DD wants this weird LaLaloopsy baby doll that poops charms. I think it is odd and a bit gross, but hey it's what she wants. I figure if she still wants it by December and I can get it at a good price, I will get it for her.
I remember when I was 9 all I wanted was a cabbage patch corn silk kid. I was obsessed with getting one. I'm sure my parents thought I was too old for a doll, but they got it for me anyways. I am 37 years old and I still remember that Christmas as being one of the best ones I had as a child. I was so freakin excited to get that doll.
Um. OP here. This thread got all crazy. Just wanted to let everyone know that I took DD to the store, she took one look at what she 'wanted' and said no way. Picked out something else, equally crappy reviews, probably equally as preschoolerish but only $45 and at the top of her list so she's getting it. We don't do a lot of new toys throughout the year (heck, I usually forget a birthday gift since we do experiences) so I set a budget in my head and both girls are getting their top 3 wants.
Oh and one of the reasons my kids make lists is because I am trying to teach them the spirit of giving. A good giver takes into consideration what they receiver wants. I think it is far better to teach my kids to give in the right spirit than try to prove how well I know them.
I like you knottie. Are you a reg with a new name?
I'm not a bad mom for not giving my child a turkey sandwich just because she wanted to. Sometimes a 3yo doesn't know all the details in our decision making. She likes pb&j. She wanted to be picky at the time and I had already made the sandwich. Not only had I already made the sandwich but I was saving the last of the turkey for another member of my household who can't eat pb. That doesn't make me a bad mom. It's not a power trip. It's an expression of the God given authority I have as a parent to say yes or no when my child wants something. Turkey is not a need. Food is a need. She got food. She ate food. She is still a healthy, happy, growing girl. I did not abuse her by giving her her second choice sandwich. You can be glad to not have authority and control over you children all you want.
As far as Christmas, we also don't do Santa here. Not doing lists at Christmas is not saying that my kids can't have opinions or express their desires. DH doesn't do lists because he doesn't care what he gets or if he gets anything at all. I don't do lists for the same reason. Gifting at Christmas is not a priority and my kids are aware of that.
Call me a bad mom if you want. I run my house how I want to run my house and "because magic" is not a good enough reason for me to change anything that I am doing thus far.
caranichole It worked for me growing up. My brother always got what he wants, so in his 20s he sent out a list and expected to get what he wanted. I rarely got what I wanted and so, I don't expect anything and I appreciate everything.
So yes, I can say that you will never hear me question what to do if my kid wants something that I don't want to get them. I will simply not give it to them and they will move on in their lives. They will not be scarred for life over a lack of 1 toy.
Honestly, it sounds like you might be overcompensating for your childhood and situation with your brother. Unclench.
I think most of the time when people don't do Santa but do the tradition of exchanging presents they're too self absorbed to go along with the idea. Sounds like the case here...
This whole thread is weird. If you can afford the thing and it's the only toy they've asked for, why not get it? If they ask for something different every day, then sure, brush it off, but if they ask over and over again, then the kid has obviously invested some serious time into hoping that the thing will show up under the tree.
It's so not about you.
A thousand times this ^^^.
I distinctly remember at 3 years old asking for a Betsy Wetsy Doll set. The thing was expensive & really not that great as far as adults esteem of the toy. I was over the moon for it. My brother (twin) wanted a Thomas The Tank engine set. We played with them for a week or so, but my parents loved the look on our faces when "Santa" answered our requests.
It's not about a parenting philosophy or any such flowery shit. It's about listening to your child and getting them one or two things they are excited about. We get the kids three toys each. My mom raised me that way. Three things that make them squeal with delight on Xmas morning.
Last year it was blocks, & for Alex a Sophie chew toy. Really, making it about you (the parents) & what you think is "crappy" is a control freak thing to do. Way to act like a Scrooge over fucking toys for Christmas.
I'm not a bad mom for not giving my child a turkey sandwich just because she wanted to. Sometimes a 3yo doesn't know all the details in our decision making. She likes pb&j. She wanted to be picky at the time and I had already made the sandwich. Not only had I already made the sandwich but I was saving the last of the turkey for another member of my household who can't eat pb. That doesn't make me a bad mom. It's not a power trip. It's an expression of the God given authority I have as a parent to say yes or no when my child wants something. Turkey is not a need. Food is a need. She got food. She ate food. She is still a healthy, happy, growing girl. I did not abuse her by giving her her second choice sandwich. You can be glad to not have authority and control over you children all you want.
