12 years since my last baby--and I"m 43. What's different now?

woodberries

My 4th child is 12 and I felt strongly the need to have another child and leave it in God's hands. I had the copper IUD removed and went through 2-3 weeks of crazy hormones feeling pregnant without being pregnant (apparently the copper IUD can do that). Then this past month I wanted to use condoms because I managed to schedule tonsil surgery! But alas, I misplaced them at that moment. 2-3 weeks later, I got a positive test. Life has it's own irony.

So far it's been so weird and I keep wondering how most people find their later pregnancies different?
1. What do I need to be more careful about?

2. What tends to be worse?

3. What tends to be better?
4. How does seeing the doctor different? How early do I need to go see an OB? Do they see you more?  What do they do different now that I'm "aged" ? 

(In the US--I know different countries can be different).

Samuelismomma

Congrats and welcome. I can't really answer your questions because I had first at 39 and pregnant at 42. Ladies are great here sure you will get answers!

mandyreads

Welcome! ! I have seen some women on here who are 40+ and not considered HR. They go to the Dr and be seen like a 20 something would. Or it could be the other way around. I am only 36 and it has been 7 yrs since my last and I have found I am more exhausted than I was with any of my pregnancies.

edit: I shouldn't be allowed to comment first thing in the morning from my phone. So many errors!

topaz7777

The 1st trimester testing is better!  They do the NIPT test which is much less invasive than an Amnio or CVS and gives a much more accurate result with no risk.  If you search this board you will see a lot of information on that test.  Most mother's here seem to just have the additional 1st trimester screening, and additional U/S and non stress tests towards the end of pregnancy, but otherwise it's pretty much the same as if you were younger and pregnant.

NeonNoon

Congrats and welcome to the board

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hummingjay

My youngest is 11 and here I am 39w along. Here are differences that I recall: 

• I have an EDD based on my LMP and another EDD based on the dating U/S
• I did the Panorama test at 10 weeks to find out the baby's sex (this also set me at low-risk for a list of chomosome issues)
• Im not considered high-risk just based on age
• They dont refer to me as AMA because I've had children
• Some of the terms have changed (I cant list them all) 
  
• Smart phones are a big deal (and apps)

woodberries

Thanks ladies! 
Hummingjay... What is AMA?
What are some good apps?

niknak1208

I will be 37 when I deliver.  I asked my HR doc the same question and she said there's nothing extra they really do except for maybe non stress tests. I don't know if you've ever had a non stress test but I loved them. lol  They can put me on a nice comfortable bed with dimmed lighting.. juice an magazines anytime they want to.    

I'm considered high risk because I lost our baby girl at 20 weeks in 2011.. I've since had a successful pregnancy but we take caution because we don't really know what happened.  

lianeski

...What is AMA?

AMA means advanced maternal age

harmonicbabe26

hummingjay said:

My youngest is 11 and here I am 39w along. Here are differences that I recall: 

• I have an EDD based on my LMP and another EDD based on the dating U/S
• I did the Panorama test at 10 weeks to find out the baby's sex (this also set me at low-risk for a list of chomosome issues)
• Im not considered high-risk just based on age
• They dont refer to me as AMA because I've had children
• Some of the terms have changed (I cant list them all) 
  
• Smart phones are a big deal (and apps)

This is interesting. How would prior children make you not AMA if you're over 35?? It can only make you a multigravida which in Latin means multiple pregnancies...

jennytones

I'm pregnant with my 4th at 38 and my diagnosis is elderly multigravida!! Sounds terrible right?! I'm not considered high risk though.

charlie+7

I'm 35 with my first and having terrible symptoms migraines, MS, diahorrea, dizzy and tired. All drs tests are fine and mum says it might be worse because I'm older. What have you ladies found or am I just unlucky?

mandyreads

charlie+7 I had horrible headaches with all 4 of my pregnancies, so I don't think that is bc of age. They finally eased up as I got into the 2nd trimester.  But the exhaustion has been practically non stop...which I think is because I am older this time (36). And possibly the ms too, because I never had it with the other 3 pregnancies.

And I actually miss the diarrhea which I had most of this pregnancy until recently. I much rather have it than the feeling of being constipated. That is just no fun!!

charlie+7

@mandyreads‌ It's by first and I'm exhausted so don't know any different. But when I started getting MS I miss my diarrhea too as that was easier

Pintobean39

Congrats!

My youngest is 16 and I'm 40 and 14 weeks. I did IVF with genetic testing so I didn't do the early genetic testing. I did have a few extra ultrasounds early on due to IVF but otherwise my OB is treating me just like I was treated with my boys 21 and 16 years ago. As far as how I feel this pregnancy is soooo much easier than my boys. I haven't really had any bothersome symptoms, I just go to bed early. I swear if they didn't tell me I was pregnant and I didn't listen to the heartbeat everyday on the Doppler I'd never guess I was pregnant.

stephjhouston

Hi, congrats on your happy news!!
Like you I decided to have another baby. I'm age 41, and my youngest is 13 years (big gap)!
I had no problem conceiving, I was so relieved after reading about how difficult it can be at this time.

I'm in the UK, and I have been put in a high risk category because my elderly father had a stroke due to a clot following open heart surgery. Apparently this one incidence of a thrombosis in my family history puts me in high risk regardless of age.

