Guilt

mylittlegemini

Hi ladies. So I'm having a difficult time with something. In a previous post, I wrote about how the day I knew I was miscarrying was the same day I had an important job interview. One that I've waited for for years. Go figure both would happen on the same day. Having to do that interview knowing something was wrong and that I didn't feel pregnant anymore was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It turns out that I ended up getting the job but can't help feeling guilty for being a little excited that I got it. It's been three weeks now that I've miscarried and my emotions are all over the place. I ended up losing something important but gained something important too. I feel devastated and sad but happy at the same time. It's so bittersweet but I can't help feel super guilty :-(

mylittlegemini

If it meant I could have my baby back and not have the job, I would take that option in a heart beat. Wish I could have had both </3

ashleyann62215

Maybe this new job will keep you busy and help you feel more productive. I know I feel that way when I work. I hope you like it and it can give you something to look forward to. Try to let yourself look forward to it. That's what your angel would want. (Hugs)*

Nikolie93

First of all, congrats on the job!

Second, there is no reason to feel guilty. Getting that job and being excited about it doesn't mean you are less sad about your loss. 

I remember the first time I went out after my 1st MC, I felt the same way. I then realized that it would do me no good to live a life where I only felt I could be miserable because I was guilty of feeling happy. 

Take all the good you can in your life...and be happy about it *hug*

mylittlegemini

@leloyd @Nikolie93 @ashleyann62215 Thank you so much ladies for the encouraging words. I feel a lot better after reading your advice. I know I should be happier but I think it's because when I think about getting the job, it brings me back to the interview where I had to put on a show. It really was a bittersweet day. I am going to try to have a more positive outlook on this opportunity. I worked so hard for it and now I have it. I should embrace it!

bumpuser10605721

I know the feeling of the guilt. I struggle almost daily when Im smiling or happy or laughing and feeling guilty about that. Or if Im not think about what happened I almost punish myself. Its better some day and worse others. I guess time will heal. *hugs to you*

Nikolie93

Time will heal @kingscross145‌. I'm not saying it goes away forever but it does get easier.

4N6s

Congrats on the new job. Don't feel guilty!
Everything happens for a reason.

mylittlegemini

Thanks ladies! Hugs to u all! xo