Ask an A14er

edoliesmom

Ask any A14er anything you're curious about!

I didn't ask anyone if they wanted to do this, so hopefully this is not a total dud.

edoliesmom

@deidremaria How do you pronounce your first name? I always say it in my head to rhyme with "Maria," but the e at the end of it makes me think that's not the correct way of pronouncing it.

ETA: Also, who is older - you or your twin, and by how much? Have y'all ever had any twin psychic kind of moments?

Abcollins57

Good board, this has been bugging me!

I can't remember the lady on here who is a pediatrician but we had a conversation about discipline and she commented that it is too early to teach "no", they cannot comprehend it yet. So my question is...when can you start the discipline routine?

edoliesmom

Abcollins57 said:

Good board, this has been bugging me! I can't remember the lady on here who is a pediatrician but we had a conversation about discipline and she commented that it is too early to teach "no", they cannot comprehend it yet. So my question is...when can you start the discipline routine?

@eme520

Abcollins57

eme520 said:

@Abcollins57‌ that's an excellent question and I wish there was a clear cut answer. I have a wonderful developmental psychology reference that breaks it down like this: Keeping in mind that children develop at different times, children cannot really understand no until at least 2, give or take a few months. That's the main reason time outs won't really work until then. Up until that point redirection is your best bet. Other toddler moms can weigh in on this, but one highly recommended book is 1,2,3 magic. Before 2 it may appear that babies understand no and not to do certain things, but unfortunately I've taken care of way too many kids whose injuries have suggested otherwise.

Thank you! It has been on my mind ever since, and a constant debate between my husband and I!

edoliesmom

Vinny424 said:

I have so many questions I can think of!

Well ask them then!

edoliesmom

Vinny424 said:

Sorry can't think of

Oh. Well that's less exciting... I feel the same way though!

edoliesmom

tlp2558 said:

Good idea for a thread @edoliesmom‌. Too bad I can't think of any questions either.

Thanks. Maybe I shouldn't have started it so late when all of our brains are pretty much checked out for the night. lol

Abcollins57

celticlullaby said:

Abcollins57 said:

Good board, this has been bugging

I think sometimes people get hung up on the punishment side of things, but modeling and praise to reward behaviors are even more important, and it's never too young for that!

I guess my question was more directed at the "no" angle of discipline. I had a big debate with my MIL when she pushed his hand away from her plate and told him "no no."

What type of rewards do you offer your LO at this age?

edoliesmom

Vinny424 said:

edoliesmom said:

Vinny424 said:

Sorry can't think of

Oh. Well that's less exciting... I feel the same way though!

I got one. If you could ask anyone a question who and what would it be?

I would ask Josh what he thinks of my life now.

Bluebird2318

edoliesmom said:

Vinny424 said:

Sorry can't think of

Oh. Well that's less exciting... I feel the same way though!

I got one. If you could ask anyone a question who and what would it be?

I would ask Josh what he thinks of my life now.

Is Josh your husband who passed? I think it's a beautiful sentiment that you'd ask that. I'm sure he'd be happy for you!

edoliesmom

Bluebird2318 said:

edoliesmom said:

Vinny424 said:

edoliesmom said:

Vinny424 said:

Sorry can't think of

Oh. Well that's less exciting... I feel the same way though!

I got one. If you could ask anyone a question who and what would it be?

I would ask Josh what he thinks of my life now.

Is Josh your husband who passed? I think it's a beautiful sentiment that you'd ask that. I'm sure he'd be happy for you!

Yes. I know he would be happy! I'd just want to know if he's proud of me, what he thinks of Edolie... so many things.

edoliesmom

Acers said:

How do you pronounce Edolie? I say Ee-dole-ee in my head.

lol A lot of people do. It's "Ed-o-lee," but with how quickly I say it (and maybe my accent too?) it comes out more like "Ed-uh-lee."

edoliesmom

Acers said:

edoliesmom said:

Acers said:

How do you pronounce Edolie? I say Ee-dole-ee in my head.

lol A lot of people do. It's "Ed-o-lee," but with how quickly I say it (and maybe my accent too?) it comes out more like "Ed-uh-lee."

