The greatest lesson I've learned...

AMMR84

'Tis the season for introspection! In that spirit, please share the biggest lesson you've learned while TTC.

I'm a total newbie to this. In several months of research and 1 month of charting, my biggest lesson has been: The female body is one complex organism, y'all. I always considered myself a pretty savvy, empowered lady, but I knew nothing about CM, temp shifts or fertility windows. I felt like Charlotte in that SATC episode with the hand-mirror.

Thanks in advance for sharing your lessons learned! Happy New Year and good luck in 2015! 

Edit: To clarify - this can be a lesson related to biology, emotions, relationships, etc, etc. 

longhornwino0907

Like you, this year has been eye-opening as far as how complex the female body is! I had no clue. I knew I had a period, I knew about ovulation, but not CM, fertile windows, charting, any of that! So glad I finally do, thanks to TB!

There are still some TTC lessons I need to learn, though. Along the lines of another ongoing thread, the jealousy is hard for me to deal with. Between Thanksgiving and, say, the second week of December, I think five or six friends announced their pregnancies on Facebook. And while I was elated for them, I was devastated for us. So much so that I had to leave Facebook. I couldn't handle it. And like another bumpie's SO, my H reminded me that their being pregnant in no way interfered with or prevented us from getting pregnant. But I'm definitely with a lot of others and stuck in that jealous but not judgmental phase. My TTC resolution for 2015 is to learn to constructively deal with that jealousy and, eventually, stop it.

GypsySoul1112

Hobbies and distractions are important. I have to admit that I am very anxious and obsessive person by nature, and the TTC process consumes me many days. I read a lot, come on TB, stare at my FF chart, and work in the RE field. It is very hard for me to take a step back and quit worrying that this is still not happening for me, even though there are many TTC for much longer than I with greater complications. I find that getting back into exercise (running) and reading for pleasure not just work, is helping me a lot.

ETA added words

teambrink

As a newbie, my biggest lesson has been in the complex simplicity of our bodies. There is so much going on, yet it all became so clear after reading TCOYF. I swear they need to distribute that book as soon as a girl gets her period. They should put a complete stop to the lessons learned in junior high. There is no reason for me to be 31 and just learning about temping, charting, etc. 

AMMR84

GypsySoul1112 said:

Hobbies and distractions are important. I have to admit that I am very anxious and obsessive person by nature, and the TTC process consumes me many days. I read a lot, come on TB, stare at my FF chart, and work in the RE field. It is very hard for me to take a step back and quit worrying that this is still not happening for me, even though there are many TTC for much longer than I with greater complications. I find that getting back into exercise (running) and reading for pleasure not just work, is helping me a lot.

ETA added words

So important! I can already feel myself being sucked into the vortex of FF, TB, and secret pinterest-ing. Trying to be attentive without sliding off the deep end will be a challenge for me. Focusing on health and leisure are good distractions!

teenybenoit

I had no idea how scientific making a baby is. We have TTC for about 3 years, between 2 mc, cervical cancer lesions that needed surgery, being diagnosed as diabetic and having been diagnosed with lichen sclerosis it has been incredibly trying. I also realized my DH is my rock. And I fall more in love and am more in awe of him every day (sorry not sorry for being mushy) not losing hope and definitely having distractions help as this can become quite obsessive.

KH7337

teambrink said:

As a newbie, my biggest lesson has been in the complex simplicity of our bodies. There is so much going on, yet it all became so clear after reading TCOYF. I swear they need to distribute that book as soon as a girl gets her period. They should put a complete stop to the lessons learned in junior high. There is no reason for me to be 31 and just learning about temping, charting, etc. 

I second this! 

With my DS my DH and I tried for 11 months and the first month I started charting we got pregnant, Thank God : ) 

This time around I am learning that after BF'ing for 12 1/2 months there is no regularity for me and I'm hoping to learn how long it takes me to become more (regular). Still learning about this one. 

saveourship

DaisyCat11 said:

....is just to love, and be loved in return!


Oh, are we note quoting Moulin Rouge in here? Don't mind me.

This was my first thought as well. God, I love that movie.

SunShineWoman

Brewgirl1980 said:

TTC can be a complete mind fuck.

I second this!

MrsEmuTavi

I learned that my husband is more amazing that I realized. He has been my rock and support over the past 5 months. I thought in L&D he would be a pain in my ass and in reality without him I don't know what I would have done. I realized that when the going gets tough you realize who your real friends are. I also realized that you all are an awesome group of really supportive women.

Edit: Let me add that I also learned that being out of the 1st trimester means nothing as far as that "I'm in the clear" mentality.

quiltygirl23

I am learning patience. It's a hard lesson, but necessary.

ramaholic

DovahFel said:

I learned to never think "It'll never happen to me."

