breast feeding decision

tif5596

I searched and only found older discussions kind of in the same area as what I'm asking. I came late to TB because I didn't find out I was expecting until I was 16 weeks. It's taken me a while to get pregnant and I always told myself I didn't want to BF if I did have a child. However, I have tons of people telling me It's best for the baby. I'm 17 weeks away from her arrival and still haven't made up my mind if I want to or not. Any advice? Is anyone not planning on BFing? If so, why not? If I decide not to what type of bottles do I buy? This is the only thing I'm up in the air about and it's driving me nuts!

jamiesc58

I chose to BF after researching a lot because the benefits are amazing. I feel that it also creates an even stronger bond between myself and the baby. Good luck in making your decision, in the end it only matters that you are taking good care of LO.

alexeleni

I am planning on breast feeding but I was told to register for two types of bottles--babies tend to like one or another and you just test out until you find one. But if you get a ton now, you'll end up returning a lot of them?

jszy10

I have been back and forth with this subject for as long as I can remember.  I'm not one of those people who is 'passionate' about BF, and have never really felt that whole 'I know I'll BF' feeling.  I had a friend tell me she didn't BF from the start because she could never get past the feeling that her breasts were sexual...and to be honest, I think I might slightly feel that way too?

I have tried to do a lot of research on exclusive pumping and realize that it is a big commitment and a lot of work, as is BF, and I've decided that I'm at least going to TRY BF and pumping at the hospital and do what I can with what I'm comfortable with.

PP is right that formula IS expensive, so it is a nice argument to make that you can feed for free.

It does ultimately come down to personal preference, but maybe if you are on the fence like me you could just try and see how it goes/how you feel!?  I was SO stressed about this in the first few months of my pregnancy, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do, and then I realized that whatever happens will happen, and I'm just going to need to try things out and see what works!

Hope that helps!!  GL!

missab

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alexeleni said:

I am planning on breast feeding but I was told to register for two types of bottles--babies tend to like one or another and you just test out until you find one. But if you get a ton now, you'll end up returning a lot of them?

I was told something similar but slightly different @alexeleni‌ - the BBB consultant who walked us through suggested we pick a brand and register for a set, but then separately register for one bottle so baby could try it without opening the entire gift set. Seemed like a decent idea. I originally registered for the Born Free glass bottles (Plastics freak me out) but a friend talked me into the plastic Dr. Brown's (bpa free at least) for the same reasons PPs have stated.

littlemissluc

FTM here too and I've always thought about breastfeeding as the most natural and healthy way of feeding and nourishing your child. I pray every day that I will be able to breastfeed my baby girl even for a little while because I think it is overall an amazing experience and even though it isn't easy and it takes a lot of patience I really believe it's worth it. The benefits are incredible. It is always fresh, warm and filled with so many good stuff that can not be produced in a lab. I was a formula baby because my mom really couldn't breastfeed and I was and still am perfectly healthy so if you choose not to breastfeed, you'll have enough options. It is after all your personal choice but please take your time and really educate yourself well before making this decision. Good luck!
As for bottles, after doing my own little research, I chose the tommie tippie closer to nature line. They have this starter set which includes all that you could possibly need to bottle feed your baby so check them out. There are tons of similar brands out there that have amazing quality and design bottles, I'm sure you'll find something that'll work for you!

tif5596

I think I am going to try it while in the hospital. I don't have much support from family because we all were formula fed. I didn't realize there were so many kinds of bottles and nipples. Its overwhelming! I don't even know where to start. I registered for one of the starter kits but didn't think about her not liking whatever I picked out. I really like the idea of picking out a few individual bottles in case she doesn't like one. Thank you ladies.

meremint

I had a hard time deciding to, but I've decided to at least try breastfeeding. (It kinda freaks me out, not gonna lie!)  I'll have to pump eventually as well because I'll be going back to work in August. I figure if it doesn't work out at least I won't regret that I tried.

