Travel dilemma: what would you do?

laur1020

ok, so I was around my family for two days for thanksgiving. My dad, sister and niece were all sick. My sister said her sickness started off with aches for a few days, then by day 3 she had a sore throat and runny nose.
I have had achey legs all day since Monday and just feeling "blah" overall. I'm supposed to be getting on a plane tonight to travel with DH to go to his grandfather's funeral. Tonight alone will consist of a 90 minute flight and then a 90 minute car ride to get to where we are staying. The mere thought of getting on a plane at 9:00 tonight and traveling just makes me feel so exhausted. I'm afraid that if I get on that plane, I'm going to regret it and I'll end up being sick the whole time we're there. I feel awful and I really want to/should be there to support my DH and his family, but I feel like I need to put my health (especially while pregnant) first. What would you do in my shoes? I'd appreciate any advice/input.

rels09

shmeell25 said:

I would probably go, you're going to be sick at home or you're going to be sick there. Will you have a lot of time to relax once you're there? You can always opt out of certain activities

This is me, too. Even if you have to miss some of the events, I am sure your H will appreciate having you around. Can you sleep on the plane or drive tonight?

sabriel1

Beeorange said:

I would go and support DH. Yes, it will suck if you are there and are sick. But like PP said, you will either be sick at home or sick there. At least if you are there you will be with DH and supporting him. 

This exactly

Snapdragon750

Starbuck128 said:

I wouldn't go. If you saw my WTF, you'd understand I've had it with sick people going out and spreading their sickness around. Planes are the worst when it comes to spreading viruses. I hate flying out to an expensive vacation I've been looking forward to for months, only to get sick a few days later because of the plane ride and stuck in the hotel miserable. I think it's very selfish to fly while sick.

Good point, but OP isn't sick, just thinks she will get sick. Either way I'd go and wear a face mask on the plane.

mpiemont

I'd go. If you've already "caught the bug" then it's in your system, staying home won't change that. 3 hours isn't that long to travel. (I drive 4-5 hours with 2 little kids to my parents so maybe it just doesn't seem like much to me). I'd try to sleep on the plane if you can. It will mean a lot to your husband and his family to be there.

Pintobean39

I'd go to be with my husband. If you were full on sick I'd stay home but your aren't sick, you are just guessing you will be sick because you were around someone that was sick. Me personally I haven't been around anyone that was sick that I know of and my legs are achy, my head is killing me and I'd just love to lay down and take a nap. I get like this every once in a while, it just seems some days this pregnancy takes more out of me than others. I'm not sick, nothing a good nights rest won't cure.

rels09

Starbuck128 said:

I wouldn't go. If you saw my WTF, you'd understand I've had it with sick people going out and spreading their sickness around. Planes are the worst when it comes to spreading viruses. I hate flying out to an expensive vacation I've been looking forward to for months, only to get sick a few days later because of the plane ride and stuck in the hotel miserable. I think it's very selfish to fly while sick.

Good point, but OP isn't sick, just thinks she will get sick. Either way I'd go and wear a face mask on the plane.

I read as she thinks she's getting sick, which if she is, she's very contagious right now.

Not if it's a cold, which is spread by contact with airborne secretions from sneezes and coughs, which she doesn't have. If it's the flu, then you might have a point, since that is more contagious. Just out of curiosity, would you miss your own grandparent's funeral because you thought you might be coming down with a common cold or similar virus?  

Pintobean39

rels09 said:

Starbuck128 said:

Snapdragon750 said:

Starbuck128 said:

I wouldn't go. If you saw my WTF, you'd understand I've had it with sick people going out and spreading their sickness around. Planes are the worst when it comes to spreading viruses. I hate flying out to an expensive vacation I've been looking forward to for months, only to get sick a few days later because of the plane ride and stuck in the hotel miserable. I think it's very selfish to fly while sick.

Good point, but OP isn't sick, just thinks she will get sick. Either way I'd go and wear a face mask on the plane.

I read as she thinks she's getting sick, which if she is, she's very contagious right now.

Not if it's a cold, which is spread by contact with airborne secretions from sneezes and coughs, which she doesn't have. If it's the flu, then you might have a point, since that is more contagious. Just out of curiosity, would you miss your own grandparent's funeral because you thought you might be coming down with a common cold or similar virus?  


