Posting on Facebook

kramiemom

Have any of you struggled with posting your pregnancy announcement because of how it affected you when you were going through IF? I'm really torn about it because I remember what it did to me seeing it when I was going through it all. I thought about maybe posing something about my IF journey and for those going through it to not give up hope. I don't know...what do you think?

kramiemom

Thanks, that helps a ton, ladies

chucktgirl

I actually (strangely, maybe?) think it's brave to address IF. I am so private that I am not prepared to do that. In fact, I just increased my privacy settings so no one can even post on my page. I will not be announcing my pregnancy at all on FB. Unless the news leaks, I won't mention it until after I give birth.

Champs28

I agree with @chucktgirl‌ - we aren't going to acknowledge if with our fb announcement but I plan on posting for if awareness month. I'm not embarrassed or private about my struggle. My body went through hell for this baby and its a badge of honor to me. I also think sharing can help inspire the other 1 in 8 women

kmc84

I didn't post about A until after she was born.

I'm undecided still about this pregnacy. Since thise is our last time trying, I will address the struggle we had for both babies to a point. I know I have one friend who adopted after IF treatments were exhausted, one who saw and RE for several IUI's, and I have several other FB friends I suspect are having struggles. We are pretty open about things and if I can help any of them by allow them to contact me, I'm glad to do it!

I do agree with avoiding 'don't lose hope' for the same reasons PP's stated

gsancho

I think whatever you feel comfortable with.  Some want to dive in to the excitement and understand if those struggling hide them from their newsfeed, others don't post anything about their pregnancy.  We posted a brief comment last week, and for me it was important to say something about IF.  We've been pretty open about IVF anyways, so I figured there's enough cute announcement pics to where I should do something different and acknowledge IF.  

I just posted the below.  No pic.  At first I worried it was still a little too AW-ish and dwelled on our struggles more than the celebration aspect...but then three people I hadn't talked to in years messaged me that they appreciated my message since they were dealing with IF, so I was happy.

"After struggling with infertility for three years, Ben & I are excited to finally share that we are expecting a baby GIRL in the spring! Thank you so much to our family & friends who have been there for us through all the waiting, surgeries, and treatments"

poohniki

Because of IF, I had a really hard time telling people I was pregnant at all. DH did most of the telling and once I started telling work I told some people who I knew would spread the word a little bit (not the biggest gossips- but just people who can't keep secrets) and that helped too.

I did the warning that @IFinTN mentioned because I came out about our IF for Infertility Awareness month in May and I had quite a few people who added the pink and blue ribbon to their profile picture (which was awesome). I think it would be great to acknowledge those who have helped you and offer support to any friends who might be suffering. 

AMShark

I think it might also depend on how you use your Facebook account.  I tend a little toward the paranoid side on social media, and post a little less concerning personal news.  I haven't yet acknowledged my pregnancy on FB, and I don't know that I plan to... but I do think I'll post a few pics after the babies are born.  At that time, I'll acknowledge the struggles we had conceiving and bringing babies to term.  It just so happens that my due date might coincide with National IF Awareness week, so it would be easy to post about both.

For years, FB was a very emotional place for me, but seeing PG announcements and baby pics never made me mad at my FB friends - they just made me mad at my body for failing me.  I dealt with it by hiding people from my feed if their posts became overwhelming.  (Hiding is great, b/c you don't lose the connection, you just hide it from your feed, and you can un-hide it anytime you want).

I really don't think there is a right or a wrong way to handle it.  And despite what feels like a million posts to the contrary, there's really no right or wrong way to use Facebook.  (I take that back, there are a couple of *wrong* ways, but mostly, there are just differences of opinion).

kramiemom

All of your opinions are fantastic and have given me a lot to think about. I don't tend to post a ton of FB but I usually post larger things. I like the idea of acknowledging the 1 in 8 and also thanking friends and family for their thoughts and prayers through our journey. Basically everyone who knew we did IVF knows we are pregnant...just not the random girl I was friends with in middle school that I never see haha

KT416

I'm a pretty personal person (my DH too) and we did not share our infertility journey to anyone nor did people know we were trying.

It took me awhile to announce to people in person for different reasons but I did decide to share on FB at the 19 something mark with the sex included, because not everyone knew about the sex yet. It will probably be the only pregnancy related post I do, but I thought it would be weird if I didn't mention it at all based on the type of posts I usually do. (I don't overshare or anything, but I do post a lot of baby dog pics).

I think it's up to you with what you are comfortable with. I felt guilty at first posting knowing that it may hurt someone feelings, but at the same time, I didn't want it to take away from my own happiness and excitement. Plus, many ladies post a whole lot more than my very simple announcement.

southernyankeegirl

I have kept my posts to a minimum, but I am not avoiding celebrating my own happiness. For example, there was an announcement but it was a picture of my dog with a silly message. And I don't ever whine about pregnancy (or brag - I just don't mention it) and no bump-focused poses. If I happen to post a picture where I'm pregnant, so be it, but the pregnancy is not the focus of my posts.

I have a separate blog for family and friends who want all the bump and ultrasound pics.

MJ14323

I'm still undecided about a FB post as well, even though DH really wants to do it.  We will likely post something, but will also post about IF.  I want to wait until we are at least 16 weeks, so who knows. We are 100% open about IF and I've made several posts about it in the past, so I want to take the time acknowledge it again and thank everyone for being there for us.  

