Intro =/ (loss mentioned)

NicoleMarcelle

Hi all.  I hate that my intro has to be on this board.  =/  I'm Nicole, I'm an attorney in Florida and have been married since June 2013.  We started TTC in August of this year, and I got my BFP in November.  LMP was Oct. 6, putting me at nearly 10 weeks.  At 9w3d (last Thursday), I went for my first U/S, where the tech found baby but baby was measuring around 6w3d and had no heartbeat.  I also saw in the notes that there is some blood in the uterus.  So I am now waiting for my next appointment, this coming thursday, for another u/s to confirm and to talk about our options.  I've been a complete mess all week and everything is a trigger, pregnant women, strollers, kids... ugh.  I know that this is happening for a reason, baby must have had something terribly wrong with him, but I am heartbroken...I have come to terms with the fact that this is happening, and I am just ready for the m/c to happen so I can have some closure, the thought of carrying my undeveloped embryo is just so morbid =/

Nikolie93

I'm so sorry you're going through this and you have to wait. Once you find out you just want it to end so you can work towards healing mentally. You wanting the closure is pretty normal.

I hope you get through this quickly *hug*

nicnackmama

I'm so sorry you're going through this.  ::hugs:: 

NicoleMarcelle

Thank you all for the support! I spent a good amount of time reading in these boards last night and learning a lot about my options.  We will be going to the OB to have the confirmation on Thursday so I am just holding on until then.  I am at work and just trying to keep busy so I don't have to think about this.  

I've had some very mild cramping and a little nausea, but it doesn't feel the same as the nausea a few weeks ago.  Almost all of my symptoms are gone, my breasts are a little bit sore still but a lot less so  than even a week ago.  When I had my hCG tested it was at about 18,000 (last thursday), I'm going to go again before my doctor's appointment just to make sure it's headed downward and so I can give him a little more data to go on. He didn't ask for blood work but I needed to do something after the appointment.

At this  point, I have made peace with the fact that it is supposed to be this way, it still hurts, but I know DH and I will be ok.  I really appreciate all of you reading and providing support.  I'm a little bit afraid of what is still to come, after reading all three options, I still don't know what I want, and I'm afraid of all three, I read that D&Cs can cause adhesions and my mom got adhesions after her apendectomy and I don't know if it's genetic and I'm predisposed to it or not. I am probably way overthinking this and I know I need to calm down until I speak with my OB and see what he thinks is best. I just need to get it out because while I have a lot of support around me, I can't quite talk about all of this right now as it occurs to me... If you made it this far, thank you for reading.  

bumpuser10605721

Im very sorry for your loss.

I know the scared your feeling about all the options. I wanted a natural MC and bled for 4 days while keeping busy at work and home, I passed almost everything but then bled +++ and needed a D&C for retained tissue. I was terrified of the risks of D&C but can say I'm glad I did it, glad I didn't go home to try and let me body take care of things, I was sore and exhausted physically and emotionally. Do whats right for you, and come here for support. Again Im very sorry for your loss.

Nikolie93

I think it's normal to be afraid of the options and over thinking things is also quite normal right now. I hope your appointment with the OB goes well Thursday *hug*