Good to know...and how did this name come about? I have an odd name and get asked this daily.

I get asked this a lot too, and I don't have a short version for the whole story, so I end up just telling everyone I found it on a website so that I'm not boring everyone with the entire story. Makes it seem lame since it's such a beautiful, old name!

Long story: my brother found out his dad wasn't his bio dad, and then he found out who his bio dad was. At the time, there was talk of him adopting them (my brother and his twin). His last name is Jackson, but my brother's name is Jack. He didn't want to be named Jack Jackson, so he was asking FB what he should change his first name to. He liked the name Perseus, and I thought this was stupid because of the movie/book Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. So I went off in search of similar names with the same kind of feeling/sound. I stumbled across the name Edolie, fell in love with it, and tucked it away for if I ever had a girl. It was probably about a year later when I learned that I'd finally be able to use that name.

Bluebird2318

@EdoliesMom What's the most unique nickname you've ever been given? Explain it.

@Vinny424 Name a song on your playlist you'd be ashamed to admit. (Or just any guilty pleasure song.)

@deidremaria What's your most prized possession (talking inanimate objects here)?

@Acers Do you have a phobia of some sort? What is it? 

@celticlullaby What is a dream or nightmare you've had that sticks out in your mind? Tell it briefly.

edoliesmom

@Acers Would you be willing to reveal your odd name? :-?

edoliesmom

@Bluebird2318 I think it would have to be Sammie Wammie Dandruff. I told my cousin that my mom calls me Sammie Snowflake (because when I was a little girl, I saw a picture of her dressed up for a play as Sally Snowflake and asked her if that was me), so she started calling me Sammie Wammie Dandruff. Wammie because it rhymes I guess, and dandruff because... Are you ready? Because they're hair snowflakes.

tamaraaaa

In my mind I have always said El-oh-dee, and just realized there is no L in there. Mind blown.

edoliesmom

joytomylifex said:

In my mind I have always said El-oh-dee, and just realized there is no L in there. Mind blown.

But.. there is an L! EdoLie. :-??

I saw the name Elodie after I saw Edolie, but I liked her name better and stuck with it.

edoliesmom

celticlullaby said:

Edolie always makes me think of the Sound of Music. I've been pondering where that association comes from - I think maybe I'm linking it with edelweiss.

For months every time you talk about your DD, EM, I'd have flashes of Julie Andrews, and I never really reflected why. LOL.

That's so hilarious! "Baby of internet stranger? Julie Andrews. Yeah! This is totally normal!" I didn't admit it in UO, but I'm one of the people who's never seen Sound of Music and doesn't have any interest in it, so I'm not sure who/what edelweiss is or how to say it.

Bluebird2318

@celticlullaby I have dreams/nightmares like that from childhood too. It's weird that I can remember dreams from 15-20 years ago, but not dreams from the night before.

One I remember was being at my grandparents old house in Florida, and in my dream they lived near some sort of garbage dump (not true in real life) where I met these two dogs, one bigger shaggy one and a skinnier one. Behaviorally, I think they were more like people than real dogs. At one point in my dream I went to the dump to see the dogs and peeked through the door to their room and I could see the skinnier one lying on the floor not moving and the shaggy one sitting over him. I could see the shaggy dogs head sitting on the floor next to him, but somehow he still turned to me and had these terrifying hypnotic eyes and then I woke up. Maybe the head was a mask and I was seeing his real face? I don't know. It was creepy as hell.    

Bluebird2318

That also reminds me that for some reason I've always had way more nightmares than good dreams. I can remember one really good dream though. In the dream I died and went to heaven, and heaven was pretty much the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. The colors (of the grass, sky, water, etc.) were more brilliant than you're used to in real life, and the earth rose up and mixed with the sky in these vibrant green and blue spirals. It was just this big expansive world that you were free to travel in. Very, very cool. I'm not a believer, but it was still special to have a dream like that. I can't forget it. I think I've mentioned it once before on TB, but damn it was an amazing dream!

