Want to TTC but.... Frustrated! Help!! — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

Want to TTC but.... Frustrated! Help!!

I am so ready to start TTC. unfortunately, hubby just isn't. He doesn't even want to think about it until next year. It just feels like a long ways a way. In the meantime, I've been trying everything to keep my mind off of it. Picking up new projects, starting new hobbies, working on our home and our relationship. For some reason, the thought of having my own baby will pop into my mind unexpectedly - during any activity! It's frustrating because I know my husband isn't ready yet. It didn't help that at the thanksgiving table (with his brother's wife's family) he told everyone I was baby hungry. That only makes it more real to me when he is sharing it with others! I don't want to feel like I'm obsessing over it, but it's only a thought away. I was never like this, until the past few months. (I got my IUD in May -- could that play a role at all???).
Anyway, any suggestions (besides being around other people's kids--doesn't help!) on how to keep the baby hunger away until hubby is ready?

Re: Want to TTC but.... Frustrated! Help!!

  • Good luck with that... I dealt with it for 4 years until DH was finally ready. Just curious your and YH's age? Anyway... welcome to the board. Read the newbie blog for additional information for when you're finally starting TTC... until then the BOTB board may have more advice.

    Oops, I thought I was posting this on BOTB.
  • "Baby hungry???"
    Married to DH (aka the love of my life) since June 17th, 2006

  • Make a list of everything you want to do before you have kids. Big things, little things, day trips, vacations. You will be surprised how fast that list will grow. Focus on those things if he isn't ready yet!!!!! My experience- when you stop pushing it, he will come around :) 
    catwine[Deleted User]
  • edited November 2014
    I'm in the same boat! (And weirdly I just got an IUD a few months back, hmm). I have baby fever, bad! My DH gave me a very vague two year timeframe (Within two years? After? Two months?). Anyways, I'm just trying to distract myself especially through the holiday season. Good luck, by the way.
  • To be honest, I was the one who wasn't ready to TTC for the longest time. DH is a few years older & has been ready for about a year. We are on our 3rd month of trying. He never pushed me, but would mention it occasionally. I just up and decided one day I was ready and went off BCP the next week. You have to let him decide.
    Married to LOML: 8/14/12

     TTC #1: Oct. 2014

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  • There's a lot you can do to prepare yourself and your body for pregnancy before you start actively TTC. Making sure you have a healthy diet and an exercise regimen is a good start. You can read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility for ways to get healthy before TTC, and to educate yourself about your cycle and what you will need to do once you do start trying. 

    If you just need to get your mind off it, I suggest just looking at things this way: once you actually have a child, he or she will be a constant, time-consuming reality from which there is no escape. Try to really appreciate and enjoy your free time. @doodlebug88 's suggestion of making a list of things you'd like to do before having a baby was a good one. It doesn't even all have to be realistic or do-able; it might just help you gain perspective about the degree of change you'll be facing once you have a kid. 

    I spent the first couple months of TTC being completely obsessed and consumed by my desire to be pregnant and have a baby. It was literally all I thought about. During the third month, I had a wake up moment and realized that, if I didn't calm down and put things into perspective a little, I could easily spend months (or years, because who knows how long it will take to get pregnant?) being focused only on one thing instead of living my life and enjoying it. I had to find a balance. Good luck to you!
    Me: 30  DH: 45
    Married: 7/19/2014
    TTC #1 since 8/2014
    BFP 1/10/15 EDD 9/22/15

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Sept. '15 Siggy Challenge: Happy Dance
  • This was big for DH and I. We each already have 1 and when we got together we decided we didn't want any more. I mentioned one evening before he went to work that I wanted him to think about a baby and I let it go. A few weeks later I asked him what his thoughts were and he was totally against it. "What do you want a baby for?" I explained to him it wasn't that I wanted a baby for the sake of having a baby.. That I wanted a baby with him, to have that experience with him, to do everything the right way that I didn't have with my first child. DH is 33 & I am 27.. I explained the pros of our ages and doing it now as opposed to later. I also let him know that I didn't want to ttc if he wasn't 100% on board and that we could wait if he wasn't ready. Once we got in to it he actually shared his fears.. "Our freedom". We talked it out and I let it go again. A few hours later he said lets go for it.
    My advice is just be open about why it's important to you now as opposed to later, let him share his concerns & talk it out together. Don't press for an answer immediately, let him stew on it for a while. Good luck!

    orange is the new black red reznikov gif

    *Jan Siggy Challenge--Mean Girls*

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    Married: 4/26/14 - DH "J": 33 - ME: 27 - DS "G": 12/21/09

    TTC #2 since October 2014 - BFP 12/2/2014!! - EDD 8/13/2015!



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