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Will you take me back? Pregnancy and Loss mentioned.

FutureMrsBaldwin2012FutureMrsBaldwin2012 member
in Infertility
Hi ladies, it is with a very heavy heart that I am writing this. Our little bean has pretty much stopped growing. At our five week US everything looked on track, we saw the gestational sac and yolk sac. At six weeks we saw the gestational sac with no yolk sac and the sac was much smaller than it should have been. However at that point my RE wanted to remain optimistic and had us wait a week for another US. The worst week of my life by far. We went this past Monday for the US at 7w2d and there was significant growth, but no heart. The tech said the where the baby should be is just a mass of tissue and blood. The RE told me to stay on meds and let my OB take over. We got in with him on Monday as well and he wants us to wait ANOTHER week before he calls it. He wants to wait because of all that we have been through and he says he had seen very few cases where this has turned around. But he also said that he isn't very optimistic. I just want this hell to be over. I'm basically going through the motions of having to act pregnant until Monday. And then I'll have to have a d&c after thanksgiving. I can't believe that this is happening and to say that we are heartbroken is an understatement. We have already decided that we will take a few months to decide where to go from here. Whether that means another cycle, adoption or ending our journey.

Married 12/4/12

Began TTC 11/2012

Diagnosed as anovulatory 7/2013

Round #1 Clomid 50 mg 8/2013= BFN

Round#2 Clomid 50 mg 9/2013=BFN

First appointment with RE 9/27/2013

HSG showed left tube completely blocked, diagnosed with hypothyroid and began 50 mcg Synthroid, Vitamin D level low and began 2000 iu Vitamin D, Hubby's SA showed "super sperm" according to RE

Round#3 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 10/2013= BFN

Round #4 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 11/2013=BFN

Round #5 Clomid 50 mg (no trigger, on vacation) 12/2012= BFN

Round #1 Femara 2.5 mg, no trigger, IUI cancelled due to early ovulation 1/2014= BFN

1/25/2014= BENCHED for the first time (two leftover follies on the right)

2/7/14 Diagnosed with MTHFR/Benched

4/2014 Round #2 Femara 5mg, IUI #1=BFN

4/28/14 positive opk with no treatment while on break, confirmed with ultrasound= BFN

5/16/14 5mg Femara + trigger + TI=  BFN

6/2014 5mg Femara + trigger + TI= BFN

Awaiting IVF consultation appointment on 7/29/2014

8/8/14 Began BCP's to prep for IVF

9/16/14 Began Lupron injections

9/25/14 Began stimming for IVF #1 with Menopur and Bravelle

10/8/14 10 eggs retrieved

10/13/14 2 embryos transferred

10/21/14 BFP!!!

11/24/14 confirmed that baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, d&c scheduled 




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Re: Will you take me back? Pregnancy and Loss mentioned.

  • Pookster1020Pookster1020 member
    So sorry that you find yourself back here.  I had something similar happen to me in the beginning of Sept.  It's so hard.   You'll need the break to heal and take some time for yourself too. (((hugs))) Wishing you peace in your decision for the next steps.  
    Report Reply
  • Justone13Justone13 member
    My heart breaks for you. No words could describe the sorrow I feel for you. I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm praying for you and your SO.
    SIGGY WARNING//TICKER WARNING//PAIF

    Long of the Short:
     TTC since April 2013  DH 42 y/o I'm 30  Dh had vasectomy reversal Feb 2013 after 3 months developed scar tissue 
     First Re appt was September 2013 OOP for everything minus meds  
    DH's TESE surgery December 2013
    First cycle was February 2014 BFN none to freeze
     Second cycle was April 2014 BFP ending in Chemical Pregnancy none to freeze
     Third cycle June 2014 BFN none to freez
     Fourth cycle October 30th 28 retrieved, 13 mature and 12 fertilized
    PICSI, assisted hatching and fresh sperm from my DH's TESE surgery used
    5 FROZEN from a freeze all cycle! 
    FET completed on DECEMBER 9TH!!!
    Beta #1 13dp5dt BFP!! 800
    Beta #2 15dp5dt 2100
    Beta #3 17dp5dt 3600 
    First Scan January 5th! Everything looks great! Heart rate of 121!
    Second Scan January 20th. Baby Justone13 looks amazing. Heart rate of 175!
    Baby Girl is due August 27th
    Liv Annmarie born 8/25 7lbs 6oz 21 1/2 inches long 
    image 