As far as Christmas, we also don't do Santa here. Not doing lists at Christmas is not saying that my kids can't have opinions or express their desires. DH doesn't do lists because he doesn't care what he gets or if he gets anything at all. I don't do lists for the same reason. Gifting at Christmas is not a priority and my kids are aware of that.
Call me a bad mom if you want. I run my house how I want to run my house and "because magic" is not a good enough reason for me to change anything that I am doing thus far.
Nope you are acting like a bad mom because you are acting self absorbed and controlling. It's all about you and not your kids. I can see it now. Eat the damn sand which. Lol. What your doing seems to be working, since you got in a power struggle over turkey so by all means keep it up.
Dude, my 3 year old gets crazy power struggle-addled over food. I still offer her two or three options. How is that so difficult? She can't make the food herself or anything. Even adults like options. :-??
Throw the other options in a ziplock or Tupperware. Boom, done. This "God given authority" thing will get you in trouble & your kid will reach a point where she will rebel just because she can. Shit, mine gets opinions & has moments of "oh mommy wants me to do this? I'm doing the opposite!".
I respect my daughter as a human with her own preferences & personality. Giving her the option of food, clothing & toys is acknowledging that it's not about me & my authority, FFS.
I don't think it's bad mothering. I just think it's disrespectful. If you want her to want to listen to you vs. fear you then you might consider loosening the apron strings.
Lol that "because magic" is ridiculous but "because I'm big & she's small! Because authority!" Is more justifiable.
You must be a blast @caranichole . Holy control issues.
You can be glad to not have authority and control over you children all you want.
This right here speaks volumes about your character and the type of parent you are. The fact that you believe the only way to help your children grow, learn and turn into responsible adults is to exhibit total control over them tells me to have no clue how to parent.
Oh and just FYI there are more option than turkey and pbj to feed kids for lunch. You are welcome.
...that not relevant. My house is not a grocery store. You don't know what is and isn't my fridge. Your comment is senseless drama.
this is the second time you have cried drama when I have called you out for questionable parenting. It's the bump you can't handle the heat find the door. Perhaps if you only can offer your children pbj or turkey it is time for you or your husband to find a job.
I think most of the time when people don't do Santa but do the tradition of exchanging presents they're too self absorbed to go along with the idea. Sounds like the case here...
What about conservative religious types?
They avoid doing presents and spend their day serving The Lord, no?
Oh and just FYI there are more option than turkey and pbj to feed kids for lunch. You are welcome.
...that not relevant. My house is not a grocery store. You don't know what is and isn't my fridge. Your comment is senseless drama.
this is the second time you have cried drama when I have called you out for questionable parenting. It's the bump you can't handle the heat find the door. Perhaps if you only can offer your children pbj or turkey it is time for you or your husband to find a job.
I've been around for several years. Clearly I can handle it.
I didn't say anything about what I can offer. Our income is more than sufficient. Thanks
Oh and just FYI there are more option than turkey and pbj to feed kids for lunch. You are welcome.
...that not relevant. My house is not a grocery store. You don't know what is and isn't my fridge. Your comment is senseless drama.
this is the second time you have cried drama when I have called you out for questionable parenting. It's the bump you can't handle the heat find the door. Perhaps if you only can offer your children pbj or turkey it is time for you or your husband to find a job.
I've been around for several years. Clearly I can handle it.
I didn't say anything about what I can offer. Our income is more than sufficient. Thanks
Then stop crying drama, and understand authoritative parenting has been proven NOT to work in the long run.
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right? You know when you told me I don't have control over my kids because I treat them like people with respect instead of control. In other words I am wrong because I don't parent like you.
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Nope, just a lot if people who agree that not giving your kid the toy they asked for (within reason) just because you need control is dickish.
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right?
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right? You know when you told me I don't have control over my kids because I treat them like people with respect instead of control. In other words I am wrong because I don't parent like you.
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Nope, just a lot if people who agree that not giving your kid the toy they asked for (within reason) just because you need control is dickish.
It's not about needing control. I don't do anything for the need of control. I have control and therefore, I don't give into my kid every time she whines about something if I've already made up my mind about my course of action. She will not be scarred over a toy, nor a sandwich. She is beyond blessed with all of the things she gets, including wants.
