Hospital visitors

morgansWed105148

So in July my cousin gave birth to her first baby and everyone came to visit at the hospital. I really don't want this! I want my mom,dad. Brother, his gf and my husbands dad and gf. That's it!!! No aunts uncles, Co workers..ect I thought of telling these people if I call you and tell you I'm in labor don't tell anyone. Just come, people can find out after and I'm going home. I just don't want a bunch of people when I feel like shit, but I also don't want people upset. I don't know how I'm going to deal with the situation. What are your guys plans? I know I saw someone post something similar, but it seemed to be more geared to people coming to her house after the hospital and I am ok with that! Just not at the hospital!

FreddyisReady

I'm not sure about this yet. I may play it by ear and see how I feel that day. Sometimes, you can be in the hospital in labor for a couple days, and in that case, it would be nice to have friends and family stop by. I have a small circle that would stop by (parents, grandparents, siblings, BFF), nothing crazy.

Or if I'm not feeling up to it, we may not call family and friends until after the babe is born. I don't really know how everything will go.

a316b

I had no idea that the randoms would come out of the woodwork and just SHOW UP at the hospital. My MIL told her friends and distant relatives and they stopped by my hospital room with their ENTIRE family. I didn't even know some of their names. 

I learned my lesson and the second time around I told the security/nurses station that they had to call my room before admitting any visitors. You can simply have them say you are resting, or not accepting visitors at this time. I've heard some ladies give the desk a list of people who are allowed to visit the hospital room. I believe some hospitals will also list you as "private" or some such designation for those who don't want any guests. (In that case - your DH would have to walk people back to e

texasmama15

@a316b ah geez, I can totally see my MIL inviting all her friends up to the hospital. I may have to adopt this idea of calling before admitting visitors because the last thing I would want is a bunch of randoms in my room and me having to be nice when it's the last thing I want to deal with! 

Having the rest of my family (aunts/uncles/cousins) come by wouldn't bother me, as long as they don't take pictures of me--haha!

a316b

texasmama15 said:

@a316b ah geez, I can totally see my MIL inviting all her friends up to the hospital. I may have to adopt this idea of calling before admitting visitors because the last thing I would want is a bunch of randoms in my room and me having to be nice when it's the last thing I want to deal with! 

Having the rest of my family (aunts/uncles/cousins) come by wouldn't bother me, as long as they don't take pictures of me--haha!

When you go on your hospital tour, ask what their visitor policy is and make DH responsible for contacting nurses station, etc while you're recovering. 

MallyJM128

I would see if you can find out if your hospital does what PP said where you can be "private" or whatever. I know at our hospital you can be listed so that the nurses and main desk will not tell anyone that you're even in the hospital if asked.

I would also refrain from making any social media announcements of course until you're ready for visitors. Let your family know and instruct them not to spread the news yet. And if people find out, ask them to respectfully wait until you're home and you will let them know when they can visit.

Unfortunately, people may still find out and show up. I had the most random people come to see me when I had DS. Why people feel the need to show up the day or day after baby is born is beyond me.

texasmama15

a316b said:

texasmama15 said:

@a316b ah geez, I can totally see my MIL inviting all her friends up to the hospital. I may have to adopt this idea of calling before admitting visitors because the last thing I would want is a bunch of randoms in my room and me having to be nice when it's the last thing I want to deal with! 

Having the rest of my family (aunts/uncles/cousins) come by wouldn't bother me, as long as they don't take pictures of me--haha!

When you go on your hospital tour, ask what their visitor policy is and make DH responsible for contacting nurses station, etc while you're recovering. 

Great advice, thank you!

Ballet80

The only people I want are my close family and my two best friends. That's it. I just want to be left alone.

kac22

The hospital where I deliver the maternity ward is behind locked doors that you have to get permission to go into. So when a visitor shows up they page your room and ask if it's ok or not. If not, they say visitors aren't allowed right now so it isn't you saying no, it's them I thought that was awesome! 