I registered for the Munchkin LATCH bottles. The choices are overwhelming! All I can recommend is that you research for the ones that you think might work best for you!

Suesse2009

tif5596 said:

I think I am going to try it while in the hospital. I don't have much support from family because we all were formula fed. I didn't realize there were so many kinds of bottles and nipples. Its overwhelming! I don't even know where to start. I registered for one of the starter kits but didn't think about her not liking whatever I picked out. I really like the idea of picking out a few individual bottles in case she doesn't like one. Thank you ladies.

If you don't have much support I suggest finding a la leche league group in your area or some other support group. Here we have baby cafés but I'm not sure if they are a national group or not. You can attend meetings while you are pregnant so you can get to know the women so you may feel more comfortable calling them for support once baby is here.

ebardouche

This book is amazing and helped me clear up any questions/reservations I had about breastfeeding if you're leaning that direction:) I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it without a great support system and this book I know will be a great resource once baby is here. I've started going to la leche league meetings too. You could always check one out in your area and see how it feels to you!

mhickey426

It definitely isn't easy to do especially when they are eating every 2 hours but it is worth it. I made it to about 3 months before I had to supplement with formula with my dd. It is good for them, it is a nice way to bond, it makes night feeding super easy and saves a ton of money. It defintily isn't for everyone. Pumping at work was veryyy difficult for me which added to me needing to supplement with formula. There are great formulas out there. I say give BFing a try and see how it goes for you. Only you can make the decision about this since you are the one that is doing it.

Scarlettg

I'm with PP's who have said to give it a try.  That's my plan- I'm going to try it, but if it doesn't work out I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  Formula-fed babies are still healthy babies, and that's the goal, so if you end up not breastfeeding I don't think there's any reason for others to judge.  However, there are definite benefits to breastfeeding (cost being one of them!) so it's definitely worth a try.

somewheresublime86

I can so relate to feeling overwhelmed. I'm planning to breastfeed, but would like DH to be able to give baby a bottle once a day or so, so we can each (hopefully) get a few hours of sleep by splitting the night shift. Getting a bit of extra sleep will really help keep my anxiety in check.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to work this. The reading I've done has me all confused about nipple confusion, and the right time to begin supplementing. I'm hoping our breast feeding class in February will help. Paging @saltbox40‌ - consider this your bat signal!

tif5596

I tried to find Latest Leche League in my area and the closest one to me is over an hour away. I will find that book though! Thank you!

somewheresublime86

MOtownMama said:

somewheresublime86 said:

I can so relate to feeling overwhelmed. I'm planning to breastfeed, but would like DH to be able to give baby a bottle once a day or so, so we can each (hopefully) get a few hours of sleep by splitting the night shift. Getting a bit of extra sleep will really help keep my anxiety in check.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to work this. The reading I've done has me all confused about nipple confusion, and the right time to begin supplementing. I'm hoping our breast feeding class in February will help. Paging @saltbox40‌ - consider this your bat signal!

In the book "What to Expect In the First Year", it suggest waiting three weeks before giving the baby a bottle. This will help establish a firm grasp on latching and, hopefully, avoid nipple confusion. The book also suggest giving a bottle before six weeks. Otherwise, the baby might be too set in his/her ways to accept something different.

Thanks! I opened it and felt so overwhelmed by what I didn't know after about ten pages that it has been sitting on the shelf since. I'll have to give it another attempt.

originalpenguin

There are great resources for breastfeeding, like pp's have mentioned- kellymom.com is great, too. In addition to the benefits for baby, the hormones released from bf help stabilize your moods, improve your sleep and soften the blow of the baby blues. Plus, for most women, it really helps burn the baby weight.
Do some reading so you feel more prepared. It's tough in the beginning, and pretty crucial to establish a good supply from the outset. But once you get the hang of it, it's very rewarding.