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Nope, just a lot if people who agree that not giving your kid the toy they asked for (within reason) just because you need control is dickish.
It's not about needing control. I don't do anything for the need of control. I have control and therefore, I don't give into my kid every time she whines about something if I've already made up my mind about my course of action. She will not be scarred over a toy, nor a sandwich. She is beyond blessed with all of the things she gets, including wants.
If you didn't need it you wouldn't be trying to convince a bunch of strangers over and over that you already have it.
I think most of the time when people don't do Santa but do the tradition of exchanging presents they're too self absorbed to go along with the idea. Sounds like the case here...
What about conservative religious types?
They avoid doing presents and spend their day serving The Lord, no?
Who says they are serving The Lord?
It doesn't make any sense (and is quire frankly hypocritical) that your religion is so strict that you can't do Santa yet you can still celebrate the consumerist, pagan aspects of the holiday.
Also I'm not judging someone's culture. I'm judging someone being a control freak and treating their kids like their peons.
I think most of the time when people don't do Santa but do the tradition of exchanging presents they're too self absorbed to go along with the idea. Sounds like the case here...
What about conservative religious types?
They avoid doing presents and spend their day serving The Lord, no?
Who says they are serving The Lord?
It doesn't make any sense (and is quire frankly hypocritical) that your religion is so strict that you can't do Santa yet you can still celebrate the consumerist, pagan aspects of the holiday.
Also I'm not judging someone's culture. I'm judging someone being a control freak and treating their kids like their peons.
What thread are you reading?! Nobody said any of this.
I couldn't care less who make lists, does Santa or whatever. I can do both of those things. I grew up with Santa. Santa makes his rounds to my parents house to this day. He just doesn't come here. If that makes me a terrible control freak mother, I'll have to live with that.
I think most of the time when people don't do Santa but do the tradition of exchanging presents they're too self absorbed to go along with the idea. Sounds like the case here...
What about conservative religious types?
They avoid doing presents and spend their day serving The Lord, no?
Who says they are serving The Lord?
It doesn't make any sense (and is quire frankly hypocritical) that your religion is so strict that you can't do Santa yet you can still celebrate the consumerist, pagan aspects of the holiday.
Also I'm not judging someone's culture. I'm judging someone being a control freak and treating their kids like their peons.
What thread are you reading?! Nobody said any of this.
I couldn't care less who make lists, does Santa or whatever. I can do both of those things. I grew up with Santa. Santa makes his rounds to my parents house to this day. He just doesn't come here. If that makes me a terrible control freak mother, I'll have to live with that.
Lol that you seriously can't see what makes you a total control freak. Everyone else in this post can except you? Um okay. You are acting not so bright. Hint it's not Santa.
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right? You know when you told me I don't have control over my kids because I treat them like people with respect instead of control. In other words I am wrong because I don't parent like you.
Here I quoted the whole thing for you.
Just so you know, I didn't see the rest of your post at first. I guess my mobile app was acting funny.
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right? You know when you told me I don't have control over my kids because I treat them like people with respect instead of control. In other words I am wrong because I don't parent like you.
Here I quoted the whole thing for you.
Just so you know, I didn't see the rest of your post at first. I guess my mobile app was acting funny.
Farmboy, where did you come from? Do you just show up to mostly.dead boards to defend the acting-like-crazies?
Caranichole if you can afford other lunch food, why don't you buy other food? I mean, on grocery shopping day I have.told dd tough shit before (using toddler words, obviously) but I'm not proud of it and I don't consider it a successful parenting moment. I'm not sure why you would pick that moment to brag about unless you're really proud of your power trip.
@rosesandpetals Why I do and don't purchase a certain variety of options for lunch food is neither here nor there. (I don't mean that to be bitchy, it's just a whole new conversation that doesn't really serve any purpose right now). As far as the PB&J vs Turkey situation, I was not trying to brag about a power trip nor was I just trying to teach DD anything. I had already made lunch for the family and I wasn't going to then make another sandwich for her just because she complained about it. All other days of the week, she loves a pb&j and that particular turkey was not available to her at the time. The point I was explaining in that post was stated at the beginning of it...
"I am not saying that my kids won't ever throw a fit over not getting what they want or getting something they don't want."
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right? You know when you told me I don't have control over my kids because I treat them like people with respect instead of control. In other words I am wrong because I don't parent like you.
This applies to ALL sides..
Smh. This is worse than you all getting in a tizzy over fruit snacks.