I think a lot of it will depend on how you're feeling. For me, I was in after a CS so for 3 days and even on the 2nd day I welcomed guests because I'm not gonna lie it got a little boring! Only family though, not randoms  

Poppy715

I'm hoping to have people ask permission before coming out. When I was in a coma apparently my entire family came in and saw me. For what, I have no idea. I guess to make sure I was alive? I don't know. I had so many visitors come in. I remember waking up one time and thinking my room looked like a floral shop. There were so many people coming to pay their respects and see me. H was so exhausted he didn't know how to turn them away.

I'm really hoping to bot be on display this time. I've gone through hell and H and I deserve some alone time with this baby. Our hospital is about 45 minutes away from home. I'm hoping this diminishes uninvited visitors. There is no way people will just stop by, I hope. Maybe that's something I'll need to make clear beforehand. Tell my sister and mom to keep people away until I am feeling well enough. It all feels very hypothetical right now. Who knows what will really happen.

Pintobean39

The hospital I will deliver the maternity ward is behind locked doors and you have to sign in to visit and get a name tag. I would just tell them no visitors if I didn't want any. I didn't care with my boys.

I was in and out of the hospital so quickly with my first, 24hrs from the moment I stepped foot in the doors till I walked out only a few even knew I delivered. My second was 36hrs from admit to discharge. I didn't mine the visitors that I had because it wasn't like I was going to get any rest anyway.

beezybaby

So for DD1, I was the same as you, immediate family only.  But by the end of our two day stay, I was sort of bummed that none of my friends had come. And honestly, as enraptured as I was with the baby, I got a little bored!

So with DD2, we didn't specifically invite people, but we did leave it open.  We said they were welcome to come if they wanted.  It was great.   A few came, it broke up the time, gave the hubs a break, and filled my room with flowers and balloons and little gifts.  We will do the same this time around.

I totally understand the feeling behind not wanting many people.  And so do most people.  Just tell them. I don't think most people will get upset, especially if you tell them when they CAN come to visit at home.

Edited to clarify-I did not welcome anybody tot he hospital during labor...only after the babies were born and we were in the mother baby area.

MrsKindy40

We had so many visitors and were at the hospital for such a short time. It was so overwhelming. At one point I had 8 extra people in my room and I wanted to cry.

This time I only want immediate family. I think it's going to be overwhelming enough introducing big brother to his baby sister. I'm concentrating on just them. If people want to meet her they will have plenty of time after we get home.

smashbaby111

I will only be allowing my parents and brothers as well as hubby's parents and sisters at the hospital... Grandparents, cousins, etc. can visit at home. My mom will be staying with us to help out so she can entertain everyone while I lay around, lol... I know that I can get over stimulated in stressful situations so it will help to have a natural entertainer present to pick up my slack if I need to disconnect a bit.

putput19

Like others said, our hospital has security doors then only 2 people (plus mom and dad) are allowed in the room. If you ask, they can put a security code on your room so if people don't know the code they can't come in.

I was really, really concerned about random visitors with my daughter, turns out I ended up loving showing her off and wanted everyone around even thou I felt icky and looked horrible. ( I texted and called to ask people to visit. No one random showed up)

Jamilg

At the hospital where I deliver they ask u who u would like to allow in the room before, during, and after labor. Close family and friends were told that we wanted privacy while in the hospital and wanted only close family and friends visiting until we got home. We explained nicely and no one was offended. I did regret it though. I will tell people this time when they can visit because the hospital stay got pretty lonely last time. I wish I would've had more visitors after I got a chance to shower etc.

MooByrd

With DS I had everyone and their mother showing up at the hospital. Some people I didn't mind (like my family, my close friends etc) but then DH's random family members started showing up like his grandmother and her husband, his uncles etc... none of which who I was close with or who I had alot of contact with. Of course they showed up when DH and the baby were out of the room doing who knows what, a bath maybe, so it was me and his family hanging out in a room together (did I mention they didn't speak English?) Awkward. 

I'm not sure what I'm going to do this time. I want the time after delivery to bond with the baby/feed/SHOWER etc, but I'd also rather have these people show up at the hospital rather than at my house where I feel I'd have to entertain them.