I HATE being the mean mom....

CUBBIESMAMA3

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at my wits end with DS. This child won't go to bed, at all. Nap time today has become a four hour ordeal at this point between his dad and me. I have tried everything: bargaining, begging, talking to him, spanking, taking away things that he loves or being able to go places. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like he thinks its a game. I can't do it anymore. I hate yelling at him, and yet this is a daily ordeal. Any ideas on how to get him to bed? I let him sleep in his tent, on an air mattress, in his bean bag. Nothing works for very long. Please, any suggestions y'all may have are appreciated. TIA

SanRemo

This can be a real challenge. You are used to him taking a nap, you know he needs a nap and you look forward to having the time to breathe. I am sorry you are going through this.

I used to have to run dd ragged at about 3 years old just to get her to give in to the exhaustion. I ended up more exhausted then she was. This problem did end eventually but it ended in her not taking naps anymore. It took about 1.5 years to get to that point however.

I like mamakate's idea about just doing quiet time. 

rose913

Have you checked out the clocks that turn colors when they can get out of bed. We had a problem with naps and bedtime with the little girl I nannied for. We bought her a clock that turned yellow when it was time to get in bed and then it was set to turn green when she could get up. The first day we made a game of it. I would set it for anywhere from 1 minute to 5 minutes over and over, I would leave the room and of she stayed in bed until the light turned green she got a sticker. So when it was nap time she knew there was a reward for staying in bed. We did about a month of her getting a sticker at nap time and in the morning. Slowly she stopped wanting the sticker and would just say in bed. I would always sing a song about how awesome she was and that was enough motivation for her!

Good luck!

ashaw512

mambonumber5 said:

You spanked your kid for not taking a nap... that seems counter productive.

My DS gets quiet time in his room because he doesn't nap. Some times one hour sometimes 3.

I can see why a spanking is needed. If your child keeps getting out of the bed after time and time again and you've already taken things, you are going to spank. If you are a parent that uses that form of discipline. Don't judge, this ain't mommy wars. You do what you gotta do to make your kid mind. I've spanked DD for getting out of her bed and she got right back in it and didn't move.

Songbird2

My sister in law has this problem and uses a 30 min sand timer. Her son has to lay in bed until the sand runs out. If he isn't asleep by then he can get up, most of the time he falls asleep.

CUBBIESMAMA3

mamakate12345 said:

How old is DS?  Some toddlers outgrow naps sooner than others.  I would offer him a new "time" like quiet/book/movie time.  If he really is tired,he should fall asleep. 

He's four. I like that idea. I will have to talk to DH about instituting something like that. I love the idea of a clock or a timer too. Maybe I can somehow institute both. Maybe tell him that if he's not asleep by the time the timer runs out, then he has to stay in his room for quiet time or something. I'll figure it out. :-)

rkang01 said:

Have you checked out the clocks that turn colors when they can get out of bed. We had a problem with naps and bedtime with the little girl I nannied for. We bought her a clock that turned yellow when it was time to get in bed and then it was set to turn green when she could get up. The first day we made a game of it. I would set it for anywhere from 1 minute to 5 minutes over and over, I would leave the room and of she stayed in bed until the light turned green she got a sticker. So when it was nap time she knew there was a reward for staying in bed. We did about a month of her getting a sticker at nap time and in the morning. Slowly she stopped wanting the sticker and would just say in bed. I would always sing a song about how awesome she was and that was enough motivation for her!

Good luck!

Thanks! Where did you get the clock?

mambonumber5 said:

You spanked your kid for not taking a nap... that seems counter productive.

Maybe I should have clarified this part. He doesn't get spanked for not taking a nap. He gets spanked for talking back and giving us attitude when we confront him about why he is out of bed. He gets very obstinate and defiant when it comes to bedtime. This measure is a last resort should nothing else work that day.

@ashaw512 I was spanked too for getting out of bed as a child, and I learned pretty quickly because of it.

biokitty42

At 4, is he maybe ready to drop the nap?  I sometimes struggle getting DD1 down, but she is 2 and definitely still needs the nap.  Maybe you could try instituting quiet time instead.  But I wouldn't let a naptime battle drag out for four hours.  I would probably decide it wasn't happening that day after an hour or so and just move bedtime up.

One thing that worked for DD1 was reading book after book to her until she fell asleep.  I don't know if you can pull that off now, though, with a new baby to take care of.  Good luck.  I know how frustrating sleep issues are.

Pinkmom19

I think if the time is for you, you can try telling DS he has to stay in his room for X time and he can quietly look at books, listen to music, play whatever, but he has to stay in his room. Then reward him when he does. Sometimes he'll likely fall asleep on the floor anyway - mine would.

If it's truly for him bc his behavior is regressing due to less sleep, you can try laying with him or putting him to bed earlier. How old is he? One of mine stopped napping at 2 and was not the worse for the wear. One did at 3 and I was successful getting her to start again at 4 by letting her lay in the living room near me. She really needed the nap -she was falling apart daily. When she wouldn't nap I didn't punish her but there was a lot of, "I sure wish we could do XYZ, but you are having such a hard time already because you are so tired that we will have to just stay home and have some quiet, relaxing time."

Sorry so long. Good luck. Parenting is hard.

rose913

https://www.target.com/p/teach-me-time-talking-bedside-alarm-clock-and-night-light/-/A-11852370#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=teach+me+time+alarm+clock

This is the clock we used but you can google toddler light up alarm clock and there are a few others.

It helps with telling time as well. We always told the little girl what time it was going to change, like for naps it was 3pm. She would always say she was going to stay up and watch the clock until it turned 3.... which actually helped her fall asleep because she would get to bored. I he is starting to just need quiet time I would let him pick out 3 books to take in his bed and he can look at those 3 for a hour until his light changes. He will probably fall asleep if he is tired. Same with bed time.

rose913

Also when she would occasionly be difficult and get out of bed I would say something like "Well I am not surprised you got out of bed because I knew you couldn't stay in bed. You are too little to know how to stay in bed until you light turns green. Maybe we shouldnt use the light until you are a big girl." This girl couldnt resist a challenge! She would then feel the need to prove to me that she could stay in bed!

CUBBIESMAMA3

This clock will be a life saver. He's been asking me how to tell time, so I have going over it with him. I'm definitely going to save money from my sales to get this for him. I think that it will help not only him, but save us a little sanity as well. Thank you! @rkang01‌ & @breannekot‌ .

nstark2908

We use the okay to wake clock and it has been a lifesaver. Now E stays in his room until 7:15 (used to be 5:30). Also, there is a timer for naps. E is really into timers, so if I tell him that I'll set a timer for when he can get out of bed, then he goes to sleep easier. This clock and the use of a timer completely changed hoe e sleeps.

braybee

My son stopped taking naps around 2 but now that he is 3.5 years old, I am having the same problem when he goes to bed at night . It has been very stressful and overwhelming with a newborn.... I'm in the same boat as you, I've tried everything! I will have to check out this clock... Good luck, if you figure it out, spill your secrets!

CUBBIESMAMA3

braybee said:

My son stopped taking naps around 2 but now that he is 3.5 years old, I am having the same problem when he goes to bed at night . It has been very stressful and overwhelming with a newborn.... I'm in the same boat as you, I've tried everything! I will have to check out this clock... Good luck, if you figure it out, spill your secrets!

Will do