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  • AngM123AngM123 member
    I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through. I can't imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling. Please take care of yourself, you and your DH are in my prayers.
    Me:30 DH:30 
    TTC since January 2013 
    Him: Excellent SA
    Me: 2 clear HSG's, perfect 28 day cycle with ovulation, all testing/blood work good
    1/23/14- **Surgery**
    Diagnosis: severe pelvic adhesions from stage 3/4 endo and old ruptured appendix
    RE Recommends IVF due to likely tubal damage
    IVF #1- November 2014 
                     Started stims 11/7. Antagonist Protocol
                     Trigger 11/17, HCG/Lupron
                     ER 11/19   27R/24m/14F
                     ET 11/24   1 little embie 
                     5 frosties!!! 
                     First ever BFP-  12/4 Beta #1: 35  12/8 Beta #2: 9  CP 

    FET #1- February 2015 



     

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  • katers79katers79 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    ***SIGGY WARNING***

    Our Story

    Me- 35, mild hypothyroidism

    DH- 29, low count due to a chromosomal abnormality, only option is IVF/ICSI with PGD.

    Married 5/13

    TTC since 8/13

    IVF/ICSI #1 ER 9/14 - 14R, 6M, 6F, 5 blasts off to PGD- 1 normal female, 2 balanced males

    FET 12/8 of 2 frosties - 1 male/1 female - stick babies stick! 

    Beta #1 10dp5dt 444! Beta #2 14dp5dt 2,340!  U/S 1/5-- TWINS!!!  EDD 8/26/15

    "You'll never see the rainbow if you can't survive the storm"

     image    image

    Pregnancy Ticker

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  • Nutmeg8484Nutmeg8484 member

    I am so sorry that you are having to do through this.

    ***Warning: loss and BFP***
    Ticker warning

    Diagnosis: PCOS
    TTC since 1/12
    Clomid w/ gyn 12/12- 2/12- BFN
    IUI #1- June 2013- BFN
    IUI #2- July 2013-BFN
    IUI #3- August 2013-BFN

    IVF #1- OCT/ NOV 2013-BFN
              3 Blasts frozen

    FET #1- February 12 2014- BFP!!
                 M/c at 5 weeks 4 days
    FET #2- July 2014- BFN

    IVF #2- Retrieval 11/4/14- 12R 12M 10F 1 blast frozen
    11/9/14 Transferred 1 BB expanding blast- BFP EDD 7/28/15


    imageimage
                 
    BabyGaga
    Report Reply
  • alpCRNAalpCRNA member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this.  My heart breaks for you and your husband.  
    Me 27 DH 29 Married since 2007, together since 2001
    Off BC since Febuary 2006 3 Clomid Cycles in 2008- symptomatic, US just showed a tilted uterus, otherwise normal, HSG normal.  DH has an ejaculatory duct obstruction and a congenital absence of the vas deferens.  This is common with cystic fibrosis carriers, but he doesn't have cystic fibrosis. IVF #1 with TESE/ICSI (Antagonist protocol) Aug 2014=BFN (poor embryo quality)   IVF #2 ICSI long lupron protocol November 2014
    imageimage
    Report Reply
  • DyorkDyork member
    I'm so sorry that you're going through this. :(
    Report Reply
  • emmuffyemmuffy member
    So very sorry for your loss

    Official diagnosis: Unexplained IF. I am 32. I have low ovarian reserve (low AMH), and poor egg quality. I've also been diagnosed with mild glandular developmental arrest (lining problems, detected with EFT).

    We are using open ID donor sperm. IUIs #1-7=BFN. IVF September 2014 antagonist protocol, 8R,5M,3F, 5 day transfer of 1 morula = BFN. IVF#2 planned for January 2015 (antagonist protocol + HGH).

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic image

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  • fjamil1fjamil1 member
    I am so sorry for your loss. :(
    Report Reply
  • StacyLH24StacyLH24 member
    I'm so sorry :(

    Me: 30  DW (aka C): 29

    Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12

    ***CP mentioned***

    We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm.  8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy.  We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET.  I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013. 

