Baby shower

porstner

My baby is due on March 18th so when do you think it would be best to have my baby shower? And I know people don't normally throw themselves baby showers however I don't really have any one to do it for me do you think it would be wrong if I threw myself a shower?

suzyq0525

Don't throw yourself a shower. It's tacky.

Whitfry

You ought to check out the baby shower board to get some good ideas for what is appropriate and what isn't.

You should not throw yourself a baby shower. It's a bad idea all around. And as pp said, the money you would spend on favors and food and whatnot could be better spent on purchasing items for your baby.

ETA I'm pretty sure this poster is just MUDding all over the place.

hetispagetti

Don't throw one for yourself! I don't really see the need to have one, especially if no one is doing it for you as a surprise!

janda426

I always wonder who people plan on inviting to their shower if they have no one close enough to THROW them one. Will it just be people who you aren't close to at all but good enough to buy you a present?

pearldee

There are occasions in which I think it's okay to throw your own shower. For example: if your friends and family are coming from all over the country and world to attend the shower and have to make plans months in advance in order to attend. My family is in the South, close friends coming from NYC, husband's family is in Asia. Military friends coming from all over. We were planning a weekend in which everyone could fly in for the shower since we found out we were pregnant. Make your own plans. Do what you want. There's always an exception to the rule.

Skrittens

pearldee said:

There are occasions in which I think it's okay to throw your own shower. For example: if your friends and family are coming from all over the country and world to attend the shower and have to make plans months in advance in order to attend. My family is in the South, close friends coming from NYC, husband's family is in Asia. Military friends coming from all over. We were planning a weekend in which everyone could fly in for the shower since we found out we were pregnant. Make your own plans. Do what you want. There's always an exception to the rule.

^^^just no.

There is no situation where throwing your own shower is ok. My closest family and friends are in the south. I live in the north and have some friends and family here. I have heard that friends or family here might throw me a shower - it will be tiny I am sure. My sister has also offered to throw me one closer to her home, but I am done travelling until after the baby. I would never expect friends to fly in for a shower - although if we do host a meet the baby (no gifts!!!!!!!!!) I may invite out of town guests - not because I expect them but so they don't feel left out.

lsilva19

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

janda426

lsilva19 said:

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

Oh you mean etiquette? Common courtesy? Manners? Giving a shit about your guests and making them comfortable? Clearly you don't care about these things and nothing we say applies to you as you will do whatever you want. We're referring to only people who care about others more than themselves. Run along if you're not interested in hearing that.

janda426

pearldee said:

There are occasions in which I think it's okay to throw your own shower. For example: if your friends and family are coming from all over the country and world to attend the shower and have to make plans months in advance in order to attend. My family is in the South, close friends coming from NYC, husband's family is in Asia. Military friends coming from all over. We were planning a weekend in which everyone could fly in for the shower since we found out we were pregnant. Make your own plans. Do what you want. There's always an exception to the rule.

People are flying in from Asia to be at your baby shower? Must be a fucking rager.

What you wrote doesn't even make sense. You're trying to say someone else is incapable of finding a date that works for the majority of your guests. Funny, cause my mom and MIL managed to figure out a date that works for most of my guests. Stop trying to pretend your etiquette violation is okay just because you're special. If you're gonna be tacky just own up to it.

urani

lsilva19 said:

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

Lol @ your post history. 4 of 7 posts are about baby showers and how we're so rude when we tell people not to throw their own. 

You must feel very strongly about the right to throw your own shower.

Get on down with your tacky self, sister.

janda426

urani said:

lsilva19 said:

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

Lol @ your post history. 4 of 7 posts are about baby showers and how we're so rude when we tell people not to throw their own. 

You must feel very strongly about the right to throw your own shower.

Get on down with your tacky self, sister.

--end quote--

Lmao.

Am I the only one who gets a "forever alone" vibe from throwing your own shower? Like isn't that just embarrassing? Why do people want everyone to know that no one wanted to step up and throw them a shower and they had to do it themselves? Idk. I would stay far from that if no one offered. Shit, we bought all the big things we need ourselves anyway.

mpeabody1990

Hopefully you won't have to throw your own shower.. but I'm due March 19th and plan on having it the middle of January.

lsilva19

janda426 said:

lsilva19 said:

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

Oh you mean etiquette? Common courtesy? Manners? Giving a shit about your guests and making them comfortable? Clearly you don't care about these things and nothing we say applies to you as you will do whatever you want. We're referring to only people who care about others more than themselves. Run along if you're not interested in hearing that.

