Mixed race babies & superstitions

mishmardhiono

I'm australian, my husband is from SE Asia. Love his family dearly but did not prepare myself for the onslaught of customs that come with being pregnant to somebody who has such a rich and old culture.

Just a few things so far that my darling ILs have voiced:
- no eating in a room with a closed door because it will make the baby shy and not come out
- no cold water or meat as the baby won't grow
- baby is best born at 7 or 9 months not 8 months (not sure how I control this)
- no scratching skin as I'll be hurting te baby
- nothing is to be purchased, no names discussed until te baby is here

There's also lots of cool things too we have the equivalent if a wedding reception at 12 weeks, 32 weeks, day of birth, 7 days after birth, 40 days and then 3 months is the final big ceremony and 2 more small ones after this

It's driving me mad!!!!!!! Everything I do has some crazy wives take attached to it from his mum who can't see they are old wives tales and not fact. I tried to explain to her the silly old wives tales we have, she said they were ridiculous and I explained that's what hers sound like to me because of the different cultures..

Is anyone else having to be considerate of their partners culture/IL's wives tales?

Cspinx

My moms side of the family is Portuguese, and they have similar old wives tales that the older family members truly believe. Everyone just takes it with a grain of salt and humors them when they are around, but then do what they want any other time. So I say, it's YOUR baby, do what you want. If they get offended if you don't follow these customs in their presence, then just humor them and do it to keep the peace. That's how I deal with it in my family anyways.

mishmardhiono

Yep, my husband is really awesome he has migrated from his village to australia and has accepted 100% my culture. I respect his parents when we go back to his village and te second we leave disregard it all. Funny how it's possible to truly believe all these things though... Honestly scratching your skin injures the baby? But you ride on a motorbike pregnant with no helmet ad eat chicken that's never seen a fridge??? Arghh hahaha smile and nod

Cspinx

My family believes the scratching thing too, I laughed because I thought it was a joke and I got a stare down from the older family members. Oh well, gotta love 'em

mishmardhiono

Wow really??? What nationality are they?? DH said they believe it's the babies hair tickling you from the inside which is why they believe you can't scratch it..

Cspinx

They are Portuguese. We also have a tradition of all the women making Portuguese sweet bread around Christmas, but the weird thing is any new babies in the family have to eat a little raw dough or else they won't learn to talk. :-? I mean, SERIOUSLY?!?

mishmardhiono

Haha

leenziepops

LOL sorry OP but that list just cracked me up! I can imagine the oldies in my family (I have a Chinese background) saying some of that but most of us are educated and westernised and don't believe in these old superstitions. However, my DH and I are considering celebrating the One Month after LO is born. I think its a beautiful way for everyone to meet our baby and there's a few special symbols like the red eggs and the red envelopes that I like. And to honor his family traditions, we are thinking about Christening LO although we're not religious. Still under discussion.

 

mathistm

My father is Swedish and we used to nap outside on the balcony. (They believe it will keep you from catching a cold). He 100% expects that we will make our infant nap on our balcony as well.

mishmardhiono

They are hilarious I agree irritating at the time but hilarious and I think important too it's easy to
Sometimes forget that this will be 50% of my babies culture. I like the ceremonies it's unique to our friends and for
Our children as I'm sure you would feel the same about the 1 month ceremony.

Sleeping on a balcony in Sweden and not getting sick?? I wonder how all these superstitions started

ooopswediditagain

mishmardhiono said:

I'm australian, my husband is from SE Asia. Love his family dearly but did not prepare myself for the onslaught of customs that come with being pregnant to somebody who has such a rich and old culture.

Just a few things so far that my darling ILs have voiced:
- no eating in a room with a closed door because it will make the baby shy and not come out
- no cold water or meat as the baby won't grow
- baby is best born at 7 or 9 months not 8 months (not sure how I control this)
- no scratching skin as I'll be hurting te baby
- nothing is to be purchased, no names discussed until te baby is here

There's also lots of cool things too we have the equivalent if a wedding reception at 12 weeks, 32 weeks, day of birth, 7 days after birth, 40 days and then 3 months is the final big ceremony and 2 more small ones after this

It's driving me mad!!!!!!! Everything I do has some crazy wives take attached to it from his mum who can't see they are old wives tales and not fact. I tried to explain to her the silly old wives tales we have, she said they were ridiculous and I explained that's what hers sound like to me because of the different cultures..

Is anyone else having to be considerate of their partners culture/IL's wives tales?

Oh honey. You don't have to be considerate of the traditions and wives takes his mother is imposing on you. You can be considerate if her feelings but do not feel pressured into taking part in any of that.

My kids are mixed with me (a European mutt) and their fast, French Creole (Spanish, Native American, black, French, Portuguese and Dutch.). While they are mixed I am learning more about their Creole heritage than my husband and trying to incorporate some of their beliefs.

Katerina&Baby

Curious as to what DH has to say about these. I agree with the PP who suggested humoring them for the ones that are a mild annoyance if they really feel strongly about it - it comes from a place of love and concern so if it will make them feel better to eat with the stupid door open, go for it when they are around. For ones that are going to pose a problem for you (as buying items and discussing names might), don't discuss it around them but if it comes up (such as if they see something you bought for baby), explain that you are doing your best to accommodate their superstitions but that since you don't believe in them, you'll only be bending so far. End of discussion. This is your and DH's child after all - not theirs.

GASuzuki

Damn, I'm mixed and my DH is Japanese American, but we don't have ANY superstitions. LOL! Although, I had a nice Chinese lady tell me today to eat apples during pregnancy, but be careful of overdoing it as my child will be allergic to anything I eat too much of. 

wendyful

My mother is driving me nuts with Chinese superstitions. No cutting anything on your bed. No doing any kind of home repairs or making loud noises. Typically before the baby comes is the best time to do any kind of sprucing up to the place. We've tried to appease her by doing minor stuff, changing out the door knobs to the lever handles I wanted instead of gutting out the bathroom downstairs and re-doing it into my dream master bath. Still she gripes.