karboss

I want to try, however, I had breast surgery in 1997 and it may not be possible. I've already reached out to a lactation consultant at the recommendation of a post on TB. I'm requesting my medical records from the doctor who completed the surgery and we are going to go from there. It is something I really want to do but I've also promised myself that I will NOT beat myself up about it. If it cannot be done then there are other completely healthy options out there for my child. I did register for Dr. Brown's at the recommendation of my sister who used them with all 3 of her LOs. They help to reduce gas even though they are a PITA to clean. I have a couple single bottles for backup in case these don't work out. I figure I'll be either formula or exclusively BFing for a bit so I won't worry about a pump and accessories until I need them. I have researched and a hospital grade pump is available through my insurance. I'll pick up a can of formula to have on hand, the bottles and my breasts and I would be good until we figure it out together.

OliveMom3

I know not all women's experience is or will be similar to mine, in fact I feel like the oddball in the room saying this, but breastfeeding my son came incredibly naturally to us and short of a little nipple pain at the beginning, we haven't had any problems whatsoever. For the nipple pain, someone once told me to count to ten, if it still hurts after that then have the baby relatch. I had no bleeding, cracked nipples, I lost all the baby weight within 3 months plus an additional 5 lbs, the hormones that get released while BFing honestly calmed me down and were incredibly relaxing, on top of all the other health, financial and convenience reasons. I never felt lik it was a huge, overbearing commitment, it just was what it was, I fed my kid.
I sometimes get the impression that people put so much pressure on themselves one way or another but just remind yourself that you will feed your baby no matter what. Try to take the pressure off yourself by being gentle on yourself whatever you end up doing. I'm a fan of everyone at least trying, but if it's not for them, it's not for them.
Know, though, that it can come naturally to some. It's not always a crazy struggle to bf.
I hope you can be at ease with whatever you decide.

originalpenguin

saltbox40 said:

somewheresublime86 said:

I can so relate to feeling overwhelmed. I'm planning to breastfeed, but would like DH to be able to give baby a bottle once a day or so, so we can each (hopefully) get a few hours of sleep by splitting the night shift. Getting a bit of extra sleep will really help keep my anxiety in check.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to work this. The reading I've done has me all confused about nipple confusion, and the right time to begin supplementing. I'm hoping our breast feeding class in February will help. Paging @saltbox40‌ - consider this your bat signal!

I would wait four weeks before introducing a bottle of expressed breast milk. Whenever you supplement with formula, it will affect your supply, if you do not empty your breasts with a pump at that time. It's a supply/demand system.

A great way for you to get sleep is to consider bringing baby to into bed with you. You will all sleep more.

Learning the side-lying bf position was easy and awesome. You can rest and nap with your baby as well as handle night feedings without fully waking up. Bf is designed to make you feel relaxed and sleepy, so read up on safe bed-sharing practices and be open to doing whatever gets everyone the most sleep.

SuperFudge00

Karrunrun said:

I want to try, however, I had breast surgery in 1997 and it may not be possible. I've already reached out to a lactation consultant at the recommendation of a post on TB. I'm requesting my medical records from the doctor who completed the surgery and we are going to go from there. It is something I really want to do but I've also promised myself that I will NOT beat myself up about it. If it cannot be done then there are other completely healthy options out there for my child. I did register for Dr. Brown's at the recommendation of my sister who used them with all 3 of her LOs. They help to reduce gas even though they are a PITA to clean. I have a couple single bottles for backup in case these don't work out. I figure I'll be either formula or exclusively BFing for a bit so I won't worry about a pump and accessories until I need them. I have researched and a hospital grade pump is available through my insurance. I'll pick up a can of formula to have on hand, the bottles and my breasts and I would be good until we figure it out together.

