Sex in the Third Trimester

mommataviaw

Help! Mine and my husbands sex life is coming to a slow putter as I'm getting closer to my due date. In the last month we've made love once. I can see the toll it's taking on my husband and our intimacy. I have absolutely no desire for intercouse (too uncomfortable) but I feel like times running out before the baby comes. He doesn't do well with foreplay and he isn't one for oral, we're not for the use of "toys" either and so I feel really limited in how to keep our love life alive! Any advice on intimacy outside of love making? Or tips to last through this dry spell??

vrae0606

My thoughts exactly @katehgee‌! I'm embarrassed to say how long it has been for us! I'd say a tip for your DH to get thru your dry spell is get some good lotion & have kleenexes handy and go to town on his own!

brookey79

Can't give any advice.  Also had sex once in the past month and don't see it happening again until after LO arrives.  DH isn't into it and neither am I.  

BankerBSN

I can't say we "make love". We fuck doggy style. Fun.

mgk207

I don't know if this falls into "toys" in your book, but a little lube might help things along...also, this seems like a conversation that would be useful to have with him. You're doing a lot already, carrying his child and all. Keeping up the spice on top of that seems like a lot of pressure to put on yourself.

ColeyCannoli

What is this sex you speak of?

feeshah

A good make out sesh

gmeyer1019

Doggy is the only possible position for me, has been for month. DH gets some like every two weeks maybe, but I can see that ending reeeeeal soon.

ajrichards8889

Its been like over a month. We tried once in that month and baby thought it would be a good idea to move around. Yeah that ended that. We snuggle and kiss often. Seems to be okay for us for now.

bbynixon2

My biggest problem aside from the big belly and feel uncomfortable has been my own self image and just not feeling sexy....lately, iv been wearing just one of his big t-shirts when we do it so I dont have my belly staring me in the face and its actually helped me a lot. DH is not a fan of me keeping clothes on but since it makes me feel more comfortable with myself and he's still gettin some, he doesn't complain too much.

jlmynes

Sex?! You should both be thrilled as it seems like you've had it pretty good up until now! Hubs has been gone at work out of state since I was 5 weeks pregnant, only came home once in August and we had a go for it and it was unbearably painful! He's coming home again next weekend and thinks there's gonna be some action...yeah I don't think so buddy. He can wait until like Feb when the doctor gives the all clear! Both of you deserve a pat on the back for keeping up with it. No advice here sorry.

emmyjoy11

Stormygrace my hubby doesn't like oral either so it's not abnormal lol

CandEChicago

A google search should have some interesting solutions and positions.

Eora3

Bahahahahaha! No




In all seriousness, get creative or give the man some lotion. Sex either works for both partners or it doesn't. I would not feel comfortable using MH's body to get off if I knew it was painful for him, and MH feels the same way about the reverse situation. I am about to have my third child under three. Sex during pregnancy is usually not pleasant for me so it doesn't happen. I have been pregnant or recovering from c-sections for the greater part of three years. There has not been a lot of actual sex going on in my house.

Believe it or not, you will both survive and (unless there are other major relationship issues) your marriage will to. Communication and mutual respect are key.

leoandethansmom

I asked my husband last night if I still had a vagina. He says I do but I'm not sure he really even knows the answer. Your husband is a lucky man.

kylik90

I put a stop to sex last week since I started getting really bad Braxton hicks contractions afterwards and with our first DD they ended up becoming real contractions at 33 weeks. My DH hates it but I told him to suck it up. I'll help him out every now and then but he's probably going to get to know his hand a lot better for a while.

ColoradoBoat

If u don't have any lube, buy some. Not sure how that area is wet all day long but not in the right way for sex, but lube has definitely made it so we can actually get it on. Also, try on top. Best of luck n like others on here said, if u r still doing it regularly, he is getting more than most of us!

khall7109

I was feeling bad about only getting it twice a week. I couldn't imagine what you ladies and husbands must be going through. Just think, soon enough there will be wine again!!

efgallarday

I had sex yesterday but it hurt like a mofo and probably won't happen again til after this baby is OUTSIDE my vagina.

allitor12

I told DH a couple weeks ago I felt bad for him bc we were not having sex until at least 6 weeks post partum. This was after my visit to l&d and I got all freaked out.

