll know when your kid is ready to go from 2 naps to 1 and then none. We did bath book then bed for bedtime, and just straight to bed for naps and he did great.
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  • CharlotteVolCharlotteVol member
    edited January 2015
    Let your DC dictate the schedule at the beginning.  Both of my kids were pretty consistent with a pattern around 2 months and we ran with it.  

    It was pretty obvious with my girls when they were ready to drop a nap.  DD1 went to a rest time around 3.  She did fall asleep occasionally, but mostly just "read" or played quietly.  DD2 stopped napping by 2.5, but did start back after she started preschool.  

    This poor third child- we'll see what happens.  With both of my girls in school and after-school activities, I have a feeling DC3 will have to be pretty flexible.  
  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    edited January 2015
    When I first read the question I assumed that it was geared at toddlers or school age kids.

    I am not worried about a schedule, I am just hoping my kid sleeps through the night early on, even though I know that may be wishful thinking
  • LOLOL yeah...a schedule for a baby???

    DS was just trying to figure out days from nights for the first 6-7 weeks. Once we went by his cues we were able to establish a routine of getting him ready for his naps before he got overtired, when the best times to put him down for the night were, and all of that. But trying to make a baby work into what you think they should do....well I want to hear how that goes.

    As he's gotten older and his two naps were short, we were able to consolidate them into one nap. He still takes one nap a day most days. Don't rush dropping naps. Or even thinking about it at 3-4 months pregnant.
                                       
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  • I let my baby dictate the schedule. As he approached one, he fell into a more clear nap schedule with an early bedtime of 7 or 7:30. When he went to 1 nap at 15 months it was very scheduled.

    He still naps, for the most part, at 3.5 but is starting to drop it so it's not every day. 

    Think "routine" not schedule for that first year. 
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  • allieb543allieb543 member
    edited January 2015
    My son had his days and nights mixed up at first so that was fun trying to slowly switch it but really I just rolled with it and he eventually adjusted. Mine took 2 naps a day until 6 months and dropped the 2nd on his own no matter what i tried which is totally not typical!

    On the plus side, he takes a solid 2-3 hour nap starting at 11 am every day. I am fan of keeping to a schedule and I did some sleep training at about 8 months. He's been sttn since then. I'm sure all babies are different. For him, if I switch up his schedule it all falls apart, so we stick to nap times and he goes to bed 6:30-7pm every night. He's an early riser though, 6am every morning. I've tried making his bedtime later but he still gets up at 6am regardless :(

    For sleep training, I read several books and just did what I was comfortable with. (Defininely wouldn't do any sleep trainig until at least 6 months if you even do) He's 15 months now and a great sleeper as long as I stay on his schedule. I'm sure when this new baby comes everything will change!
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  • Yeah for the first 4 months really its all up to reading sleepy and hungry cues and just following your baby. This may accidentally create a schedule but it's flexible and ever changing. Then baby starts consolidating sleep and a schedule is more appropriate. We followed the book "healthy sleep habits, happy child". Basically for 4-6/8 months, wake up by 7, nap at 9, 12, 3:30/4 for a short one, bedtime 2 hours after wake up. Then when they drop the third (will stop taking on their own), bedtime is 3-3.5 hours after second ends. My son dropped his first nap early - 11 months and took a super long nap in the afternoon (2.5-3.5 hours) though most kids keep 2 naps until 15-18 months. Even at 21 months he still sleeps 2.5-3 hours at 12:30/1. It's great! Bedtime is 3-4 hours after he wakes from his nap, depending on how tired he is. He's an early riser (6) so often needs an earlier bedtime (7).

    I definitely believe in a schedule, mostly because my son is not an easy sleeper and needs to be put in his crib to fall asleep. So he is most rested when following a schedule. He is very active so I don't plan on stopping naps until he refuses take them. Even then he will need quiet time in his room in the afternoon (and so will I!!).
  • I think you'll find that its more of a routine than a schedule. DD never wakes up at the same time every day, so a naptime schedule wouldnt work. Our routine, is wake up, change dialer, have breakfast, het dressed, play. Usually about 2-2.5hrs after waking she is ready for a nap. She'll sleep for about a 1-1.5hrs. Wake up, have lunch, play, do an activity... after another 2-2.5 hours she's usually ready for her second nap and sleeps for another hour. Then she's up, ready for a snack and to play while I make dinner. We have dinner, she plays, has a bath and gets ready for bed. Usually in bed around 9pm (sometimes sooner)... Of course theres diaper changes etc in the mix as well. Or if we have errands to run, drs appts, etc.

    I know some parents keep to a strict schedule, but it wouldnt work for us, and I think its a bit overbearing, with the energy and amount of activity they need as they get older. Our routine works, and we have a happy 14mo.