When I spoke with my lactation consultant regarding my ability to breastfeed post reduction, I was told that I'd have to wait and see. That there was no way to predict if the nerves, ducts and pathways rebuilt until it's showtime. Good luck!

karboss

SuperFudge00 said:

Karrunrun said:

I want to try, however, I had breast surgery in 1997 and it may not be possible. I've already reached out to a lactation consultant at the recommendation of a post on TB. I'm requesting my medical records from the doctor who completed the surgery and we are going to go from there. It is something I really want to do but I've also promised myself that I will NOT beat myself up about it. If it cannot be done then there are other completely healthy options out there for my child. I did register for Dr. Brown's at the recommendation of my sister who used them with all 3 of her LOs. They help to reduce gas even though they are a PITA to clean. I have a couple single bottles for backup in case these don't work out. I figure I'll be either formula or exclusively BFing for a bit so I won't worry about a pump and accessories until I need them. I have researched and a hospital grade pump is available through my insurance. I'll pick up a can of formula to have on hand, the bottles and my breasts and I would be good until we figure it out together.

When I spoke with my lactation consultant regarding my ability to breastfeed post reduction, I was told that I'd have to wait and see. That there was no way to predict if the nerves, ducts and pathways rebuilt until it's showtime. Good luck!

That's pretty much what they said as well. However, there are certain BR methods that take BF off the table completely. I had my surgery done way to young in my opinion and I really don't know anything about it! If I had one of the methods that will completely prohibit nursing, then I can make my other plans and move on. But in reality--I won't know until I know.

RIngReady

I'm a STM and I felt exactly the same as you do with my first. I just couldn't get past the idea of feeding a baby that way, I didn't always want to feel like I was "on call" and wanted Dh to be able to feed baby as well.my family/mother was not supportive of bf ing and no one in my family had bf. I was actually pretty adamant that I would bf for only the first month ( I chose one month due to things I had read and researched). I had bottles, cases if formula and even a few boxes of cold medicine do my milk would dry up. Everyone knew for me bf ing would last 30 days, as I was always vocal about it and my family even disagreed with that.
I had a horrible first month, scabbed nipples, horrible pain, baby had a miserable latch, and I went to 4 lc appointments. We fought through some miserable days where both Ds and I would cry through each feeding. On day 31, I bought a growler of my favorite beer with complete intention to celebrate that my month was over!
Then baby cried, and looked at me. Hubby grabbed the first bottle and as he put it in my sons mouth I began to sob! Honestly something came over me and I suddenly didn't care about anything except ME feeding my baby, and no one was more surprised then me. I actually bf my son until he was 15 months, and I cried when it was over.
Long story short: you know yourself and your body and beliefs best. Read and research, but remember that babies fed from both boob and bottle grow up healthy and happy. Know that when the time comes to make your decision, you really will know what is right you and your family and who cares what others think.

Suesse2009

shortskirtlongjacket said:

I want to try BF, but I want to pump as well. I don't want to be the only one who feeds the baby. It seems like when they are little, feeding is a bonding time and I want H to be able
to have that time also.

So those of you BTDT mom's, if you exclusively BF - how did dad bond with baby in the beginning? Or is it really not that big of a deal?

My husband did the majority of the baths actually he still does. I work nights though so he does the bedtime routine half the time. That is one way dads can bond. He also rocked her to sleep after I had nursed.

somewheresublime86

saltbox40 said:

somewheresublime86 said:

I can so relate to feeling overwhelmed. I'm planning to breastfeed, but would like DH to be able to give baby a bottle once a day or so, so we can each (hopefully) get a few hours of sleep by splitting the night shift. Getting a bit of extra sleep will really help keep my anxiety in check.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to work this. The reading I've done has me all confused about nipple confusion, and the right time to begin supplementing. I'm hoping our breast feeding class in February will help. Paging @saltbox40‌ - consider this your bat signal!

I would wait four weeks before introducing a bottle of expressed breast milk. Whenever you supplement with formula, it will affect your supply, if you do not empty your breasts with a pump at that time. It's a supply/demand system.