So yeah... No help here.

RaeChay

Girl on top works for me. Otherwise I'm getting squashed or out of breath. I've been wanting sex but H has been saying "but you don't look like you want sex" when I asked him last night why he hasn't been after it...apparently looking pregnant is not a sex hungry look.

byrne15

We haven't had sex in 3 months. My vagina feels like it is turned inside out.

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goatlady12

We've tried to maintain once a week, but the farther along I am the less appealing it is to both of us. The week mark hits and I think both of us secretly hope the other one doesn't notice.  Next time it happens will be if I get desperate to induce labor.  I'd have to be really, really desperate though.

possitivethoughts

We haven't had sex since I turned 30 weeks, doctors orders... I'm quite happy without it. I don't mind pleasing him once in a while... Either oral or with my hands. He's a happy camper.

Even tho that might not help you since you indicated your husband doesn't like oral..that really is the first time I hear of a man not liking getting some head...

mlee116

DH and I are still getting it on, but its definitely down to maybe once a week.  Sometimes I'm more into it than others, but I enjoy the intimacy of it and I just really like sex haha.  We just find a comfortable position (like PPs said, you might need to use Google and then experiment) and go at it

However, if you're in pain or just really don't want to do, you shouldn't feel bad about not doing it.  Some nights it just ain't happening, so we just snuggle in bed, hang out or whatever.  Luckily we're usually pretty tired from work, activities and our tornado of a toddler so we don't have a hard time skipping it.

racheldiaries

I'm odd man out here when I say I'm still enjoying sex when we do have sex, awkwardness and all... 

LinziLoo09

We were down to about once a week until I was admitted to the hospital two weeks ago. The ER doctor said no sex, but he didn't say until when (e.g., the end of the week's bedrest, the end of the pregnancy, etc). I propositioned DH once over the weekend, but he's too nervous now that I'm higher risk. It's going to be a loooooong 2.5 months

mammatoomc

Agree with most that your hubby is lucky!! For me, the main problem is finding a comfortable position that works for both-- DH isnt very creative so doggy etc doesn't work for us. These days I have constant back and/or sciatic pain which is making it complicated to even WANT to be intimate. I can say I still 'crave' it all the time.. we've recently been doing the deed on the couch. I leave him sitting upright and I do all the work.. this leaves the belly out of the way mostly and isn't so bad on my back. Def super awkward when LO is kicking and going to town though. But even with this, it's still a rare occassion :-/

SeeRealSky

I would suggest first talking to your husband. If the lack of intimacy is affecting your relationship, then that needs to be addressed. Have an open discussion and talk about why you're not as into it as he might be, and listen to what he has to say on the subject. He may surprise you by having some suggestions of his own!

As for intimacy outside of sex and oral, I'd say increase physical contact. I mean little things that remind him that you still care and want him, even though your not into sex right now. Hold his hand, touch his arm, hug him more often. I know I'm a cheeseball, but it's a good way to maintain intimacy and closeness outside of the bedroom.

And I'll agree with several other ladies -- if you want to keep things happening, make out with him, do some heavy petting, maybe give hand jobs a try, etc. I'm another odd man out, since my husband and I still have sex two or three times a week, not including oral. Even if it's uncomfortable at times, he's really good about finding new ways to make it more comfortable. So really, your husband could surprise you if you give him a chance to! If not, then he will surely understand and take one for the team.

rshamos

chelseavranich said:

A) hubs is super lucky youre even considering this. we do the scissor position. It's fun and kind of dirty.

