Blended Families

Quick ? about in between C/O's

PamelacakePamelacake member
250 Answers 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary
edited November 2014 in Blended Families

I thought this was common knowledge (depending on circumstances and changes) but I want to be sure..

I did ask the attorney before we left the courthouse and he said no more visits at our home, wait for the C/O and the therapist's office will call us for a meeting. DH and I both remember the atty's response clearly.

BM text last night that she would be coming to our home this wknd and demanded that I have activities for her to do with SD's. DH called BM to try to explain to her that the visits are no longer at our house as that was what she wanted. BM said "whatever" and hung up.

BM called back and left a VM saying "you know as well as I do that nothing was settled in court, our attorneys have to come to an agreement since no agreement was made in court and I have to sign it before it goes into effect". Then said something about her atty telling her the visits are still at our home.  WTH.. I mean.. she was there in person. The agreement was made while at court, we are just waiting for the C/O.

BM clearly had no clue what she was talking about in her VM but what if her atty did tell her to continue to come here.. I doubt it bc that's why there was court in the first place. "because we treat bm so bad"

The only thing that wasn't settled in court (in BM's favor) was BM's main reason for doing it in the first place.. FI being involved in her visits. That was the only question she asked her atty before leaving. BM's atty told her no, the visits are for you.

BM is just doing this to start crap.. hasn't been here about 3 months to see SD's. and 8yoSD just had a birthday in Sept.. nothing new. BM even said she was bringing CPS for her safety. hahha. oh my. that one really got me.

I have the atty's cell but don't use that unless I necessarily have to. I am waiting for his office to open to call and get info but I know I won't get a response right away so I figured I would ask on here.


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Re: Quick ? about in between C/O's

  • If your atty said no more visits in your home, then I would say no more visits and if BM is confused she needs to speak to her own atty. I wouldn't explain anything to her or have your DH explain anything because she seems to always be trying to upset you guys or SD. Save the voicemail but just don't respond with more than call your own atty if your confused. Then in the mean time wait for your atty and the C/O to come in but you should be good to go. Hope it gets better soon.
  • Thank you that makes a lot of sense. I was all frazzled when I posted this.

    Atty has been in court all morning. The receptionist had me call his cell and leave a msg. She did tell me that would be what would make the most sense. I don't call the atty's office often but she knew who I was before I was into my question.

    I am just worried that if we don't let the visit happen, IF BM shows, about contempt.

    I do have the paperwork from court about "(BM's Name) being so mistreated in our home" so she wanted it changed.

    We aren't trying to keep her from seeing SD's. But we don't want to deal with it if we don't have to.


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  • I know it's frustrating. Did you all have a different location set up you can do the visit at from the court date? If not I would do it at a halfway point so it's seemed reasonable in the court eyes and in a public setting like a park or something. Then I would tell BM that's where it will be, no discussions and she can choose to show up or not but I wouldn't sit there longer than twenty minutes max. She's disrupting your family's life as well and then of course document.And I meant to say earlier to tell BM if she's confused to call her atty. Also her demanding you have activities is dumb...it's her visit and her responsibility.
  • We had the local park as a second destination but that isn't an option with the rain/snow mix possibilities we have going on here.

    I never heard anything back from the atty, that's understandable. Today is his short day and he also has a new LO at home.

    DH and I decided earlier to go ahead with the visit if BM shows up. We don't want to stop her from seeing SD's if she's actually going to show. I will not have anything set out for them to do. I have every time, already knowing it was her responsibility to bring things and she did nothing but complain about the things I did for them anyways. So I will not be at her convenience for that.

    We only have to wait 15 minutes. If she thinks what she had here was rough.. she has no idea what she is getting herself into with facility where the visits will be held. I will make it through this one last visit, the C/O should be done by the time the next one rolls around.  I know we do not have to do this, BM just wants to be boss so we will let her.. to an extent, and to be nice but she won't be happy because I'm not going to be as nice as I have been. I am not catering to her. I will do what I should have been doing in the first place and then she will have the right (in her mind) to call me a B!tch.. for following the rules of supervised visits.

    I will tend to SD's needs and that's it.

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       Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers                            

     

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    FinallyHappy84
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