Rude kids at baby shower

meandthebirds

Hi everyone I was wondering how you would go about kids at baby showers that can't follow rules. There are a lot of kids in my family but they are not well behaved , if I don't invite the kids most of my family members won't get to attend and I want to share that day with them. How do you keep them from being in the food when you are having a buffet? I apologize if there's some mistakes in the wording English is a second language.

Amstreagle

First question, are you hosting your own shower?
Secondly they are not your children so you have no control over them. That being said you need to decide what is more important to you, having a larger group with kids being kids or a smaller group.

dufferoo

If it is important to you to invite children, you could always hire babysitters to entertain them in another room. The fact is, showers can be a bit tedious even for grown women, so it really is hard to expect children to sit still and behave that long.

VOR

You do need to find out if your hostess can accommodate kids or not.  If they can, then as said - it's up to you as to what you want.  Big w/ unruly kids or smaller w/o kids. 

I'd think that if your family really wants "share in the day" with you (which,sorry, I'm kind of eye rolley about because it's really JUST a shower.  not a wedding) - they'll get their DHs to take care of their child, or hiree a sitter, or... something. 

It actually shouldn't fall on your host to have to accommodate a bunch of kids because the parents refuse to go anywhere w/o their child.

PrimRoseMama

What does your hostess say? The last shower I hosted I offered childcare next door to the shower house. I introduced the provider to all parents & the kids played games & had story time etc. while the adults relaxed. Is it possible to arrange child care?

If child care is not an option then provide some kid friendly snacks, toys & table of stuff. In my experience kids don't usually go BSC unless they are bored, hungry or tired.

Truthfully I don't feel a shower is an appropriate place for kids, but if your guests can't get childcare your host might have to draw the line. If your hostess doesn't want kids then that's it.

daniellelea1985

At all our family showers we make sure there is an older cousin that can be a ring leader and keep them all occupied in the corner. Coloring pages keep them pretty occupied. We just had a large shower for a cousin and there were lots of little kids, it wasn't a problem. I think they just need direction... otherwise you're gonna have a circus lol

HStrawberry

I'm not a fan of kids running around at showers but as previous posters have said, a babysitter in another area of the house works wonders. Have lots of snacks and activities prepared to keep them busy and you won't even know they are there

YogaSandy

I was always under the impression that it is rude to bring kids to someone else's shower. Of course, I had no issue when my cousin brought her girls to mine - because they're sweet, I love them, they love my son, and are well behaved. And I dont care (which only matters when it is my shower). But I don't bring my son to other showers and I usually bring him everywhere. Now when I went to my cousin's wife's shower, everyone asked where DS was, so maybe I'm wrong on this one. I just thought etiquette said leave children at home (because it takes away from the baby/mother of the shower).

LMK

jennypolkadots

VOR said:

You do need to find out if your hostess can accommodate kids or not.  If they can, then as said - it's up to you as to what you want.  Big w/ unruly kids or smaller w/o kids. 

I'd think that if your family really wants "share in the day" with you (which,sorry, I'm kind of eye rolley about because it's really JUST a shower.  not a wedding) - they'll get their DHs to take care of their child, or hiree a sitter, or... something. 

It actually shouldn't fall on your host to have to accommodate a bunch of kids because the parents refuse to go anywhere w/o their child.

This. Most people have kids. They figure out something else to do with them for important events like this if they truly want to attend. It's really NBD. The other option is to hire a sitter for them, but this is not something you would be doing because you wouldn't be throwing your own shower. 

YogaSandy

Bliss+Berry said:

YogaSandy said:

I was always under the impression that it is rude to bring kids to someone else's shower. Of course, I had no issue when my cousin brought her girls to mine - because they're sweet, I love them, they love my son, and are well behaved. And I dont care (which only matters when it is my shower). But I don't bring my son to other showers and I usually bring him everywhere. Now when I went to my cousin's wife's shower, everyone asked where DS was, so maybe I'm wrong on this one. I just thought etiquette said leave children at home (because it takes away from the baby/mother of the shower).

LMK

If children are invited, they will be included on the invitation. There is no rule of etiquette about them taking away attention from the guest of honor.

Makes sense. Same as if a wedding invitation does not have DS's name on it (or say and family), he is not invited. Thanks. Not sure why I never thought of it that way; the couple times I've been to showers since he's been born, I left him at home with DH.

chicagojackie

I have been grateful in that the two baby showers I attended after DD was here, and she was nursing, the hostesses both handwrote on the invite that "baby DD is invited too" or something like that.

Exclusively breastfeeding a newborn is hard and I was struggling so much with pumping I would have had to miss the party if it wasn't made clear they were OK with me bringing her. And I would have been too embarrassed or worried it was tacky to ask. And it was so, so good to get dressed up and get out of the house.

VOR

chicagojackie said:

I have been grateful in that the two baby showers I attended after DD was here, and she was nursing, the hostesses both handwrote on the invite that "baby DD is invited too" or something like that.

Exclusively breastfeeding a newborn is hard and I was struggling so much with pumping I would have had to miss the party if it wasn't made clear they were OK with me bringing her. And I would have been too embarrassed or worried it was tacky to ask. And it was so, so good to get dressed up and get out of the house.

While I do think it should be stated (as it was in your case), I do think babies under 3 months should be an exception.  Between nursing, not on a bottle yet, and perhaps just the new mom's lack of comfort with leaving her baby already - babies that young should be allowed.  Most of the time, they are sleeping or just hanging out w/ the mom.  Not being disruptive by running around, trying to open gifts, etc. 

meandthebirds

Our family usually invites all the children , in my opinion they are just too crazy and I don't want to hear the yelling. My host is throwing a coed shower and the fathers won't be able to stay home to watch the children. Is it rude to just ask those specific children not to attend?

meandthebirds

My host is also a family member. Can she inform my cousin with the kids that the children will all be placed in a section of the church and if they do not want to do that then they can stay home?