I don't have family or friends who would feel uncomfortable. My friends are not snobs like most of yall. You are entitled to do whatever makes you happy. Now carry on!

lsilva19

earthian said:

lsilva19 said:

janda426 said:

lsilva19 said:

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

Oh you mean etiquette? Common courtesy? Manners? Giving a shit about your guests and making them comfortable? Clearly you don't care about these things and nothing we say applies to you as you will do whatever you want. We're referring to only people who care about others more than themselves. Run along if you're not interested in hearing that.

I don't have good manners. Now carry on!

FTFY

I'm glad you're no longer in denial. Now you know what the rest of us already knew.

ngolimento

lsilva19 said:

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

Oh you mean etiquette? Common courtesy? Manners? Giving a shit about your guests and making them comfortable? Clearly you don't care about these things and nothing we say applies to you as you will do whatever you want. We're referring to only people who care about others more than themselves. Run along if you're not interested in hearing that.

I don't have family or friends who would feel uncomfortable. My friends are not snobs like most of yall. You are entitled to do whatever makes you happy. Now carry on!

Oh SWEET!  So if like, breaking other people's stuff, stealing random items that strike my fancy, and generally being a terrible person makes me happy, I am entitled to it?

OMG YAAAAAAAAY let's start a riot!

janda426

lsilva19 said:

janda426 said:

lsilva19 said:

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

Oh you mean etiquette? Common courtesy? Manners? Giving a shit about your guests and making them comfortable? Clearly you don't care about these things and nothing we say applies to you as you will do whatever you want. We're referring to only people who care about others more than themselves. Run along if you're not interested in hearing that.

I don't have family or friends who would feel uncomfortable. My friends are not snobs like most of yall. You are entitled to do whatever makes you happy. Now carry on!

--end quote--

That's so weird how you know what every single person you know would think about every single possible situation they find themselves in. You could make money off of those mind reading skills.

lsilva19

etoille said:

lsilva19 said:

janda426 said:

lsilva19 said:

If you want to throw yourself a shower I think it's perfectly fine. Who wrote this stupid rule book so many of you talk about.

Oh you mean etiquette? Common courtesy? Manners? Giving a shit about your guests and making them comfortable? Clearly you don't care about these things and nothing we say applies to you as you will do whatever you want. We're referring to only people who care about others more than themselves. Run along if you're not interested in hearing that.

I don't have family or friends who would feel uncomfortable. My friends are not snobs like most of yall. You are entitled to do whatever makes you happy. Now carry on!

So....if I said you were acting like a total fucking twat you should respect my opinion on that and not be offended right?  Since there are no rules for social discourse and people should just do what they feel?

How about instead of saying hi, welcome I just tell you fuck off?

Fine by me. Whatever floats your boat. I'm not offended easily. Sorry!

aframe77

At the risk of further offending some of your delicate impositions and strict adherence to social etiquette may I suggest that "house warming" parties are considered socially exceptable (at least that is, the last time I checked, however I am by no means an expert as some of you clearly are) And it seems to me that if it's ok to invite people over for a nice celebration for the addition of a new home, (where they are given the option of bringing gifts from a registry) then the celebration of an addition of a new human being should be equally acceptable. Also, baby showers take planning, time and money. Some women may not want their friends to feel obligated to that responsibility. I say feel free to celebrate your new baby however you want. Don't worry about the people morally offended by this radical non-traditional approach. They always have the option to decline the invitation and miss out on the fun!

aframe77

I think we've found a solution! Just be sure to clearly label the invitations with a "Baby Warming Party" instead of a "Baby Shower" and all will be right with the world:)

MangomamaFL

I would leave room for a "Surprise" Baby Shower. When I was pregnant with my first my friends threw a surprise baby shower.  I didn't even have a registry for my first.  I did suspect that the barbecue was a baby shower before I showed up.

janda426

aframe77 said:

I think we've found a solution! Just be sure to clearly label the invitations with a "Baby Warming Party" instead of a "Baby Shower" and all will be right with the world:)

Why did you even bump this? Who are you? This thread was over with.

Anyway, a housewarming party is hosted by the homeOWNERS seeing as they're the only ones who can throw a party in THEIR home. If you register for a housewarming party that's fucking tacky, I'm not sure where you decided that was a normal thing- there has never been a registry for any housewarming party I've been to, typically I'll bring a bottle of alcohol or a gift card because the hosts are opening their home to me.

A baby shower literally only benefits the parents to be- they are the only people receiving anything. It's literally in the name: a SHOWER. A housewarming party is gathering everyone together to come see your new home and and feel welcome.