    11/14/14 -  Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good. 

    12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2

    12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)

    1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2

     ****All Welcome!****

    We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.

    image   

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  • kristyn831kristyn831 member
    I am so very sorry for your loss. ((Hugs))


    image




    Me: 33, DH: 35
    Married 10/13, TTC since 7/13
    Dx: MFI
    IUI #1 7/14: BFN
    IUI #2 8/14: BFN
    IVF #1 11/14: 20R17M15F
    Transferred 1 three day embryo! 7 frosties!
    BFP!  EDD 7/27/15



                                                                      image

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  • ronniesgirl1981ronniesgirl1981 member
    I am so sorry.
    Me: 34 | He: 40
    TTC since 08/2012
    DX: DOR




    Report Reply
  • mrsCWmrsCW member
    I am so very sorry to hear this! You were my cycle buddy & I wanted so much for things to work out for you! Hugs & prayers!!!
    image
    Me: 32, DH: 38
    married since June 2008
    TTC since March 2013
    8/2013: SA normal, my bloodwork indicated pituitary hormone imblance
    10/2013: anovulatory
    11/2013: anovulatory
    12/2013 - 3/2014: unmonitored Clomid cycles with TI, all bfn
    04/2014: HSG normal
    05/2014: Clomid + IUI, bfn;
    bloodwork retested and results normal
    06/2014: 1st monitored cycle with RE: Clomid cd3-7 (no growing follies), 
    Femara cd 10-14 (2 follies), ovidrel trigger cd17, IUI, bfn, polyp discovered during u/s
    07/2014: polypectomy
    08/2014: Follistim (50-75 iu/day) cd 2-14 (2 follies), Ovidrel cd15, IUI, crinone
    10/2014: IVF #1, 14R, 13F, 8 blasts. Freeze all due to super enlarged ovaries and a week of bed rest 
    11/2014: FET #1
    Report Reply
  • Marissa6609Marissa6609 member
    I am so sorry that you are going through this. :(




    ** Losses Mentioned **
    Me(32) - Low AMH (0.46) and DH(33) - All good!
    May 2014 - IUI (Follistim) = BFP! Ectopic. Surgery June 2014.
    August/Sept 2014 - IVF #1. BFP! Chemical Pregnancy.
    November 2014 - IVF #2; ER only - PGS testing 3 Frosties.
    December 2014 - FET #1 - Beta on 12/17!  BFP  *It's TWINS*

    image        image      image  
    Report Reply
  • stace2524stace2524 member
    I am so sorry you have to go through this. Thoughts and prayers with you and DH during this difficult time.
    ***pregnancy and loss mentioned***

    Me: 31 DH: 31
    Dx: unexplained IF
    TTC since March 2013 
    IUI#1 with OB: BFN (April 2014 - clomid 50mg)
    IUI#2 with OB: BFN (June 2014 - clomid 50mg)
    IUI#3 with OB: BFN (July 2014 - clomid 50mg)
    IUI#4 with RE: BFN (August 2014 - clomid 50mg, ovidrel 250mcg, Crinone 8%)
    IVF #1 with pICSI in November
    ER 11/13 - 14R, 13M, 11F
    ET 11/19 - 2 grade AA hatched blasts transferred
    Beta #1: 58 - BFP!!, Beta #2: 140, Beta #3: 347, Beta #4: 931
    First u/s 12/19 - baby measuring 6w4d with HR of 116
    Second u/s 12/29 - baby measuring only 7 weeks, no heart beat detected
    01/02/15 - misoprostol administered vaginally

    image
    Report Reply
  • FutureMrsBaldwin2012FutureMrsBaldwin2012 member
    Thank you ladies. I'm pretty numb feeling right now. I'm sure the closer it gets to Monday I'll go downhill again, but your words mean so much during this difficult time.