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  • And yeah, it's definifely more of a routine than a schedule. I will say that I tend to be a stickler on nap time now, but that's because hes a total butt for the rest of the day if he doesn't get one. I'm not adamant about he needs to be home at 12 to go down for a nap, but I get annoyed when we get invited to something that starts at 12 or 1.
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  • Here is an overall/general timeline of baby/toddler sleep that you will probably find helpful:
    https://www.thealphaparent.com/2013/01/timeline-of-baby-and-toddler-sleep.html

    And of course, every baby is different and there will be unexpected events that disturb sleep, especially in the first year, such as baby getting teeth, baby getting sick, baby learning how to stand in their crib but not knowing how to lay back down, baby going through separation anxiety, the list goes on. Plus the occasional planned sleep disruption like travel or holidays and special events that you and baby stay up late for.

    As far as how I do it? When it's been a rough night, I hear myself singing "it won't be like this for long" in Darius Rucker's voice and know that I will sleep better eventually.


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  • The first few months I didn't push a schedule and just observed him. He kind of came up with his own schedule and I fine tuned it a bit. He's almost three and still naps and I don't plan to drop it at all. When he's ready to stop napping he will. We went from 2 naps to one around 24 months because he was getting up so early in the mornings because he was napping too much during the day.


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  • I think you're jumping the gun a bit here. The first few months baby makes a schedule and you sort of go along. We were able to get DS to go to sleep around DD's bedtime from the get go but that was luck.

    If you have a routine your kid will likely fall into well and you don't have an issue. A good starting routine is a calming, consistent bedtime routine. Bath, books, swaddle, feed, sleep etc.

    I don't think in the first 6 months of your LOs life a real schedule is necessary.
  • MamamadsMamamads member
    edited January 2015
    We started a routine around 3-4 months I believe and it was done so
    Loosely. This included laying baby down on her own to fall asleep and reading to her before bed. These are routines we still follow and she is 2. She has always been a great sleeper I think partly because we stuck to a schedule and routines and partly who she is. We used the E.A.S.Y method which is what most night nurses and nannies use. It focuses on not giving baby crutches to rely on such as rocking to sleep or feeding to sleep and help them learn sleeping skills. Obviously at first they sleep and eat much more but the book Secrets of a Baby whisperer goes through a lot of stages from what I remember. My daughter is now down to one afternoon nap but for the longest time had a morning and afternoon Nap at around the same time daily. I say look around for methods and find what your comfortable with, I highly recommend reading the secrets of baby whisperer it has helped many families!! Good luck :)

    Eta: it's never to early to start thinking about this, the first few months you definitely can't do anything strict because they are just adjusting to life but it's good to research methods now so you have it down by the time baby is ready for some guidance and you are ready for a more consistent bed and feeding time. You can also
    Google the E.A.S.Y method to see if
    It's something for you, I also live by swaddling until baby can roll over that helped with sleep A TON.. So learn how to swaddle correctly, chances are baby will love it and sleep more soundly!
  • We swaddled DD at 5 wks, put her in her own crib, and never looked back. Now that's not to say she STTN right away, but it wasn't long after that she did. After that point, she had a very strict bedtime of 8pm (with the exception of when she was sick). It's difficult-we had to give things up sometimes in order to do this, but I was very set on structure. Now as an older child, it seems like she very independent as a result. She still likes her consistent nap and bedtimes. There is a trade off though...she has never slept in our bed and won't. You have to decide what's best for you in this respect!
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  • edited January 2015
    The baby makes the schedule. You follow along. Your baby is hungry, you feed it. Sleepy, down for a nap. I bristle intensely at people wanting to put babies on strict schedules, especially newborns. 

    Swaddling is good. Bedtime routines to set apart from naptime is also good. Bath, book, bottle/boob, bed. 
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  • Baby will sets his or her own schedule, and you'll notice a pattern eventually. That is how DDs schedule was formed. Is it exactly what I would have picked? No (she naps 11-1). But if she's happy, I'm happy.
    Think of the first 3-4 months as your 4th trimester. You just have to survive.
     
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  • I didn't mean to try to schedule my newborn, I probably wouldn't attempt that in a million years. I asked more so for preparation purposes for when they are at the point of needing structure and a schedule.

    That being said, all of the advice so far is very helpful and hopefully I'll be able to apply it.
  • Can I just ask this here instead of starting a new thread (although newborn advice from STM+'s might be a useful thread later on)?

    When you all say "cues" what exactly does that mean? Is there a good book/resource on following baby's cues?

    You'll start to notice their signs of being tired. Like when DS was really little he would always put his hand to his ear when he was ready to sleep. In terms of cues for consolidating naps and things, you'll notice they have a harder time falling asleep, or don't stay asleep as long. It can happen on any given day and mean nothing, but when it happens consistently they are probably ready to drop a nap.
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  • mhuang1 said:

    I didn't mean to try to schedule my newborn, I probably wouldn't attempt that in a million years. I asked more so for preparation purposes for when they are at the point of needing structure and a schedule.