A great way for you to get sleep is to consider bringing baby to into bed with you. You will all sleep more.

I don't feel comfortable bed sharing (long, very sad story), but we will have the little dude in our room for the first few months. I'm hoping that having him so close by will help as well.

I've already placed my order for a pump and registered for a number of the items I should need. I'm going to put everything in place I need to be successful, and then hopefully my body will cooperate. I'm just trying to adopt the attitude that PP have mentioned and remember that's what is most important is that baby eats.

DMG122183

As you have probably seen from reading this post, every woman and every baby is going to take differently to breast feeding. The thing about having a baby (especially with a ftm) is you need to be flexible. I thought I was going to have a natural birth. Hello c section. I prepared my dog with trainers and read every book. Now he lives with my sister in law. You just never know how the dynamic is going to be until you live it.

I think God laughs when you make plans, but it will help you a great deal to do your homework. Preload your phone now with the number for the lactation support line. Identify a few friends or bumpies who have ff and bf their babies for support. Whatever you end up doing, if you go into the situation with an open mind, you will end up making the decision you feel most comfortable with.

Mushibamboo

PSA: the documentary "Breastmilk" is on Netflix! It's really interesting and covers a whole spectrum of experiences.

knjzacher

You do what is best for your family. As long as baby has a full tummy, you are doing your job! "Breast is best" is the general consensus, but it's not the absolute rule.
I EBF'd for 4 months, but my DD slept through the night very early, so my supply started to diminish early. Around 4m I was pumping after every morning feeding (cause I had the most milk at that time) and fed her the bottle at bed time because I hardly had any milk in the evening. Then gradually I didn't have any in the afternoon either, and I had to start supplementing with formula. At one point we were doing BF, FF and pumped breast milk. At 6m I went completely dry (despite doing all the tricks and lactation cookies and brewers yeast and drinking Guinness and blah blah) and I cried for a month over it. But you know what? She had a full tummy and was a happy baby. I did my job. I wish I could have gone longer but she was fed and that's all that matters.
There is a lot of shaming and guilt in mommy circles over breast feeding, and over any decision you make about your baby, really. Be strong.

OliveMom3

shortskirtlongjacket said:

I want to try BF, but I want to pump as well. I don't want to be the only one who feeds the baby. It seems like when they are little, feeding is a bonding time and I want H to be able
to have that time also.

So those of you BTDT mom's, if you exclusively BF - how did dad bond with baby in the beginning? Or is it really not that big of a deal?

Dh always gives DS his bath a great bonding time and he did a lot of walking around the house with DS to calm him down or just to hang out, at the beginning. But honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. He helped and bonded in so many other ways. He would do the entire bedtime routine aside from nursing to sleep. He still does! DS is 15 months old and he loves his bonding time with dad and now he only nurses for about 5-10 minutes before bed so the bulk of our bedtime routine is with his papa.

alie78_80

BF was one of the BEST decisions I made with DS, who BF for 18 months.  It is hard in the beginning but so worth it, IMO.  Having support from those around you is very helpful.  I really enjoyed going to LLL (La Leche League) meetings once a month, it was nice to have other BF mamas to ask if I had a question or an issue.  BF is tough at the beginning, you are both trying to figure it all out.  But, it gets easier and the first time DS unlatched smiled at me and then latched again just melted my heart and I knew I was doing what was best for us.  It is also nice that if nothing else would calm DS down I could always nurse him and that would do the trick. (I sometimes wish that was the case now for the toddler meltdowns).

My DH bonded well with DS even though he didn't feed him in the first 3 months.  I had to go back to work when DS was 5 months and DH gave him his first bottle around 3 months.  DH gave baths, held, changed, and soothed DS to bond.

tif5596

@Mushibamboo‌ So I just watched Breastmilk on Netflix....I'm sold on the breast feeding now. I did see some rather disturbing things but hey...everyone is different I suppose. But thank you for your suggestion! I'm definitely going to attempt BFing now!