So no you didn't offend any of our precious souls because this issue has been addressed already, and you're still wrong. Throw a "forever alone" baby shower for yourself if you don't care about etiquette or social norms: this advice is solely for those who give a shit about how they present themselves.

Feel free to head back wherever you came from now.

janda426

janda426 said:

I always wonder who people plan on inviting to their shower if they have no one close enough to THROW them one. Will it just be people who you aren't close to at all but good enough to buy you a present?

Oh and @aframe77‌ please address this logic for me as well since you have all the answers.

It's not up to anyone to decide how their friends or family spend their money, and that involves deciding they don't want them to be put out on spending money for a shower. If you don't have anyone close enough willing to throw you a shower, you don't have anyone to invite to said shower you threw for yourself. Sorry.

DM718

aframe77 said:

At the risk of further offending some of your delicate impositions and strict adherence to social etiquette may I suggest that "house warming" parties are considered socially exceptable (at least that is, the last time I checked, however I am by no means an expert as some of you clearly are) And it seems to me that if it's ok to invite people over for a nice celebration for the addition of a new home, (where they are given the option of bringing gifts from a registry) then the celebration of an addition of a new human being should be equally acceptable. Also, baby showers take planning, time and money. Some women may not want their friends to feel obligated to that responsibility. I say feel free to celebrate your new baby however you want. Don't worry about the people morally offended by this radical non-traditional approach. They always have the option to decline the invitation and miss out on the fun!

Never been to a housewarming that had a regisrty - probably because that's tacky.

Whitfry

I miss the baby daddy troll. This feels so lackluster now.

aframe77

I stand corrected. As I mentioned, I'm no expert. So I truly appreciate all the polite, tactful and classy responses. I have been enlighten to the ways of good manners. I will be sure to shun and reprimand all women who are too pathetic to have someone throw them a baby shower. (However I still might attend because I enjoy parties but I promise to dissaprove secretly) And I also apologies for reopening old wounds by having the audacity to comment on a forum. It was unintentional and I hope no one was too badly injured. Except of course unless you are throwing your own baby shower, in which case I do not extend my apologies, kindness or understanding, you are the scum of the earth.

janda426

aframe77 said:

I stand corrected. As I mentioned, I'm no expert. So I truly appreciate all the polite, tactful and classy responses. I have been enlighten to the ways of good manners. I will be sure to shun and reprimand all women who are too pathetic to have someone throw them a baby shower. (However I still might attend because I enjoy parties but I promise to dissaprove secretly) And I also apologies for reopening old wounds by having the audacity to comment on a forum. It was unintentional and I hope no one was too badly injured. Except of course unless you are throwing your own baby shower, in which case I do not extend my apologies, kindness or understanding, you are the scum of the earth.

Do you feel better now? Got it all out of your system?

I use sarcasm to avoid logic sometimes too. It's okay.

janda426

stefmxo said:

happymamax2 said:

aframe77 said:

At the risk of further offending some of your delicate impositions and strict adherence to social etiquette may I suggest that "house warming" parties are considered socially exceptable (at least that is, the last time I checked, however I am by no means an expert as some of you clearly are) And it seems to me that if it's ok to invite people over for a nice celebration for the addition of a new home, (where they are given the option of bringing gifts from a registry) then the celebration of an addition of a new human being should be equally acceptable. Also, baby showers take planning, time and money. Some women may not want their friends to feel obligated to that responsibility. I say feel free to celebrate your new baby however you want. Don't worry about the people morally offended by this radical non-traditional approach. They always have the option to decline the invitation and miss out on the fun!

Most people don't feel obliged to bring a gift from the registry for a house warming party, where as for a baby shower it is the point of going to the party, to figuratively, "shower da baby."

So yeah, still a no.

Actually, I always bring a gift to a house warming.

--end quote--

Because there's a registry making you feel obligated to or because you want to? That's the difference.

greeneyedgirl23

I wouldn't throw yourself a huge shower. However I do think it's ok to invite ppl to your house for a smaller gathering. I understand that even if you have ppl you are close to , they may not have the $ to throw you a shower even if they want to. But I'm sure your close family and friends will all try to help you out with whatever they can.

janda426

greeneyedgirl23 said:

I wouldn't throw yourself a huge shower. However I do think it's ok to invite ppl to your house for a smaller gathering. I understand that even if you have ppl you are close to , they may not have the $ to throw you a shower even if they want to. But I'm sure your close family and friends will all try to help you out with whatever they can.