    That being said, all of the advice so far is very helpful and hopefully I'll be able to apply it.


    It's definitely good to be looking into now because you can typically start "sleep training" and having something similar to a schedule around 6 months and you definitely won't have the time or energy to research during those first months. I would look into methods recommended and pick one you like, also a routine is always a good thing to start when they are a couple weeks old because it lets them Know what's coming.. Kids and babies thrive off of routine. So try a few routines till you find one that suits your family, Good luck!
  • Now is way too early to be thinking about scheduling and all that stuff. You don't "enforce" nap times. It's just a schedule they fall into. It's is always changing. Once something starts working, your child will change and it won't work anymore. The best advice I have is be flexible, go with the flow and everyone will be happier.
  • We swaddled DD at 5 wks, put her in her own crib, and never looked back. Now that's not to say she STTN right away, but it wasn't long after that she did. After that point, she had a very strict bedtime of 8pm (with the exception of when she was sick). It's difficult-we had to give things up sometimes in order to do this, but I was very set on structure. Now as an older child, it seems like she very independent as a result. She still likes her consistent nap and bedtimes. There is a trade off though...she has never slept in our bed and won't. You have to decide what's best for you in this respect!
    @jennyjensing
    I don't know if you meant that she won't or you all won't let her still, but I used to think the same thing. DD went in her crib at 3 months and always slept there. Until last year, she never slept in our bed one time (she was 4 and a half). This was until we had a thunderstorm one night after she developed an irrational fear of storms. Now she tries to do it all the time. I so thought we were in the clear before that. We have friends and their 8 year old has slept in their bed her entire life. Dad got kicked out about 5 years ago. LOL. I was always so glad we weren't them.

    Still, we don't have it that bad, and I tried to turn the thunderstorm thing around on her. If she loves to sleep in our bed, and only gets to do it when there is a storm, then maybe she will eventually get past being scared of them and start to like them. We just have to be strict on when she gets to do this. That strategy totally worked for me when I was her age, and my mom only went as far as to let me sleep on the floor in her bedroom during storms.

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  • ahsile10ahsile10 member
    edited January 2015
    Can I just ask this here instead of starting a new thread (although newborn advice from STM+'s might be a useful thread later on)?

    When you all say "cues" what exactly does that mean? Is there a good book/resource on following baby's cues?
    @sassiecassieb
    I kind of liked this book.

    I mean, I don't cling on to every word, but it really helped me a lot. It seems most useful for newborns.

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  • allieb543allieb543 member
    edited January 2015

    Can I just ask this here instead of starting a new thread (although newborn advice from STM+'s might be a useful thread later on)?


    When you all say "cues" what exactly does that mean? Is there a good book/resource on following baby's cues?
    You will start to notice your own baby's cues/signs. One of the things I learned that was surprising but definitely holds true is some of the universal signs of getting tired (eye rubbing, yawning) are typically seen after you missed the ideal bedtime or nap time. So you would want to take note and try to start putting them down before you see these signs.

    I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, and The No Cry Sleep Solution. I took a bit of info from each and didn't follow any specifically but they all can give you some insight into sleep patterns, etc.
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  • Now is way too early to be thinking about scheduling and all that stuff. You don't "enforce" nap times. It's just a schedule they fall into. It's is always changing. Once something starts working, your child will change and it won't work anymore. The best advice I have is be flexible, go with the flow and everyone will be happier.

    You do if you ever want to get sleep yourself. The parents who let the kids call the shots and decide "hey I don't need a nap today" are the ones who complain their 23 month old won't sleep through the night. Don't wonder why your child has bad sleep habits if your never set the stage for anything different. Just saying, it's sort of a pet peeve of mine as far as parenting is concerned. I obviously don't care what other people do but it's frustrating when people complain about their child's sleep habits not realizing they are completely in control of them Unless there's an extreme circumstance like illness/colic.
  • My DS refused to actually nap for the first 4ish months of his life. He needed to be held constantly or he would scream bloody murder. He wanted to nurse 20+ times a day, and was always miserable - turns out he had a horrible dairy allergy and that was part of why he was so miserable. We let him doze off and on when he wanted, kept him with us, and he followed our schedule since it was easy enough to carry him around while he slept or have him on the boob while I lounged/slept/did whatever I wanted to do.

    When he hit 4ish months we moved his bedtime to 6:30 and he had two scheduled naps at 9am and 1pm. He dropped to one nap right at his first birthday and is still going strong. Now that he's 22m and our work schedules vary, he goes to bed between 7-8:30 and has one nap whenever he wants it/whatever works with our plans for the day. We're all about flexibility now since he can tell/show us what he needs and when. He's always been an awful sleeper and I don't think a strict routine would help (when we did a strict routine it wasn't any better so now we go with the flow).
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  • Trying to have a schedule will leave you frustrated. Seriously. Just go with the flow, and everyone is happier. They will set their own schedule.
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