I might kill DH....vent — The Bump
August 2014 Moms

I might kill DH....vent

So DH and I had a really great honest conversation yesterday about all of the things in our life that aren't getting done since LO got here. Especially house projects and the fact that we have way more clutter...just things like laundry sitting around etc. It is really bothering him and he suggested a couple strategies for working together to stay better on top of a few things.

I am off this week. ..so to show him I took him seriously I sent LO to daycare this afternoon anyway and then busted my ass for 3 hours. The whole house basically got picked up really well except the office. And the laundry is about caught up too. I felt so good.

After dinner he looked at me in all seriousness and said....you said you were cleaning all afternoon. ..where did you clean? I was speechless

This is our biggest marriage issue...I don't do things the way he likes them or when he likes them etc. And his love language is definitely things being done for him. So I purposefully tried hard.

I told him I quit ....to which he laughed. I cleaned up from dinner and left the house and told him I needed to do an errand. He knows I am mad because I never do this. I know it was super passive aggressive but I was about to lose it...which I didn't want to do in front of LO. I need to talk to him about this but I need to calm down.

Ugh...thanks for letting me vent!

Re: I might kill DH....vent

  • DH does this to me...so in return I tell him if he doesn't like how i cleaned then he can do it on top of working his 2 jobs and I stop cleaning. He gets the hint and really tries to notice when I've picked up, then he thanks me. It's taken him a long time to realize that Iam not perfect at cleaning but I do try and when he'd tell me "you did the dishes...buuutttt...you left the pans in the sink and didn't wash the counters" it'd frustraite and discourage me.
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
  • I'm sorry. Men are dicks.
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  • I could have written this, I absolutely know your struggle. Tbh, I prob would have done the same in your situation too. A little recognition, a pat on the back, is all that's really needed but completely dismissing you is super dickish.
  • I'm on team do-your-own-damn-cleaning if your way isn't good enough for him. I'm sorry he said that and hope you feel better after taking a break.
  • Men Suck!  DH and I have not been getting along well over the holiday break either, hope y'all can make up soon!

    Only suggestion I have is leave him a "honey do" list, I do this and #1 it makes me feel good to write things down that DH needs to accomplish (because I feel like I'm the one who does 90% of the house/baby "work" most of the time) and #2 DH actually prefers a list to my nagging or bitching

  • How frustrating!! It sounds like you worked really hard and your efforts were completely dismissed. I hope that you guys can figure out something with the house projects that works for both of you!
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