Holiday Leftover Etiquette

yalllow

You've slaved all day in your hot kitchen making 25# of bird or ham, 6 different sides, 4 desserts, and those damn crescent rolls that don't unroll so easily. You're starving but the smell of the pumpkin pie is making you nauseous. Your family from near and far show up, kicks off their shoes, help themselves to your kitchen and reserve. You see they have brought a grocery bag. It's filled with Tupperware. "What's all that for?," you ask wiping sweat from your brow. "Oh, that?" they respond sweetly. "I can't go home empty handed can I?" as they scope your perfectly browned turkey.

What's your initial reaction?

kelley72

Well, we all bring dishes so I can see how I'd get a little aggravated if that were not the case but we always share/send or get leftovers.  It's just part of being a family

Natty13umppo

I cooked for 14.  No, wait.  I waaaaaaay overcooked for 14.  I wanted people to take leftovers so badly and most were traveling so they couldn't.  I had even stored up some plastic containers so I could give them to people to take home.  After cooking all that food, I had no interest in the leftovers.  Not to mention, we had way too many to consume just ourselves.  Will cook less next time. 

yalllow

lovethatdirtywater said:

NorthernLghts said:

I have no problems with family taking leftovers home with them but I do think its a little rude that they expect the leftovers and bring their own Tupperware.

This. We always share leftovers in my family, but never once have I seen a family member be so presumptuous as to bring their own Tupperware. That's weird. 

Quote box fail:

This ..... I was freaking out.

jrw526

lovethatdirtywater said:

NorthernLghts said:

I have no problems with family taking leftovers home with them but I do think its a little rude that they expect the leftovers and bring their own Tupperware.

This. We always share leftovers in my family, but never once have I seen a family member be so presumptuous as to bring their own Tupperware. That's weird. 

This. We divide leftovers up so everyone gets a little of everything. No one brings their own Tupperware and assumes they will get leftovers.

yalllow

DisneyAddict1 said:

I'm not seeing where the big deal is to spend the energy freaking out?

Isn't the point in the holidays to share and give? Isn't that why we cook the meals, to share with our loved ones?

The way I see it they are saving you from handing over your containers that you'll probably never see again.

Okay - let me clarify. This did not happen to me - it was a situation described to me after a friend worked her ass off cooking for 30+ people. I was "freaking out" when she showed me the picture of the grocery bag filled with the visitors own Tupperware to help themselves to leftovers. I usually almost am traveling to someone else's home for Thanksgiving/Christmas but I have never ever thought about asking for leftovers or assuming that I would get some just because I'm family and the cook should share their leftovers. 

As agreed above, IMO it is presumptuous (family or not) that the person who shelled out all the money for the dinner would give me something to take home, even if I drove 3 hours to share it with them. 

It's easy to say "Tis' the season," but that doesn't mean I should help myself to someone's stuff just because they are family. 

WisconsinCheese12

It depends.... I said don't touch my turkey because I'm making a turkey here in 2 weeks and don't plan on sending any of with anyone!

But my grandma sends home leftovers with us every year! We leave her what she wants for her and my GPa and then we all fight for what's left. Typically since my uncles greedy family stopped coming to any holidays there is plenty to go around!!

If/when I start having holidays in my home I will send home left overs if there are plenty to go around.

They just did a survey on the chew like this but about wine. Should they take home their wine they brought if no one drinks it. I say if the host reminds you about your wine and demands you take it home you do (also you probably brough crappy wine) haha

angelsnight

My mil actually asked us if we brought Tupperware. If we had a ton of leftovers I would want people to take them but if there was just a few I'd want them for myself. Definitely wait to be asked.

defri17

Absolutely take anything leftover from what you brought, and if there's extra of other dishes or people are willing to share, more power to ya! My folks host each year and don't want to keep everything that's left, so we're expected to take back anything left from our contribution and often go home with other items.

As far as wine goes, I feel like you bring it and leave it. A gift to the host and hostess, if you will. I was reprimanded once for taking my wine home when it wasn't used, so that's been burned into my being.

SurpriseAt39

I'd be shocked at someone presuming they get leftovers. I rarely host dinners, and I generally gauge what will be eaten fairly well so there are very few leftovers at all.

If it was potluck, take home what you brought.

Wine is a gift toward dinner or a gift for the host/hostess. If we take beer we share but generally bring home leftovers. (Most friends don't drink our beer and we don't drink theirs - as in 'like'). * MIL almost forced me to take a bottle of wine home that I gave her. (Now I wonder if she doesn't like that kind...I'll find out at Christmas if she still has it. Lol)

alfriedeck

We bring our own tupperware to Thanksgiving, but this is at the request of my MIL who is cooking.  She always makes extra. Its tradition to go to the ranch for a week after Thanksgiving so we always take the leftovers with us and nothing goes to waste

SurpriseAt39

alfriedeck said:

We bring our own tupperware to Thanksgiving, but this is at the request of my MIL who is cooking.  She always makes extra. Its tradition to go to the ranch for a week after Thanksgiving so we always take the leftovers with us and nothing goes to waste

I think that is reasonable.
She ASKED you to bring it.

But someone just ASSUMING they get some and bringing their own and shoving it in your face... NO.

Maybe keeping it in your car and if you get asked if you want left overs...maybe.

SurpriseAt39

See, after reading @Monster1984‌ 's reply, I'm reminded that;
1) I don't want leftovers at MIL's house. DH and I both find her food mediocre most of the time. We are not big dessert people either, so no need to take that home.
2) if I'm the hostess/cook, there's either JUST enough leftover for DH and I and the kids, or I don't want to share because its so awesome.
3) most times we are traveling to be with family, so we are staying at a hotel. Quite often there is either no fridge, or no way to heat leftovers, not to mention we would need plates, forks etc.
4) we rarely eat leftovers, so I try not to have any.

pepperedmoth

Hmmm. When I host I am not upset if someone asks for leftovers. I find it flattering.

Usually my parents host though and they have the huge family farmhouse so everyone stays there for several days over the holidays and we eat the leftovers together. So it's a non-issue.

When I am with others I never presume.

I leave any unopened wine I brought as a gift to the host but I am not upset when I host if someone takes theirs back.

But I just don't get upset about this sort of thing either.....

kimberpoo

wine/beer/other similar items brought to a home stay with the hostess. this includes any food you've brought to share, although of course you take your serving dishes home. that's just our way, but I imagine that might be proper etiquette too.

bringing Tupperware to a dinner is SO rude. although we, and any part of our family hosting, always insist that people take leftovers if they want them, we also have sturdy paper plates on which said leftovers go, and then are covered in foil or plastic. plenty to go around, happy to share. the presumption of presenting someone with your Tupperware though is rude. especially if that Tupperware hound took the vast majority of the leftovers and didn't leave much for anyone else.