Intro / Family Advice??

Shea7387

Hi Ladies,

I've been a lurker on here for some time now and figured I'd introduce myself as I could use some advice on a family issue!

I'm 27 and a FTM- my DH and I are very excited and so are our families however we're having a godparenting issue.

I have a sister and DH has a sister- no brothers. My sister has been VERY adamant that she needs to be the godmother... And my mother has been voicing this opinion as well stating that I need to pick my sister bc it would crush her if I didn't. Hellooo we each have a sister and someone's feeling is going to get hurt.

Unfortunately I am one of the first of my friends to have babies and don't really know protocol and don't have any experience in this.

Does the DH pick the godfather and I pick the godmother? I just feel like I'm being backed into a corner and it's not fair. Anyone have any experience with this and have any advice? I appreciate it!

samiamagirl

I agree that it's a very personal decision that needs to be decided between you and your DH. If this is for religious reasons you should politely tell your mother and sister that you have heard their request that your sister be godmother, but it's something you need to deeply discuss and pray about with your DH. Don't let them nag or bully you, these situations are the perfect opportunity to start uniting as parents and deciding what's best for your child regardless of what other's (including family) may say.

ElleMuffin

I'm Christian so we don't technically baptize children but will sometimes have a presentation service and ask family and friends to stand with you and your child to offer guidance, support, and prayer as you raise your child and as they grow to adulthood. In any case, I don't see why they both can't serve as God Mothers!

bfrankson

I have two sisters of my own, one of which I had already chosen in my heart to be the godmother of my children before kids were even in my foreseeable future... Both of my boo's siblings have four kids each and my sisters are both without children so they have become front runners to him as well. I have no clue how to break the news to my older sister. I feel you!!! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! I love them equally... Just not their husbands haha! My little sister's husband would make a perfect godfather. My older sister's husband... Not so much.

greks84

Welcome! Tell people nicely and calmly that you and your H will be deciding on the god parents after some thought and prayer. The way I am going to decide is, "who would I want me twins to be raised by if something fatal happened to my H and I?" It should also be someone who is strong in their faith and can offer spiritual guidance. Ps I'm a Christian too but H is catholic. I have no problem at all with a christening though, especially because it means so much to my H. Good luck!

sunnyday016

I think it depends on what you believe and expect of godparents. DH and I are Christians, as are our families, but we have never had godparents for the kids in our families. So we didn't choose any either. If you believe something specific for the role, then go with whoever is really best for the job. If it's just a tradition only, then pick both of them!

Shea7387

Thank you all- I really appreciate your input! I would love to have both of our sisters unfortunately I believe with the Catholic Church there has to be a godfather and godmother... Not two godmothers =( my H and I will have to really think about all of this. Luckily we've still got a good amount of time! Seeing as I'm only about 4 months in and this has been brought up a good handful of times I'm sure it won't be the last and I plan to be stern in our choices if it does come up again. At this point I wish everyone was just excited to be a grandparent/aunt and that we're having a healthy baby!

Ballet80

That is a lot of pressure to put on you! I would just tell them both they can be Godmothers and you aren't picking just one of them because you know they both love your baby so much.

rivers714

My sons dad asked if his new gf- the one he left me for when I was pregnant - could be the godmother.


After the shock of him actually being serious wore off - we did I got godmother he got godfather. I had two sisters and I picked the one who I knew loved kids. Who do you think would be better? Who do you want? Everyone will get over it eventually ... Would you make the other godmother for subsequent kids?

dukwok

Welcome to the board! I didn't know the Catholic church required only one of each? My cousin just asked me to the godmother, but I realized she has 7 godmothers and 7 godfathers! I would just ask them both We're Lutheran ourselves, and have decided to ask 2 sets of godparents. 

amandamarie2

Lurking from April but thought I'd chime in: my Mom's family is Catholic so my brothers and I each have godparents, all different from each other. My youngest brother actually has two godmothers, my Oma and a good friend of my Mom's because both women were very helpful while my Mom was pregnant. It may be an option for you to choose both if you really want to. Or you could choose one for this baby and one for a future child.