WHO FUCKING CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO FOR CHRISTMAS AND WHY THEY DO IT?!
Answer: the same # of people who care about who uses pacifiers or not and judge others for their choices.
Bunch of whackadoodles.
Name calling?
Probably? I'm still getting to know the TOU as well.. @mandymack your ruling?
@farmrsboywife it was brought up a couple of times over the last month whether calling a general audience a name was considered a direct attack/name-calling and the majority who participated in that discussion ruled that "no, it's not". The name-call/attack has to be directed at a poster(s) by quoting them or using their username somehow so that it's clear who, exactly they are referencing. Stuff like this is still being reviewed so let's go with this for now and when/if it changes, I'll let you all know.
So if my audience is everyone in the post then yes.
Well... I wouldn't go saying something like "everyone IN THIS POST is an asshole" That's not going to fly. Along the lines of our no vendors rule - if I can figure out who you are talking about it's going to be a warning so, if you absolutely MUST express yourself in that way, be stealthy as hell.
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right? You know when you told me I don't have control over my kids because I treat them like people with respect instead of control. In other words I am wrong because I don't parent like you.
This applies to ALL sides..
Smh. This is worse than you all getting in a tizzy over fruit snacks.
WHO FUCKING CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO FOR CHRISTMAS AND WHY THEY DO IT?!
Answer: the same # of people who care about who uses pacifiers or not and judge others for their choices.
Bunch of whackadoodles. Dude. Don't go BSC.
OP asked. So we answered. Then we had This other person acting like Misses Controllorama.
I don't really care if she gives her kids toys or whatever. What I care about is her attitude that she is God to this kid & he/she must do as she's told despite the kid's preferences.
We're not talking about minor things. In the long run I have a feeling she will internalize the message that her needs, wants & desires don't matter.
The tone is really unsettling. Reality will be one hell of a trout-slap!
We have some very ethnocentric people in this discussion I noticed.
Edit- I'm not even sure ethnocentric is really the word I'm looking for.. Maybe a word that is closer to "my way or the highway and everyone else is a dick for not doing everything my way or for my reasons"
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right? You know when you told me I don't have control over my kids because I treat them like people with respect instead of control. In other words I am wrong because I don't parent like you.
This applies to ALL sides..
Smh. This is worse than you all getting in a tizzy over fruit snacks.
WHO FUCKING CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO FOR CHRISTMAS AND WHY THEY DO IT?!
Answer: the same # of people who care about who uses pacifiers or not and judge others for their choices.
Bunch of whackadoodles.
Dude. Don't go BSC.
OP asked. So we answered. Then we had This other person acting like Misses Controllorama.
I don't really care if she gives her kids toys or whatever. What I care about is her attitude that she is God to this kid & he/she must do as she's told despite the kid's preferences.
We're not talking about minor things. In the long run I have a feeling she will internalize the message that her needs, wants & desires don't matter.
The tone is really unsettling. Reality will be one hell of a trout-slap!
This is the bigger picture. It is obvious the way she chooses to parent based on her post is harmful. Is so much more than gifts and food. Its sad.
I think most of the time when people don't do Santa but do the tradition of exchanging presents they're too self absorbed to go along with the idea. Sounds like the case here...
What about conservative religious types?
They avoid doing presents and spend their day serving The Lord, no?
Who says they are serving The Lord?
It doesn't make any sense (and is quire frankly hypocritical) that your religion is so strict that you can't do Santa yet you can still celebrate the consumerist, pagan aspects of the holiday.
Also I'm not judging someone's culture. I'm judging someone being a control freak and treating their kids like their peons.
What thread are you reading?! Nobody said any of this.
I couldn't care less who make lists, does Santa or whatever. I can do both of those things. I grew up with Santa. Santa makes his rounds to my parents house to this day. He just doesn't come here. If that makes me a terrible control freak mother, I'll have to live with that.
Re: Kids want crappy toys for Christmas ?
Honestly, it sounds like you might be overcompensating for your childhood and situation with your brother. Unclench.
C 7.16.2008 | L 11.12.2010 | A 3.18.2013
I distinctly remember at 3 years old asking for a Betsy Wetsy Doll set. The thing was expensive & really not that great as far as adults esteem of the toy. I was over the moon for it. My brother (twin) wanted a Thomas The Tank engine set. We played with them for a week or so, but my parents loved the look on our faces when "Santa" answered our requests.
