Hurtful words

bkam

How do you cope with hurtful words from your own motjer re IF when they know what you're going through?

emmuffy

Sorry you're experiencing pain. All of us have suffered at some point from insensitive comments. Some of us try to educate others about what we're going through, but sometimes it's too much of a burden to have to correct everyone when we're already dealing with sadness and grief. There's no perfect way to get through this. Hugs.

vballbaby

@bkam I'm sorry your mom is not being supportive. Have you told her how you feel?

IfMamaAintHappy

Some people make insensitive comments when they mean well, some people are just flat out ignorant and have no manners, and some people are just ugly (like my DH's ex wife).  I used to react and internalize the comments based on which category I was dealing with, but over time I've learned to just tune it all out. It's much easier said than done for sure. 

afsalinas

I've been there.  People often try to say things that they think are helpful, for ex: "Why don't you just adopt", "Stop trying so hard", "When you stop trying it will happen"... blah, blah, blah.  They don't realize its hurtful.  You can tell your mom that what she said hurt your feelings and you aren't looking for her to "fix" the problem for you, you just want someone to talk to.  Or you can stop talking to her about it all together and just vent to us instead

Knottie4978096

Yeah - my mom was pretty unsupportive too - still is. She doesn't understand medical stuff in general and thinks that there is something wrong with me (other than I'm just 39, all tests are normal). Then, she freaked out when I told her we couldn't wait because she didn't want me being pregnant for my wedding. She told me I was desperate and that waiting will be better. All a bunch of uninformed crap. The only consolation is that she also freaked out when my sister announced she was pregnant with her second. So at least my mom applies this liberally to everyone.

Mellyknu

I don't really have any experience or advice to share with you, but I wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through this.  Keep your head up and don't let outside opinions change your mind!