I also learned that people, especially close friends and family, don't really mean "I'm here for you no matter what."  A more accurate phrase is "I'm here for you until you actually become an inconvenience...then I'll do what I can to make it worse for you."

I'm NOT having a great 2014.  I'm hoping 2015 is magically better.

*HUGS THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU DOVAH*

Fuck your idiotic and selfish bullshit friends.  I mean it when I say I'm here for you no.matter.what.  Anytime, lady.

MrsEmuTavi

DovahFel said:

I learned to never think "It'll never happen to me."

I also learned that people, especially close friends and family, don't really mean "I'm here for you no matter what."  A more accurate phrase is "I'm here for you until you actually become an inconvenience...then I'll do what I can to make it worse for you."

I'm NOT having a great 2014.  I'm hoping 2015 is magically better.

Hugs! I'm right there with you on all of it. Our 2015 will be MUCH better than 2014.

ramaholic

Doubleposting because damnit, I forgot to tag and you need to see that. @dovahfel ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Peaseblossom55

I'm learning that TTC is going to be a lot harder than I ever expected..

ramaholic

DovahFel said:

Back at you Rama.  I miss you lately!! *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs*

@DovahFel I miss you, too!  I s2g I'm coming back someday, when shit stops happening to me all the time.

PB&J714

I, like many of us, have learned so much about my body and cycles. I still have a lot to learn, but I'm so thankful for the knowledge I've gained from you ladies.

I also learned that my husband is awesome. He keeps me real and spoils me at the same time. He'll be such a good father someday.

teenybenoit

@DovahFel‌ hugs. I hope 2015 is better too.

GypsySoul1112

DovahFel said:

I learned to never think "It'll never happen to me."

I also learned that people, especially close friends and family, don't really mean "I'm here for you no matter what."  A more accurate phrase is "I'm here for you until you actually become an inconvenience...then I'll do what I can to make it worse for you."

I'm NOT having a great 2014.  I'm hoping 2015 is magically better.

Hugs @DovahFel, 2014 was definitely not one of my better years as well. I'll be thinking and praying that this year brings you peace and many joyful moments with those who love you unconditionally!

xyzabqsmvb53

I learned that as adolescents we were given the strong and clear sex-ed message: you can get pregnant at any time that you have unprotected sex.

That turns out to be a really tough lesson to "unlearn" in the sense of it doesn't mean something is weird or wrong with you if you don't become pregnant in a snap. 

Also the journey is WIIIIIDELY misunderstood by those not in it. In a bad bad way.

AlpieS

I second learning patience, the hard way... I have also learned the hard way that you can't blindly follow the advice of someone just because they have an MD behind their name. TTC has taught me to ask questions and be my own advocate. I wish I would have grown a set of lady balls a long time ago.

AMMR84

Thanks so much for sharing, y'all! Happy New Year - wishing everyone a healthy, happy, productive (and patient) 2015!

vmcarbone

Life's not fair and I can't compare my journey to others. As much as it sucks to watch other people conceive so quickly (some that probably shouldn't even be having kids...) I need to worry *only* about us.

lvlyldybmp

That patience is the most valuable virtue...
That some people get KU in a second, while others take longer... it doesn't mean you're broken, it means you'll get to experience/grow/learn more on your journey...
That a kind, compassionate husband is the greatest gift from God.

renbee

I've learned that there are some things that are out of my control, and I can't plan my life out perfectly like I might want to. I'm a very type-A person and his was a hard lesson for me to learn.

I came into this a year and a half ago thinking I'd get pregnant right away and have a perfect summer due date (DH is a teacher) and I never thought about the possibility of a loss. A PCOS diagnosis, a miscarriage, a new job, and many month later, I learned that life is unpredictable and sometimes you just have to see where it takes you.

wallflwr926

I've learned every myth you hear about getting pregnant is so not true.
I've also learned that just because you stop getting terrible period cramps doesn't mean you won't develop horrendous midcycle cramping from cysts.
Evil trickery done by my ovaries to me.

Here's hoping for no cramps and lots of happiness in 2015.

Peaseblossom55

dtheer13 said:

Peaseblossom55 said:

I'm learning that TTC is going to be a lot harder than I ever expected..

@peaseblossom55 I know exactly what you mean. When I got pregnant with DD, I went off of my birth control and 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I assumed that it would be just as easy this time around. Not so much. I am learning more about my body etc because of it though, so its not all bad. 

Yea I'd hope my cycle would be "normal" after BCP but it's going to take some patient and time I guess... Sometimes I get frustrated about it and other times it doesn't bother me at all.