Exactly, body aches aren't contagious. Now if you are running fever that's causing the body aches stay home.

laur1020

Yes, @Starbuck128‌ is right. I do feel like I'm coming down with something. My legs are really aching today and I just don't feel right/good. I've travelled sick once (got a major sinus infection while away) and the last thing I wanted to do was sit in a plane and fly. But I did just want to get home to my bed. This really sucks and I hate to be in this predicament. As to someone else's question about if I'd miss out on my grandparents funeral? If I felt the way I do now, I'd probably be in the same predicament. I'd just really hate to get there and have to miss out on the funeral because I forced myself and got worse. Thanks for the input ladies. I'm still not sure what I should do. I just want to stay home, but I don't want to disappoint my hubby. My grandfather died back in June and we had to fly to get to the funeral. My DH had a test to take the day we were flying home. I told DH that if he didn't want to go to the funeral so he could take his test, I totally understood. But with me not feeling well he hasn't even said "you shouldn't go if you feel that bad"...

rels09

laur1020 said:

Yes, @Starbuck128‌ is right. I do feel like I'm coming down with something. My legs are really aching today and I just don't feel right/good. I've travelled sick once (got a major sinus infection while away) and the last thing I wanted to do was sit in a plane and fly. But I did just want to get home to my bed. This really sucks and I hate to be in this predicament. As to someone else's question about if I'd miss out on my grandparents funeral? If I felt the way I do now, I'd probably be in the same predicament. I'd just really hate to get there and have to miss out on the funeral because I forced myself and got worse. Thanks for the input ladies. I'm still not sure what I should do. I just want to stay home, but I don't want to disappoint my hubby. My grandfather died back in June and we had to fly to get to the funeral. My DH had a test to take the day we were flying home. I told DH that if he didn't want to go to the funeral so he could take his test, I totally understood. But with me not feeling well he hasn't even said "you shouldn't go if you feel that bad"...

I wasn't asking you; I was asking Starbuck. Hope you feel better soon, no matter what you decide!

samiamagirl

I think this is an important thing to discuss with your DH. There are situations that are going to come up like this throughout your marriage where you may have to sacrifice your own comfort to be a supportive spouse. If his grandfather was an important part of his life and saying the official goodbye is going to be really hard on him, it's up to you as his wife to be there for him and comfort him. There will be times when the places are switched and you're going to need him to suck it up and be there for you. Sometimes marriage calls for us doing things we don't want to do in order to be a truly loving spouse.

ETA: Just to clarify, though, you not going doesn't not make you a loving spouse (if that phrasing makes sense). The last part I said is in reference to various situations that crop up in every marriage where we have to choose our spouse over our selves. In the end, my main advice is to really talk to your husband about this.

samiamagirl

IFinTN said:

I don't think staying home makes her a less loving spouse in this case....I would not want to travel sick.  My DH would never want me to do that either.

I think as long as she and her husband have a discussion and she hears what he wants/needs in this situation she'll be acting as a loving spouse. If he's okay with her staying home than that works out great, but if he really, desperately wants her there with him then she's going to have to make that choice to sacrifice her comfort to help him.

Snapdragon750

I'm sorry, but I don't think achy legs and feeling tired (while pregnant!) =/= getting or being sick.  I understand your fear of becoming sick since you were around all those sick people, but I wouldn't let that stop me from going if I were you.  It could be that you're coming down with something, and it could be that you're not.  How bad would you feel if you didn't go, and then it turned out that you weren't coming down with something after all?

My opinion is still to go and wear a mask on the plane, in case you do get sick, so you won't spread it to others.  I don't see how not going will prevent you from coming down with something if you've got it already (which you seem to think you do), and it's not like your family was sick with strep or the flu or anything.  It's a sore throat and a runny nose.  You'll be okay even in your worst case scenario.  

MAdams728

I wouldn't go. I'm going on the assumption that she IS sick, and being sick while traveling and stressed is very hard on a pregnant body.

Andplusalso, sick people don't need to be out spreading their germs, it's rude.

la79al

You're going to miss your husbands grandfathers ONLY funeral because your sister ended up with a runny nose and sore throat and you THINK you might have the same thing?  Get over it.  Go be supportive of your husband.  Be considerate of others on the plane but seriously, it's cold and flu season, you won't be the only sick one on that plane.  You're using pregnancy as an excuse to get out of something you don't want to do.  Not cool.

orangecurls

I just got over a really terrible cold, with lots of sinus pressure and ear aches. I wouldn't want to get on multiple flights, landing and taking off, dealing with the pain. And it took me twice as long to get over the cold compared to my other family members. Being pregnant and sick is no fun, so I would talk to my husband and see if he really needed me there or if the support of his family would be enough.