Just left LO at daycare for the first time

jpoindahouse

And I'm actually elated to have some free time and start pursuing my career goals. I feel so selfish even writing this, but it is nice to have time to just think and to put in job applications and plan a future. Did anyone else feel this way? I almost feel guilty that I'm not having horrible separation anxiety or crying. I think the nurturing "mom" part of my brain must be broken. LOL

djtippietoes

I'm glad you were able to find a daycare.  I know you said you were having trouble.

My LO has been in daycare for over 6 months, but I didn't feel super guilty when I dropped him off at first either.  It's okay not to want to be in mom-mode all the time.  

jpoindahouse

Thanks! I have so much more respect for SAHMs after having done it for 9 months. It is honestly the hardest job I ever had and I just can't wait to return to an office environment. I'm hoping nobody reads my post as judgey or anything---its just that, for me, I felt such a relief when I dropped LO off this morning. And now I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. LOL. Glad to know that not everybody got upset on their LO;s first day of daycare

hammysmommy

Ditto.  Dropping LO off at dc means I have a 45minute drive, alone, to enjoy my music/audiobooks/silence as I drive to work...

shellbell3845

It was hard for me the first day. Now that I know he loves it there, I send him with no guilty feelings. I'm glad it wasn't hard on you, and I hope LO has a good day!

djtippietoes

psk said:

Having horrible separation anxiety or crying is not a requirement. You are also dropping your LO off for the first time, from what it sounds like, completely of your choosing. Many women here did not have a choice to return to work or even when to return to work. When the decision is in your hands, it means you have time to mentally prepare and determine when is best. I think a lot of moms on this board would like to have had that ability, but it isn't always possible.

I think it still would have been okay if she had to return to work but still wasn't super sad about leaving her LO at daycare.

jpoindahouse

psk said:

Having horrible separation anxiety or crying is not a requirement. You are also dropping your LO off for the first time, from what it sounds like, completely of your choosing. Many women here did not have a choice to return to work or even when to return to work. When the decision is in your hands, it means you have time to mentally prepare and determine when is best. I think a lot of moms on this board would like to have had that ability, but it isn't always possible.

this is so true. Again, I'm hoping my post doesn't offend anyone. I'm incredibly lucky that I got to choose when I was enrolling him and it kills me that not every woman has this choice. Still,  I  feel the need to share that psychologically being a sahm was just too hard for me. I am one of the fortunate few who is financially in a position to stay at home, but I just couldn't handle it and I feel so much better with him in daycare and me going back to work. I feel the need to share this because I have had so many people IRL tell me "you're so lucky that you don't have to go back to work" or "you should stay at home because your husband makes enough to support you" or "you wouldn't really be happy with LO in daycare."  

sdlaura

Add me to the list of moms that didn't have major separation anxiety or cry when dropping my kids at daycare.  That doesn't make you a bad mom.  I adore my children, but there is no person in the world (including them) that I would be thoroughly happy to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with.

Soap1

My LO is starting full time day care in January, and I'm counting down the days!

I know my older kids learned so much in day care and really thrived.  I don't feel guilty or sad at all.  There is no right or wrong way to feel about these sorts of things!

boogerbearoriginal

With LO1 (went back at 12wks) I had a lot of the angst/worry/tears before dropping him off, but actually doing it didn't bring tears. It wasn't my choice per se, we couldn't afford for me to not work without being on assistance, and I provide health insurance.  With LO2, I went back at 8wks p/t and 12wks f/t, never sad for a second.

I just think it's largely a cultural expectation that women feel sad when it's not always the reality. And life is filled with "choices" that are out of our control.  IMO the things that are important are that I have a DC provider I trust and I enjoy working in general, and like my job/coworkers.

No one ever asks men if they feel guilty working f/t, or if they cry about leaving their kid in the morning, kwim?  Like @soap1 said, there's no wrong way to feel.