Not excited, not sure why?

jmlittleton

this is my 2nd pregnancy, but 1st baby! 1st pregnancy I was so happy. I couldn't wait to be a mom. I was devestated when I miscarried. For two years after my miscarriage all I wanted was to be pregnant again, so I could have my rainbow. Now I'm almost 9 weeks, and I couldn't be more depressed. I feel detached. I haven't bonded emotionally with the baby. I am sad, I don't want to talk about it, and anything baby related is miserable for me. My fiancé(will be husband next month) is so exited. But he's hurt and confused as to why I'm not. It's a complete shift from where I was. I'm so frustrated. I don't understand why this happened. I wanted this so badly, and I can't understand why I'm so depressed now that it's here. Anyone in the same boat?

MrsC0409

Are you feeling sick? It's hard for me to get excited when I feel like crap.

jmlittleton

Yeah. I'm constantly nauseated, and severely anemic.

MisSmartyPants

I am on a similar boat. I think a lot of it has to do with the previous loss. Initially, and still at times I am having a hard time being happy and excited, remembering the horrible heartbreak from the previous one. It is almost like I don't want to attach myself too much knowing that all this could end in a single moment. DH is struggling as well, maybe even more than me, for the same reason. I just try to remember that this is a new baby, and a new soul, and we are meant to be. I talk to it every night before I go to bed, and often touch my belly to remind myself that I have a little rainbow growing in me, and that it will be a perfect baby for me. :-) good luck to you!

MrsC0409

Maybe that's why... at my worst I couldn't even come on here. I resented everyone pregnant (sorry ladies! don't take it personally!) and everything baby. It's hard to get excited when you don't feel well. I don't think it's abnormal and I think it will pass. I started out so excited and over the moon, then the nausea hit and I feel like everyday life is so hard and I'm failing at it and that in itself is depressing.

babycarb

Have you seen the heartbeat or ultrasound yet? I'm still sort of in denial until I see that, so maybe that'll help make it "sink in" for you? I'm sure this is a totally normal reaction after having a loss like this. Just give yourself some time. Your hormones are doing crazy things right now, too. Don't stress too much about it. I'd definitely talk to your doctor just to be on the safe side. 

aliki3105

After my first two losses i was convinced i would lose my 3rd pregnancy too. It didn't help that i had a subchorrionic hemorrhage at 9 weeks and ended up in the ER several times. I didn't really feel excited and start feeling connected to the baby until i passed the point i knew she would survive outside. Now she's 13 months and i couldn't love her any more if i tried. Just give yourself time, talk to your doc for support and try not to worry too much (easier said than done, i know).

inLOVEalready715

I'm sorry you're struggling. I think it's very normal to feel ambivalent about the baby especially after the loss...is good to mention to your OB but you very well might come out of it naturally when you hit the second trimester. I hope you do

jessfaulhaber

MisSmartyPants said:

I am on a similar boat. I think a lot of it has to do with the previous loss. Initially, and still at times I am having a hard time being happy and excited, remembering the horrible heartbreak from the previous one. It is almost like I don't want to attach myself too much knowing that all this could end in a single moment. DH is struggling as well, maybe even more than me, for the same reason. I just try to remember that this is a new baby, and a new soul, and we are meant to be. I talk to it every night before I go to bed, and often touch my belly to remind myself that I have a little rainbow growing in me, and that it will be a perfect baby for me. :-) good luck to you!

This.
I'm in the same boat. Lost my first at 4w3d. Right after telling our families. So this time around made it hard to get excited because of being scared I'd lose this one too. I'm now at 9w2d so not completely out of the water yet but I have to admit it has gotten easier waking up each day and being thankful God has let me carry this baby another day. Hopefully it will brighten up for you soon!
Good luck!

ahsile10

Just something I dont think anyone has mentioned specifically, but hormones are a total bitch. I can totally identify with how you feel, and I dont have the past loss to exacerbate that. For me, it's been similar to PMS but totally intensified. PMS makes me depressed, tired, reclusive, and sad about everything but usually only for a day or two. The 1st tri so far has been very similar most of the time, and it was the same with my last pregnancy. I think wacky hormones are a big part of that.