Bluebird2318

I have not seen that, but I'll have to check it out! And I agree that dreams are tremendously fascinating. When I was pregnant with DD I had dreams that were so terrifying/sad that I woke up crying! I could listen to people talk about their dreams all day. Dreams or freaky/supernatural experiences. I could listen for hooouuuurs. 

Roufi

Something I wonder about often - @mamrotu73‌ does it bother you not to fly anymore? I feel like if I could do something that amazing, no longer doing it would be so sad...

Roufi

And @Bluebird2318‌ - where is your sn from? I always think of my grandmaman when you're around - she had a bed & breakfast named L'Oiseau bleu.

Roufi

@dani+california‌ (or anyone for that matter) - what is the most beautiful or striking place that you have been in your travels?

Tferr02

Not most beautiful but most intense and memorable place I have visited was Pompeii. It was crazy to see how time just stopped so long ago there. A dog on a rope trying to cover his face with his paws is what always comes to my mind first.

michaelad3

I totally agree about Pompeii. It's such a surreal place.

I think as far as beauty, Costa Rica is among the top places for me.

meetmow

Roufi said:

@dani+california‌ (or anyone for that matter) - what is the most beautiful or striking place that you have been in your travels?

Antelope Canyon in Page, AZ is my hands down favorite spot on earth!

zoopsiedaisy

dani+california said:

To the pregnant A14ers, do you ladies have names picked out? Are you finding out the sex of your babies? What are you doing differently this time around, because you've gone through it before?

Thanks for asking Dani! My husband is the name nerd around here so he's had them picked out for a while. We chose our boy name, Walter John when I was pregnant with my LO. That's after his grandfather. If its a girl then we will make her Mary Alice after his grandmother. My LO is Hazel Jo after my dad Joseph.

We will be finding out the sex again. I worry and plan too much not to. And the thing I will do differently....try not to worry as much. Ha!! I want to enjoy the pregnancy since its most likely my last time simce I'm an old broad. And I want to enjoy Hazel as much as possible before my attention has to be diverted. Right now I'm dealing with some major guilt issues. I'm hoping those subside soon.

Edit: to delete a Ha! because they are my crutch and I use them too often :-(

edoliesmom

dani+california said:

To the pregnant A14ers, do you ladies have names picked out? Are you finding out the sex of your babies? What are you doing differently this time around, because you've gone through it before?

Are all of them FTMs? :-O I know @ambarnett1 and @MrsW26‌ are but not sure about meg.eliz and @zoopsiedaisy‌. I think they are too though.

zoopsiedaisy

@eme520‌
Since you know so much about what could go wrong, do you think you worry more or less about your LO? I think it would give me comfort knowing I might be able to recognize something was wrong early on, but, worrying as much as I do I might think every little thing was a disaster about to happen.

Part 2...will you let your kids have a trampoline, ride jet skis, etc...? My dad was a pathologist and those things were not allowed in my family. He saw one too many children injured or killed. And I get my high anxiety level from him. Ha!!

Roufi

@jellysparkles‌ what are you studying?and what is your favourite Christmas tradition (apart from watching Elf!)?

Roufi

@celticlullaby‌ do you speak Gaelic or have any family members who do?

ambarnett1

dani+california said:

To the pregnant A14ers, do you ladies have names picked out? Are you finding out the sex of your babies? What are you doing differently this time around, because you've gone through it before?

As many of you know, Hunter will be getting a little brother. I guess I'm the farthest along out of the A14ers. We have the names Parker Lee or Parker Charles picked out. Aiden and Wyatt are still in the running though. Don't know how I feel about any of the names really. If it was a girl, her name would have been Emma Christine.