    Married 12/4/12

    Began TTC 11/2012

    Diagnosed as anovulatory 7/2013

    Round #1 Clomid 50 mg 8/2013= BFN

    Round#2 Clomid 50 mg 9/2013=BFN

    First appointment with RE 9/27/2013

    HSG showed left tube completely blocked, diagnosed with hypothyroid and began 50 mcg Synthroid, Vitamin D level low and began 2000 iu Vitamin D, Hubby's SA showed "super sperm" according to RE

    Round#3 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 10/2013= BFN

    Round #4 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 11/2013=BFN

    Round #5 Clomid 50 mg (no trigger, on vacation) 12/2012= BFN

    Round #1 Femara 2.5 mg, no trigger, IUI cancelled due to early ovulation 1/2014= BFN

    1/25/2014= BENCHED for the first time (two leftover follies on the right)

    2/7/14 Diagnosed with MTHFR/Benched

    4/2014 Round #2 Femara 5mg, IUI #1=BFN

    4/28/14 positive opk with no treatment while on break, confirmed with ultrasound= BFN

    5/16/14 5mg Femara + trigger + TI=  BFN

    6/2014 5mg Femara + trigger + TI= BFN

    Awaiting IVF consultation appointment on 7/29/2014

    8/8/14 Began BCP's to prep for IVF

    9/16/14 Began Lupron injections

    9/25/14 Began stimming for IVF #1 with Menopur and Bravelle

    10/8/14 10 eggs retrieved

    10/13/14 2 embryos transferred

    10/21/14 BFP!!!

    11/24/14 confirmed that baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, d&c scheduled 




    Report Reply
  • lebradfordlebradford member
    I'm so sorry. I went through something similar this summer, and I know how heart breaking it is. I'm so sorry you're stuck in this limbo state, which I know just adds insult to injury. If you ever want to talk, I'm definitely here to listen.
    **siggy warning**  **everyone welcome**

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    DS- 11.07.02
    DSS- 6.26.04
    Married- 6.29.13
    TTC Again- Sept. 2013
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Test Results/Diagnosis- HSG & SA totally normal
    DX: 3/2014 Prolactinoma/Hyperprolactinemia- Started cabergoline 2/2014
    5/2014 Possible mild PCOS in addition to hyperprolactinemia??
    7/2014 Adding probable tubal factor to the diagnosis list
    9/2014 And now adding hypothyroid to the list- Started synthroid 9/2014
    Cycles 1-4 - Sept.-March- All Anovulatory 
    IUI #1 March/April-  Clomid 50mg + Clomid 100mg +Trigger + IUI #1 = BFN
     IUI #2 April/May-Clomid 100mg + Clomid 150mg + Trigger + IUI #2 + Endometrin=BFN
    IUI #3- June- Follistim 75iu + Trigger + IUI #3  Benched due to a 40 mm cyst. :-(
    IUI #3- July- Follistim 75iu + Trigger + IUI #3 + Endometrin = BFP! on 7/25/14
    Slowly rising betas - Ectopic suspected on 8/8/14 & confirmed on 8/11/14
    Methotrexate on 8/12/14 -HCG negative on 9/2/14
    IVF #1- November- Antagonist protocol: 11/1: start stims, 200iu of Follistim; 11/12 ER 17R/14M/14F; 11/17 5 day transfer of two blasts, 2 blasts and 2 expanding morulas frozen; 11/22 BFP!! (On FRER at 5dp5dt)
    Betas: 9dp5dt 205, 11dp5dt 497, 14dp5dt 1,709
    u/s at 5w0d- 1 sac; u/s at 6w0d 1 baby with heartbeat, another sac without a heartbeat
    image


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  • CML11CML11 member
    I am at a loss for words. I am so sorry. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
    Report Reply
  • IfMamaAintHappyIfMamaAintHappy member
    Ugh I am so so very sorry you are going through this.  It's so hard and so horrible.  The limbo part you are in was the absolute worst for me.  My OB told me the same thing that she did have one or two cases where things suddenly changed and you don't want to act prematurely, but in the meantime it is sheer hell.  Please take care of yourself and PM or page me if you need a creepy internet shoulder to cry on.  Also, be very patient with yourself through this and cut yourself a lot of slack.

