Wednesday rant. — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Wednesday rant.

How come when you tell some people about what you are going through (for me a mc and then ectopic) they start talking about their pregnancy and how it went for them and/or a friend they knew who struggled, etc. etc.?!!!

Again, not everyone, but I don't really want to hear how you got pregnant and everything went fine right now.

Has anyone else dealt with this?!

End rant and happy Wednesday to you all!!

Re: Wednesday rant.

  • Yes, it's frustrating... but that's why those people aren't actually my friends. My real friends and people that care about me will actually listen and then give me a hug. It seems like the people who move on to their own stories are people who don't actually care about me. I avoid them. 

    Anniversary
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    TTC since July 2014
    BFP#1 11/1/14, EDD 7/15/15, 
    MM/C (blighted ovum) 12/2/14 at 8 wks, D&C 12/5/14
    Fur Parents to Mercy, Fluffy and Big Tex
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    alovett26
  • I also find myself getting frustrated about things like this but maybe, just maybe, that's their way of making you feel better talking about successful pregnancies. 

    I am not saying it's right but some people just really don't know how to react to certain things. I posted up something on my FB about what people have said to me or others that made us feel bad and you would be surprised at how many of my friends really had no idea things on the list were hurtful. 

    I am sorry it's upsetting you *hug* 
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



    alovett26
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  • You ladies rock. Thank you both for your support, I really REALLY appreciate it!!! Thank you for all of your comments and the hugs! It's so comforting to have some support from those who totally understand. So seriously, THANK YOU! @Nikolie93‌ @imnotfancy‌
    imnotfancy
  • We are here anytime you need it @alovett26! :) 
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



  • Yes! And I'm sick of hearing this one, too: "Everything happens for a reason." Maybe that will comfort me in the future, but right now it makes me want to punch you!
    image
    Married 10.03.2014
    TTC the day we were married
    BFP October 2014 - Due 7/2/2015 - MMC discovered 12/1/2014 (D&C)
    [Deleted User]ticktock0903KingLED
  • I know your frustration. The thing that pisses me off the most is the comment "Oh don't worry...it's common". Gee thanks...so is cancer...so is diabetes.. but I don't go around telling people "Oh don't worry..it happens" :-( It's so hurtful to hear that. It's awful. That's why I have resorted to telling only a selected few.

    I even had a friend tell me "oh don't worry...it was just a blob". I wanted to cry. I know she didn't mean to be hurtful, but I just hate how some people are ignorant. I've realized that unless you've gone through it...you don't really know.
  • OMG, I am so sorry @mylittlegemini I can't even imagine my own reaction to the "blob" comment! Especially after my own blighted ovum... it's confusing enough as it is!

    Anniversary
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    TTC since July 2014
    BFP#1 11/1/14, EDD 7/15/15, 
    MM/C (blighted ovum) 12/2/14 at 8 wks, D&C 12/5/14
    Fur Parents to Mercy, Fluffy and Big Tex
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Just a blob? RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

    I am sorry *hug*
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



  • Oh my gosh. That is HORRIBLE! I am so sorry you went through that. I think people try to help but don't realize it actually makes it worse!

    Hugs!
  • I just don't understand the reponse you get when you tell someone about your m/c. Things I've been told
    1. Your complexion cleared up, so that's a plus.
    2. You looked so exhausted before, glad you look normal now.
    3. Hey! At least you know you can get pregnant now.(Yeah but I can't stay pregnant)
    4. Maybe your baby had downs, so nature just corrected that for you.
    5. You'll get pregnant again and it will be so easy for you!!
    6. My sister told me this... it wasn't a real baby. (What?!?!?!?)

    I just want to punch them. When I'm screaming inside saying "shut your face hole and maybe just hug me! "
    Married: August 16 2014
    EDD: July 12, 2015  MC: November 30, 2014 8weeks
    Clover Grace
     our little angel.
  • Thanks ladies....I know..what a horrible horrible thing to say. I almost started crying :'( I told her I was 10 weeks and that my baby had fingers and toes and even nails and teeth growing. But I didn't get angry because I think I felt more sad than anything (my heart shattered when I heard her comment). It felt like someone punched me. And @cherish1986‌ ive heard most of those comments. It's incredibly hurtful to hear such things. "Oh well now u know u can get pregnant!" Grrrr. :-(

    I'm so sorry that we all have to go through this </3
  • Me too.. People just don't get it. Can't fault them for it either. Miscarriages are very taboo it seems like. I just wish it was out there in the mainstream.
    Married: August 16 2014
    EDD: July 12, 2015  MC: November 30, 2014 8weeks
    Clover Grace
     our little angel.
  • I struggle with that too... It seems like they are SO much more common once you go through one and find out others who have too but no one ever talks about them.

    I like the comments, "oh I am so sorry, that is horrible, I didn't go through anything like that seems like as soon as I wanted to be pregnant I snapped my fingers and it happened!"

    Good for you, I did too but lost them both so yay you!
  • After I found out I was miscarrying one of my friends who was pregnant too asked me the symptoms I was having and what was going on and when I said I didn't want to talk about it all she said was "oh well I was just wondering if there was anything I need to be watching for or anything I needed to be worried about but ok call me if you need to talk." Doesn't get me as upset now but then it sent me over the roof
  • After I found out I was miscarrying one of my friends who was pregnant too asked me the symptoms I was having and what was going on and when I said I didn't want to talk about it all she said was "oh well I was just wondering if there was anything I need to be watching for or anything I needed to be worried about but ok call me if you need to talk." Doesn't get me as upset now but then it sent me over the roof.
  • After I found out I was miscarrying one of my friends who was pregnant too asked me the symptoms I was having and what was going on and when I said I didn't want to talk about it all she said was "oh well I was just wondering if there was anything I need to be watching for or anything I needed to be worried about but ok call me if you need to talk." Doesn't get me as upset now but then it sent me over the roof
    Oh my gosh, I would have felt the same way. People just don't think! I know they don't MEAN to be insensitive or upsetting.... but what ever happened to tact? Or sensitivity?
    image
    Married 10.03.2014
    TTC the day we were married
    BFP October 2014 - Due 7/2/2015 - MMC discovered 12/1/2014 (D&C)
  • I just don't understand the reponse you get when you tell someone about your m/c. Things I've been told 1. Your complexion cleared up, so that's a plus. 2. You looked so exhausted before, glad you look normal now. 3. Hey! At least you know you can get pregnant now.(Yeah but I can't stay pregnant) 4. Maybe your baby had downs, so nature just corrected that for you. 5. You'll get pregnant again and it will be so easy for you!! 6. My sister told me this... it wasn't a real baby. (What?!?!?!?) I just want to punch them. When I'm screaming inside saying "shut your face hole and maybe just hug me! "
    I'm sorry you had to listen to anyone say any of these things to you. I've heard them too. they mean well but just don't get it.


  • Sorry ladies, didn't mean to post that twice! My phone was being stupid last night! And thank you! I honestly can't believe the ignorant comments from some people. If you're not sure what to say then a simple "I'm so sorry" would do. Not some of the comments I've heard people say.
    alovett26
  • I've noticed people will tell me about how their cousins sisters co worker had a miscarriage. I realized I am not the only person this has every happen to but I don't appreciate my experience being minimized.
    ashleyann62215alovett26
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