None of this is logical and is based heavily in assumption. Your idea is to invite all of these people who she's assuming can't afford to help throw a shower to instead buy her gifts while she spends the money on a shower that should be going towards things her baby needs. What a circle of fuckery.

cogletree

I'm due March 15th and my sister is planning my shower for January.

janda426

cogletree said:

I'm due March 15th and my sister is planning my shower for January.

Welcome to the thread.

Whitfry

cogletree said:

I'm due March 15th and my sister is planning my shower for January.

Cool story, bro

FrecklesInside

Lolz. This thread was fun. I want to shout out to @janda426, and @etoille. I feel like this thread could have used some @goofygoff and maybe more spinning hedgehogs.

cafecreme

Off topic, but I just gave some input on a shower invite. First off, she was asking how to add the Dad's name because "not everyone their inviting knows the mom-to-be", and I noticed at the bottom it says "In lieu of cards, bring a book". 

Knowing my etiquette from TB, I told her that it was tacky, and to take it out, and also if the father won't be present, then why add his name? ...would it be so bad if some random cousins or friend of friends didn't show up that the MTB didn't know? 

20 other women chimed in and said I was in the wrong, and it was cute, and to add the dad's name regardless if he isn't there. So, they pretty much turned it around on me. Womp womp. 

cafecreme

pearsforpoops said:

cafecreme said:

Off topic, but I just gave some input on a shower invite. First off, she was asking how to add the Dad's name because "not everyone their inviting knows the mom-to-be", and I noticed at the bottom it says "In lieu of cards, bring a book". 

Knowing my etiquette from TB, I told her that it was tacky, and to take it out, and also if the father won't be present, then why add his name? ...would it be so bad if some random cousins or friend of friends didn't show up that the MTB didn't know? 

20 other women chimed in and said I was in the wrong, and it was cute, and to add the dad's name regardless if he isn't there. So, they pretty much turned it around on me. Womp womp. 

I got a shower invite that said something about "MTB & FTB are welcoming Baby Xxxx on xx/xx/2014" and please come to the shower blah blah blah.

I found it confusing because only I was invited (not DH, and it was for a cousin of DH's) so I didn't know if the FTB would be there or not. I didn't know whether to put his name on the card. 

I thought it was weird.

Yes, very weird! 

DM718

cafecreme said:

Off topic, but I just gave some input on a shower invite. First off, she was asking how to add the Dad's name because "not everyone their inviting knows the mom-to-be", and I noticed at the bottom it says "In lieu of cards, bring a book". 

Knowing my etiquette from TB, I told her that it was tacky, and to take it out, and also if the father won't be present, then why add his name? ...would it be so bad if some random cousins or friend of friends didn't show up that the MTB didn't know? 

20 other women chimed in and said I was in the wrong, and it was cute, and to add the dad's name regardless if he isn't there. So, they pretty much turned it around on me. Womp womp. 

Babycenter?  I got called a hypocrite there for commenting that you only get one baby shower and one wedding shower (someone else had suggested you also get a shower for every wedding you have).  I was also told that if you don't have a party with a list of items you need for your new baby, nobody will be thoughtful enough to bring modest gifts when they meet the baby, or maybe get you something you could use for the holidays, since "not everyone has a family like you do" (but if you don't, why do you think people want to come to the shower for your second or third child)?

cafecreme

DM718 said:

cafecreme said:

Off topic, but I just gave some input on a shower invite. First off, she was asking how to add the Dad's name because "not everyone their inviting knows the mom-to-be", and I noticed at the bottom it says "In lieu of cards, bring a book". 

Knowing my etiquette from TB, I told her that it was tacky, and to take it out, and also if the father won't be present, then why add his name? ...would it be so bad if some random cousins or friend of friends didn't show up that the MTB didn't know? 

20 other women chimed in and said I was in the wrong, and it was cute, and to add the dad's name regardless if he isn't there. So, they pretty much turned it around on me. Womp womp. 

Babycenter?  I got called a hypocrite there for commenting that you only get one baby shower and one wedding shower (someone else had suggested you also get a shower for every wedding you have).  I was also told that if you don't have a party with a list of items you need for your new baby, nobody will be thoughtful enough to bring modest gifts when they meet the baby, or maybe get you something you could use for the holidays, since "not everyone has a family like you do" (but if you don't, why do you think people want to come to the shower for your second or third child)?

Nope, it was a local mom group on FB. 

nlinscott11

So, genuine question as I am not one in the ways of proper baby etiquette, for a second child if friends and family are asking what to buy for little one is it considered tacky to do a registry so they know what you still need? We have bought all of our big ticket items so were not expecting anything lavish. I didn't have a registry with my first, nor a baby shower. Just a small family get together with my closest family and friends. Tacky?