I had to google the scissor position. OP, if you are worried about intimacy, there are other things besides sex that can help. Give YH massages, go on romantic dates, etc. staying close doesn't always mean sex. At this stage, I hope he understands that your sex life is going to change.

soulcupcake

I will likely wait until closer to 37w. Since I started losing my MP and there's some "show" she doesn't want to further aggravate things with my irritable uterus. 

Once I hit early term then we're good-to-go. I'll see if I can manage a few times a week since once baby arrives there will be no action for 4-6 weeks.

CandaceC1020

Haha ... I had sex this am.  Woke up this morning and realized that I had a sex dream, rolled over and woke hubby up and asked him if he wanted to have sex. 

Hubby then proceeded to tell me afterwards that my right boob is bigger and more firm than my left boob.  He questioned what will happen when I get milk in .... I told him my right boob will probably still be bigger and more firm than my left one.

JunkieBrewster

I still put out 3x a week. You guys are pussies. Give it up for the man.

Shortstack06

DH got a BJ last night for our anniversary, he won't initiate it at this point.  Usually he is snoring within two minutes of us laying in bed because he is so busy with work that I don't think he's noticed. Usually go with him on the side of the bed and me on the bed about once a week. It is effective for us right now.

diz1313

What is this sex you speak of? Ha! I was on progesterone suppositories twice a day my entire first trimester so there wasn't any sex then as I was always dripping that stuff. We did it a few times during the second trimester, but I got big so fast I think trying to figure out logistics made DH lose interest. Now I am parade float sized and DH is paranoid about disturbing anything in there.... apparently he wants the girls to stay in until thier eviction date. Ha!
I know we both get horney but it's always at different times so I guess we just get out jollies solo. Heheheee
I don't do BJ's as I have a pretty horrible TMJ issue and it hurts my jaw.
In any case I know I am looking forward to getting the go ahead after the girls are born.

BurdyGurl

I find my sex life dwindling a bit too... but it seems I'M the one who's missing it! DH is attentive & wonderful, but nervous he'll hurt me...meanwhile I'm more into it then ever & feel completely rejected, fat & ugly bc let's face it... a big stretch marked body doesn't exactly boost my ego much!  I keep trying to remind myself that hormones have put my ego into overdrive & everything is fine... but I'm struggling a bit with self esteem at this point. 

hoping4aUNICORN

Slaps said:

Get used to it, you have 6 weeks of no sex after baby, then you are going to have the fact you are too tired!
We haven't had sex since I took my pregnancy test, have I missed it nope!
Would I want it now at 33 weeks hell no! Enjoy the break.

Yes....this!!

krystrist2014

3girlsnthepup said:

notchomama said:

I can't say we "make love". We fuck doggy style. Fun.

We do too. It's the only posistion that feels remotely comfortable. I suck it up now knowing I get a 6 week break before too long.

yup. This. I put out last night... Last time before that? Maybe August? Nope, might have been early September...

I am on the sucking it up train too... although at the moment SO and I are living in two different states until I move in 3 weeks. But I have pretty much decided to give in to him any time he has initiated during this pregnancy... so long as he is willing to do most of the work, I am cool with that. My SO doesnt seem to want sex too often lately though... maybe 3 times a month during the 2nd trimester... we will see how he is during the 3rd trimester when I move down there. So far we have only had sex once in the 3rd trimester because we got to see each other for one weekend. Also have to agree that doggy style is currently the most comfortable position these days (pretty much since half way through the 2nd trimester).

desertsun

We've slowly tapered to about once a week. We've just experimented to find positions that work. Physical touch is the primary love language for both of us, so we also do lots of snuggling, holding hands, kisses, etc. 

If you really don't want to do p in the v sex, then you could consider just kissing and touching, getting naked and letting your H touch you, and a hand job from you or letting him touch himself while looking at you. There are alternative ways to be intimate without penetration.

abcmom12

We've tapered down from 4x a week to 2-3x but it's mostly for him.  I just enjoy the chance to lay on my back for a few minutes and practice my kegels lol  Thank gawd he's been tired lately and quick when he wants to be