This time around, for the pregnancy I've been eating more which has lead to me not being as sick. I plan to not get the epidural as quickly in hopes of progressing faster. I really don't want another 30+ hour labor and 3+ hours of pushing. I'm really struggling with whether or not I am going to try and BF. This little guy may do very well, but with Hunter it was traumatizing and stressful, especially with his reflux, colic, and MSPI. DH wants to just skip right to formula. It's such a hard decision and I feel like a bad mom for thinking about not trying to BF. For parenting, I feel like I've learned a lot, but will probably make the same mistakes I did with Hunter.

deidremaria

edoliesmom said:

@deidremaria How do you pronounce your first name? I always say it in my head to rhyme with "Maria," but the e at the end of it makes me think that's not the correct way of pronouncing it.

ETA: Also, who is older - you or your twin, and by how much? Have y'all ever had any twin psychic kind of moments?

you got it right Deidre (dee-dra) Maria... ;-)
I'm 40 minutes older
we do have weird psychic/twin moments
One time she was seasick on a ferry trip to St. Thomas (another island) and I was sick to my stomach at home the whole time. Another time I couldn't stop thinking about her and I found out later that she had this blow out argument with this annoying boy that no one got along with.

zoopsiedaisy

edoliesmom said:

dani+california said:

To the pregnant A14ers, do you ladies have names picked out? Are you finding out the sex of your babies? What are you doing differently this time around, because you've gone through it before?

Are all of them FTMs? :-O I know @ambarnett1 and @MrsW26‌ are but not sure about meg.eliz and @zoopsiedaisy‌. I think they are too though.

I am a ftm. I'm nervous about having two but so excited. I can't wait to see what this little guy or girl is like.

deidremaria

Bluebird2318 said:

@EdoliesMom What's the most unique nickname you've ever been given? Explain it.

@Vinny424 Name a song on your playlist you'd be ashamed to admit. (Or just any guilty pleasure song.)

@deidremaria What's your most prized possession (talking inanimate objects here)?

@Acers Do you have a phobia of some sort? What is it? 

@celticlullaby What is a dream or nightmare you've had that sticks out in your mind? Tell it briefly.

honestly I have so many things that I'm not too sure what it would be. For now I'm gonna say my hair brush. It was my grandma's. When she passed away that's the only thing I wanted of hers because for as long as I could rememeber I loved brushing her hair. She was west Indian and German so she had long silky hair that I'd brush forever when I was little. If I think of something else I'll update

Roufi

mamrotu73 said:

Roufi said:

Something I wonder about often - @mamrotu73‌ does it bother you not to fly anymore? I feel like if I could do something that amazing, no longer doing it would be so sad...

Flying is cool. But A is cooler. It is harder to be a mom than a pilot.
I miss it sometimes, but I think what I struggle with more is the giant change in identity.
When we were unpacking the guest room/office, DH hung all his military love-me junk up and I never have been into it. But he put mine up and told me how he remembered thinking his mom was such a BAMF when he was little because he saw all her doctor stuff on their walls after she left practice to raise him and his brothers. "Ansel needs to know his mom is a badass, too."

That's amazing, and your H is totally right, every kid loves knowing about the awesome things their parents do/have done.

Roufi

@aprilmay09 (are those the right digits?) what is your favourite pastime when you aren't chlling with us or your DD? If you weren't a lawyer, what would you be?

snowbound

mamrotu73 said:

Something I wonder about often - @mamrotu73‌ does it bother you not to fly anymore? I feel like if I could do something that amazing, no longer doing it would be so sad...

Flying is cool. But A is cooler. It is harder to be a mom than a pilot. I miss it sometimes, but I think what I struggle with more is the giant change in identity. When we were unpacking the guest room/office, DH hung all his military love-me junk up and I never have been into it. But he put mine up and told me how he remembered thinking his mom was such a BAMF when he was little because he saw all her doctor stuff on their walls after she left practice to raise him and his brothers. "Ansel needs to know his mom is a badass, too."

That is so awesome and cute.