No CIO Yet For My Baby!

hidingangel82

Why is everyone on such a hurry to have babies grow up and be independent? I posted back about 5 weeks ago that MH was trying to have Noob CIO at night. The only way I was able to put a stop to it was to because the nighttime parent and move back to the nursery with the baby. We bedshare (with the safety precautions recommended in Sweet Sleep by LLLI), and our breastfeeding, sleep, and his overall demeanor has improved so much. Now that he is 8 weeks today, husband is back on me about when he can start CIO training. Today's logic? "You can't make him stay a baby." I'm aware of that. But he IS a baby - still a newborn! If nothing else, the APA recommends room sharing for 6 months!
I'm going to check out the No Cry Sleep Solution from the library, and hope that maybe we can find a happy medium.
Sigh. I'm just sad that here we're only 8 weeks and already the world wants lo to grow up

Carebella

Good for you for sticking to your guns. I'm just sorry your DH isn't on the same page. I'll be hoping you can find a solution that isn't CIO that your DH can get on board with. And I'm all for LO taking his dear sweet time getting older! Babies need to grow/age at their own rate and build a good solid foundation.

MrsAdventure

Bah! DH has been trying the same crap with me has been since Pips was about a month old.

Not so much about sleeping. Just when she's fussy and he's not sure why,. If she's got a full tummy and a dry diaper, he can't undestand what she's fussing about. He struggles with the fact that if she's got an upset tummy, she's not able to just lay there quietly until she feels better. And it also upsets him that he can't just fix her problems because that's in his nature, to fix and solve problems. Specifically, that's where his self worth lies, in his ability to fix things. We bickered back and forth until I finally told him that CIO wasn't an option right now, and if he wanted to discuss it further, he was welcome to grow a uterus and have our next LO himself. He hasn't brought it up in a week, lol.

All I can say is keep sticking with what you want. Good luck!

HappyToBeHere

I agree with @Wolkie‌ and @AmyG*‌. I wouldn't let LO CIO yet at all. They need us and need to know we will be there for them when they need us.

soulcupcake

I'm not a fan of CIO at any stage during infancy, but <6 months... no, no, no. It's more about what's convenient for the parents versus what is developmentally and physiologically sound and healthy for the baby. Putting baby on a schedule via sleep training to get him/her to conform to the parents' routine ignores pretty fundamental elements of child development and psychology.

silverwings72

Hell. No. This is not cool. Send him the links to read, tell him to show you the research that proves CIO is acceptable. Like @bethas‌ said, get your Mama Bear out and stand your ground.

Also, I like @MrsAdventure‌s answer. Tell him to grow his own uterus lol

Cadg0986

Lurking from D'14, (LO was born 12/3 so im close ). There was a post in our group that I posted this quote from and I feel like it can relate to you and potentially be helpful:

"Some parents may be told that babies can be spoiled if mom and dad respond too quickly. In fact research shows that responding promptly to baby's signals in the early months results in a more confident, independent child. Holding, rocking or feeding your baby as often as needed is exactly the right approach, and confirmed by the American Academy of Pediatrics. "


So to me this says that it's better to not let them CIO while so young! Throw an AAP guideline at him!

Edit: MOTN typo

Maelara

https://www.troublesometots.com/

Give him this webpage and show him the evidence. 4-6 months at the earliest, with 6 month being the recommendation.

MrsAdventure

Grr! I spoke to soon, DH brought it up again last night 8-| I am so glad OP posted this, now to follow that link! DH will always respond well if I come to him with provable facts, thankfully!