It's not about a parenting philosophy or any such flowery shit. It's about listening to your child and getting them one or two things they are excited about. We get the kids three toys each. My mom raised me that way. Three things that make them squeal with delight on Xmas morning.
Last year it was blocks, & for Alex a Sophie chew toy. Really, making it about you (the parents) & what you think is "crappy" is a control freak thing to do. Way to act like a Scrooge over fucking toys for Christmas.
Sweet baby Jesus!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Nope you are acting like a bad mom because you are acting self absorbed and controlling. It's all about you and not your kids. I can see it now. Eat the damn sand which. Lol. What your doing seems to be working, since you got in a power struggle over turkey so by all means keep it up.
Throw the other options in a ziplock or Tupperware. Boom, done. This "God given authority" thing will get you in trouble & your kid will reach a point where she will rebel just because she can. Shit, mine gets opinions & has moments of "oh mommy wants me to do this? I'm doing the opposite!".
I respect my daughter as a human with her own preferences & personality. Giving her the option of food, clothing & toys is acknowledging that it's not about me & my authority, FFS.
I don't think it's bad mothering. I just think it's disrespectful. If you want her to want to listen to you vs. fear you then you might consider loosening the apron strings.
Lol that "because magic" is ridiculous but "because I'm big & she's small! Because authority!" Is more justifiable.
You must be a blast @caranichole . Holy control issues.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
This right here speaks volumes about your character and the type of parent you are. The fact that you believe the only way to help your children grow, learn and turn into responsible adults is to exhibit total control over them tells me to have no clue how to parent.
this is the second time you have cried drama when I have called you out for questionable parenting. It's the bump you can't handle the heat find the door. Perhaps if you only can offer your children pbj or turkey it is time for you or your husband to find a job.
They avoid doing presents and spend their day serving The Lord, no?
this is the second time you have cried drama when I have called you out for questionable parenting. It's the bump you can't handle the heat find the door. Perhaps if you only can offer your children pbj or turkey it is time for you or your husband to find a job.
I've been around for several years. Clearly I can handle it.
I didn't say anything about what I can offer. Our income is more than sufficient. Thanks
Then stop crying drama, and understand authoritative parenting has been proven NOT to work in the long run.
Very ethnocentric.
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right? You know when you told me I don't have control over my kids because I treat them like people with respect instead of control. In other words I am wrong because I don't parent like you.
C 7.16.2008 | L 11.12.2010 | A 3.18.2013
but you and your authoritative parenting don't count right?
Not if you've ever read a dictionary
Here I quoted the whole thing for you.
It's not about needing control. I don't do anything for the need of control. I have control and therefore, I don't give into my kid every time she whines about something if I've already made up my mind about my course of action. She will not be scarred over a toy, nor a sandwich. She is beyond blessed with all of the things she gets, including wants.
If you didn't need it you wouldn't be trying to convince a bunch of strangers over and over that you already have it.
It doesn't make any sense (and is quire frankly hypocritical) that your religion is so strict that you can't do Santa yet you can still celebrate the consumerist, pagan aspects of the holiday.
Also I'm not judging someone's culture. I'm judging someone being a control freak and treating their kids like their peons.
But how do you feel about coca cola in bottles? I judge the shit out if that.
C 7.16.2008 | L 11.12.2010 | A 3.18.2013
Lol that you seriously can't see what makes you a total control freak. Everyone else in this post can except you? Um okay. You are acting not so bright. Hint it's not Santa.
um okay
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11
Smh. This is worse than you all getting in a tizzy over fruit snacks.
WHO FUCKING CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO FOR CHRISTMAS AND WHY THEY DO IT?!
Answer: the same # of people who care about who uses pacifiers or not and judge others for their choices.
Bunch of whackadoodles.
Dude. Don't go BSC.
OP asked. So we answered. Then we had This other person acting like Misses Controllorama.
I don't really care if she gives her kids toys or whatever. What I care about is her attitude that she is God to this kid & he/she must do as she's told despite the kid's preferences.
We're not talking about minor things. In the long run I have a feeling she will internalize the message that her needs, wants & desires don't matter.
The tone is really unsettling. Reality will be one hell of a trout-slap!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
This is the bigger picture. It is obvious the way she chooses to parent based on her post is harmful. Is so much more than gifts and food. Its sad.
Uh farmrs did. Follow the post much??