    *** siggy warning- losses mentioned- everyone welcome *****

     

    Me:  36

    DH:  42  (w/ 2 children from prior marriage)

    Us:  TTC for our 1st together since August 2013

    1st BFP:  November 2013  (m/c at 7 wks)

    2nd BFP:  February 2014  (m/c at 6 wks)

    RPL Panel started in March 2014

    3rd BFP:  May 2014 (m/c at 5 wks)

    4th BFP:  June 2014 (CP at 4 wks)

    RE appt in June 2014 (all RPL panel tests are normal...it's likely egg quality due to my age and borderline DOR)

    Baseline AFC: 8 follies

    2 IUI cycles (July and August 2014- both BFN)

    IVF #1 w/ ICSI & PGS- October 2014 (AFC: 8 follies; ER Oct 20:  5R/3M/2F;  the 2 only made it to day 3 and stopped growing before biopsy)

    key supplements: DHEA (25mg- 3x/day); CoQ10 (300 mg/day) ISWTE believer here!

    IVF #2 EPP w/ ICSI & PGS- AFC:  13 follies!   10R/6M/6F-  5 biopsied for PGS- 1 normal embryo

    FET scheduled for February 2015 delayed in order to do one more ER in hopes of getting at least 1 more normal embryo

    IVF #3 EPP w/ ICSI & PGS:  7R/5M/5F-  2 biopsied for PGS- 1 normal embryo

    FET #1 April 23, 2015:  1 PGS tested embryo transferred - BFN

    FET #2 June 30, 2015:  1 PGS tested embryo transferred- BFP!! 

     image

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  • AuroraP725AuroraP725 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. ((Hugs))
    Me - 32 H - 32
    Married July 2009
    TTC#1 since Feb 2013
    RE consult Oct 2013 due to short cycles/light periods
    Dx: Diminished ovarian reserve/unexplained thinned uterine lining
    IVF#1 May 2014 - Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix - 7R 4M 3F - 1 frosty (4AB)
    IVF#2 August 2014 - Lupron/Follistim/Menopur - 9R 4M 0F
    IVF#3 w/ICSI September 2014 - Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix - 4R 4M 4F - 1 frosty
    FET#1 Dec 2014 - Lupron/Estrace(transdermal and vaginal)/Viagra/G-CSF wash - Cancelled due to poor lining response
                                       Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
                                             Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage
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  • OceanHuttOceanHutt member
    I'm so sorry for your loss :(
    Ashley & Jeremy 10/10/10

    MFI, 50k sperm frozen, RE requires weight loss before our first cycle of IVF so now we wait.

    (+20 = total loss)
    11440622

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  • young&hopefulyoung&hopeful member
    I'm so sorry for your lost. Sending hugs & prayers your way.
    Report Reply
  • Sha259Sha259 member
    I'm so so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS))) be good to yourself, and take it one day at a time. I hope that you and your SO will get to a good place regarding your journey soon.
    Report Reply
  • bunnybun4bunnybun4 member
    I'm so, so sorry you are going through this.  I had to wait it out in limbo twice and i know how awful it is.  ((big hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

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  • KM721KM721 member
    Feeling for you throughout this month. You have certainly been on the worst roller coaster of IF. I hope that you and DH find some clarity about what you want moving forward and that you cope well physically. 
    Me: 28, no diagnosis  DH: 33, MFI, severely low morphology, diagnosed 3/14
    IVF #1: May/June 2014: 10R/8F, 1 morula transferred = BFN, nothing to freeze.
    IVF #2: July/August 2014: 18R/12M/8F, 2 blastocysts transferred = BFN, nothing to freeze.
    IVF #3: October/November 2014: 22R/17M/15F, 2 early blastocysts transferred = BFN, nothing to freeze.

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  • RangiroaRangiroa member
    I'm so sorry. I agree, waiting in limbo is really hard. Take care of yourself these next few weeks.

    ***  Losses Mentioned ***

    Me: 35 this month DH: 35

    TTC since January 2013

    2/13: BFP  4/13: MC @ 9 weeks - D&C - no chromosome testing
    7/13: BFP  10/13: MC @ 3 1/2 months - D&C - chrom test normal

    11/13: 1st RE visit for testing only - AMH .4 - FSH 11 - positive MTHFR (one copy)

    2/14: BFP 4/13 (identical mono/tri quads, 2 conjoined) - MC @ 8 weeks - D&C - chrom test normal

    10/14: RE 2nd opinion & IVF consult - Dx small uterine septum - AFC 3 total - recommended banking 3 ERs - DH slightly low morphology
    12/14: First ER cycle - EPP w/testosterone, Lupron microflare w/Saizen. 4R/3M/2F. Both abnormal. RE strongly recommends donor eggs.

     image


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