BuckyC

Lots of great advice and ideas here. Just wanted to add one thing... Before you buy or register for a pump, check with your health insurance. Breast pumps should be covered thanks to the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare). You might not be able to get the exact pump you want, but I got a great double electric Medela pump through my insurance and didn't have to pay a dime.

tif5596

@BuckyC‌ I'm actually on Medicaid because my individual BCBS doesn't cover maternity care. I checked the other day and of course Alabama Medicaid doesn't cover one but one of my friends has one and is going to let me have it so that's handled.

nomesy

I'm one of those women who would get freaked out seeing someone breast feeding in public , but this stems from when I was younger not really being told it was ok , or really never seeing another female naked in front of my eyes so for me it's kind of a prudish thing where I thought by seeing someone breast feeding i was being inappropriate if I accidentally saw a nipple , I never used to be comfortable with seeing it. But I was also a woman who never thought she would have her own child. Now I'm pregnant, well. Hasn't my mind been made more open , I guess it started 6 years ago when I saw my sister breast feeding , I became "ok" with it but still couldn't look at her while she did it , now my best friend has been feeding in front of me and I'm like , yeah it's ok , I still feel awkward but know that if they aren't uncomfortable I shouldn't be .
And I choose to breast feed, a) the milk is free and b) what am a growing these puppies for if to be just looked at from afar and have no real use ? Lol
I changed my avatar recently to tank girl because the pic is how my boobs feel now compared to before !!!

fiscally3

tif5596 I am an EFF, there's a lot of noise around the importance of breastfeeding, but a lot of it very hyped.  When I was a FTM I felt a lot of what you felt.  At the time I decided that I was probably going to formula feed, but I would give breastfeeding a try if after giving birth I suddenly felt the desire.  For me that desire never came.  

Honestly, when you look at nursing supplies vs. formula the cost is indifferent for most people (most women I know nursing need to buy nursing bras, tanks, etc, storage bags, nursing pads, pump cleaning supplies throughout the year.)  At that's assuming you have an easy go of it, there are plenty of women who spend thousands on LCs, herbs, etc, just like there are plenty of women who spend that on special formulas.  Babies just aren't cheap. 

As far bottles go, we registered for two gift sets, some standard glass bottles from Evenflo, and the Playtex Ventaire Wide Nipple (which is supposed to be more like a breast, but I didn't even realize that when I bought it, I just remembered from siblings the bottles with angles working well for gas.)  Since you are undecided on whether to BF or not, the Evenflo bottles were nice because you can also store pumped milk in them.  

This is an excellent resource for formula feeding, and has a very supportive community for formula feeders and combo feeders on facebook. https://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/

Lastly, the big thing is, you really don't have to make this decision until the baby is born.  Keep a small can of formula at home, you'll need breast pads no matter what decision you make.  The nurses at most hospitals will help you figure out what type of formula your kid needs if you want to go that way, or help you figure out breastfeeding if you go that way.  In the long run, its such a small factor in parenting your child, Ohio State released a big study this year, with a sibling study that showed no great benefit from feeding either way.  https://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/sibbreast.htm

Good luck!

Bluetiff

I feel like, for me, the health benefits for myself & for baby make EBF a no brainer. There's just so much research that supports the benefits and advantages to EBF.

That being said, I was EFF, and I survived just fine- as long as baby is fed at the end of the day, that's most important. I won't beat myself up if there's a medical reason & I'm not able to, but I'll do everything in my power to try.

JJBoden

As you already said the benefits to baby are great. That's one reason I nurse my kids. Another reason, I'm way to lazy to wash bottles! Nursing is also free My oldest was tiny (5 pounds) and couldn't latch for 3 weeks so I pumped every 2 hours. He got it though and nursed until age 3. Didn't plan that long but he had eating issues and it worked for him.