I find it exasperating that the doctors and medical staff are not taking into account, or indeed have even made any enquires to me about my lifestyle or indeed my fathers to make a comparison. My father has lived a sedate life, a heavy smoker and drinker all his life and I am completely the opposite, I run/cycle/dance 5/6 days a week! I really feel I shouldn't be counted as high risk, and should have the freedom of choice all other mothers in the UK have to choose, where to have my baby, which kind of care suits myself and baby best, and to be able to be as active as possible during the labour. I've had three, previous natural labours before and it was never a problem then. But now my Father was ill it has made such a big difference to choices I can make. Like there are none available to me.

Seriously feels like nobody is listening (within the NHS anyhow)

woodberries

It sounds like you are less high risk than many 41 yo mums. I wonder why it bothers you to be high risk? Are there more appts? tests? Or is it just insulting.. since you obviously do well for your health?

I'll be high risk for several reasons, but family history is just one.

topaz7777

stephjhouston said:

Hi, congrats on your happy news!! Like you I decided to have another baby. I'm age 41, and my youngest is 13 years (big gap)! I had no problem conceiving, I was so relieved after reading about how difficult it can be at this time. I'm in the UK, and I have been put in a high risk category because my elderly father had a stroke due to a clot following open heart surgery. Apparently this one incidence of a thrombosis in my family history puts me in high risk regardless of age. I find it exasperating that the doctors and medical staff are not taking into account, or indeed have even made any enquires to me about my lifestyle or indeed my fathers to make a comparison. My father has lived a sedate life, a heavy smoker and drinker all his life and I am completely the opposite, I run/cycle/dance 5/6 days a week! I really feel I shouldn't be counted as high risk, and should have the freedom of choice all other mothers in the UK have to choose, where to have my baby, which kind of care suits myself and baby best, and to be able to be as active as possible during the labour. I've had three, previous natural labours before and it was never a problem then. But now my Father was ill it has made such a big difference to choices I can make. Like there are none available to me. Seriously feels like nobody is listening (within the NHS anyhow)

It really depends on what they determined caused your father's clot.  My father has Factor V leiden, and after being tested, so do I.  I was very active and remain very active and athletic and hadn't had a problem, but the increase in hormones you have during pregnancy can increase your chances of a clot, heart attack, stroke, pulmonary embolism among other things.  It's also just one of many clotting disorders that can cause multiple miscarriage.  I'd talk to your doctor and ask what kind of condition he had.  I know for my sister, they just did a few extra tests and put her on baby asprin.  They did a few extra ultrasounds at the end just to make sure blood flow to the baby was good.  Is it not worth being a little extra careful if you have a higher risk?

Now for me, I ended up having a clot, and now with the hormones I have to be on an injectable blood thinner through the entire pregnancy, both to prevent miscarriage and to keep me from having a stroke, heart attack, or pulmonary embolism.  Basically, to keep me alive and safe. 

stephjhouston

It bothers me to classed as high risk, because my choices are very limited as result. I suppose more than anything I'm disappointed at not being able to birth at a midwife led unit where I can water birth or walk about and have more freedom. But rather I am to have baby delivered by a doctor, probably in a bed and be heavily monitored throughout my labour. This stresses me greatly. In past experience I find Gyne's inflexible and routine in how they do delivery.

stephjhouston

Thank you for sharing your story! It's good to know I am not alone. I have no idea what caused my fathers clot, other than, that it happened post-surgery for a failed by-pass at the Bristol Royal Infirmary. The clot had formed near his heart and went up to his head.

I understand your point about being a little more careful, and I am all for that. But with new protocols and policies in place it seems they don't want to be not only a little more careful but to take it to the extreme.

topaz7777

stephjhouston said:

Thank you for sharing your story! It's good to know I am not alone. I have no idea what caused my fathers clot, other than, that it happened post-surgery for a failed by-pass at the Bristol Royal Infirmary. The clot had formed near his heart and went up to his head. I understand your point about being a little more careful, and I am all for that. But with new protocols and policies in place it seems they don't want to be not only a little more careful but to take it to the extreme.

I was dissapointed also.  I have to be induced and monitored the entire time, have to be put on pitocin.  I was just glad I was able to have a vaginal birth at all.  I had to be taken off of blood thinners prior to induction so they could control it, but in my case, the truth of things is that it can kill me, and I'd rather live.

It really will depend on what the MFM doctors tell you.  They might just want to do a few extra ultrasounds to make sure baby is progressing, and keep an eye on you.  That might be the end of the interventions and you can have a more natural labor that you are looking for.  They will be able to tell you more about the risks for your situation. 

DD is 2yrs old, and at this point, that few hours I spent at the hospital delivering really don't matter anymore.  She's healthy, I survived the experience, I'll take it.

stephjhouston

Very true, and at the end of the day, it's when we've got our babes in our arms we forget all about what came before. I need to not lose sight of that!

It definitely sounds like your risk was high, and it is wonderful you were so carefully looked after.

I spoke to my G.P family doctors I today and she said, knowing me and my medical history, she thinks I'll be back off the high risk list after seeing this consultant and he delves into it all in more detail.
So fingers crossed for plain sailing!!

leela02

It's standard to get the whooping cough vaccine in the 3rd trimester. People who will be in regular contact with the baby (partner, grandparents, etc) are also told to get vaccinated.

You might be eligible to get a free electric breast pump through your insurance.

woodberries

Steph! Waterbirth in a center. Or even in a rented pool at home. That would be so awesome! I hope you can get downgraded to normal and have that. I would have been to afraid with my first and I tried to work it out with #s2-4 and it didn't. I couldn't afford it (insurance wouldn't pay) or didn't have anyone available in my area. I really hope I can labor in a tub instead of... on a bed, on my side, with straps all over and an IV. But I think that's what I"ll get. --Heather