I do know that I won't be posting a lot about pregnancy, babies, etc when the time comes. We have a blog that has been private through our IF but I will plan on giving it to family and friends if they want updates in the future. 

ladyteach0505

I STILL find pregnancy related posts difficult on FaceBook. It was becoming incredibly awful every time I would open it to see another person with an announcement. (8 or so back to back before our BFP) I have yet to say anything. I'm not sure when or if I will. The only reason I might would be to reach out to the people going through treatment . I was glad for the few people who reached out to me in real life- wish I'd found more because I know they're out there. But I'm just having a hard time with the whole thing.

WA1215

I finally decided to announce with a bump pic at 6 months. I quoted The Fairy Godmother "Even miracles take a little time" and that after a long road, we were thrilled to announce we are expecting a little lady. I'm glad I finally did, even though I was hesitant. I hinted at IF without really saying it, but really I'm sure people know as we've been together 15 years and married 7. I have a friend who lives long distance from me and I hadn't told any of my extended friends and family yet...and when she saw my fb announcement she messaged me privately that she was so happy for us, and that normally she hates seeing pg announcement.t-shirt, but ours was different bc she knew of and understood the struggle. I do plan to "come out of the IF closet" next year for IF awareness.

CarSaidYes

I don't have FB. But DH does and I have asked him to not ever post anything about our pregnancy on FB. I just feel like its a really personal thing and IDW to unintentionally hurt anyone who is going through the struggle because we may not know about it. Not to mention that he's friends with a few old people from the past that I'm not a huge fan of. Everyone is different. I'm just not ready for that chapter. The people that matter to us and are important will def know In a few weeks. To each their own

weansworld09

I debated for a long while about posting anything on Fb. DH deactivated his account a few months ago bc we felt like it was a good idea for him and potential future promotions, etc.
I struggled with knowing what to say, not wanting to flaunt the pregnancy or cause pain to others going through IF and I had a fear that this would end in a miscarriage and we would have a lot of people to untell.
I finally decided to post a "happy Halloween from baby _____" this past Friday at 24.5 weeks. I had on my silly skeleton t shirt & we got a tremendous amount of love, likes and congratulatory posts.
It feels like a relief almost to finally post. I am not ready to openly discuss with anyone and everyone regarding our IF, so I decided to keep that part to myself for now.

KelliHammond

Facebook automatically stores, forever, the facial recognition data of every photo that is posted on its web site -- even if that photo is later removed. in addition, Facebook was originally funded and incubated in part by In-Q-Tel, which is the CIA's venture capital arm. Facebook also stores and archives all data posted, forever, regardless if that information is changed or removed later on.

One should ask, why is the CIA involved in financially supporting a hugely successful web site that collects the myriad details of everyone's life, including the details of our children's lives? This includes data at the biological level, that is, facial recognition data.

Even if a name is not associated with a photo, the photo is biologically fingerprinted and this is for forever. There is no turning back the clock and changing anything.

I recommend not posting anything about your children online. Facebook is not for your pleasure. It is for collecting information about you and your activities, and everyone you know.

I work in the field of Big Data Business Intellligence, and I have also worked in the field of public relations (aka, legalized propaganda). Collecting large data sets on populations is in the best interest of governments that do not trust their own citizens. It is not in the best interest of the citizens who own and pay for those governments, however.

stephaniesee

I actually deleted fb bc each announcement would crush me (not saying this was right, it's just how low I felt). I originally decided not to announce on social media at all but on a whim I wrote up a little something about how happy we are (something so small, but no other announcement I had ever seen had taken time to acknowledge) and posted a pic on IG after our A/S. So IMO post what will make you happy but express your happiness and excitement!!!

dp21

I'm with @Happy_Yahoo_Personaler‌

We did not acknowledge our IVF struggle on fb however all our close friends/family/all of my coworkers know and many have followed my journey on our locked blog!

I've been on fb for 11 years now eek and my list of "friends" is hundreds long filled with people with all types of beliefs. So didn't want to share IVF struggle on there, but in real life we are pretty open about it.

We went all out on an announcement and I don't feel guilty about it. We hired a photographer, posted on fb after anatomy scan, and sent out announcement cards! For me it made this pregnancy feel normal/real. It was fun and finally something I wasn't going to let IF steal the show from. And I love our announcement pics, we will have them forever and actually turned some into canvases and hung them in our home!

As for others announcements etc, as a peds nurse I work with babies all the time, people who abandon their kids, sick kids, withdrawal babies, that has toughened me up. So they never bothered me, more bothered by the moms who get knocked up and do drugs while pregnant and I send these kids home with them after several weeks when we were struggling. I wanted to steal all the babies lol. Hope this helps!

sorrellam30

When I ever decide to share on fb I will absolutely address IF struggle, we are very open about it, I also know I will post minimal pictures once baby is here, I have several friends going through similar journeys and I want to respect their feelings

stephaniesee

dp21 said:

I'm with @Happy_Yahoo_Personaler‌


We went all out on an announcement and I don't feel guilty about it. We hired a photographer, posted on fb after anatomy scan, and sent out announcement cards! For me it made this pregnancy feel normal/real. It was fun and finally something I wasn't going to let IF steal the show from. And I love our announcement pics, we will have them forever and actually turned some into canvases and hung them in our home!

We did too!!! Well we made up cards and I had my brother take a cute pic, but my hub is a printer so we made it all fancy like. I think mailing them out was more fun than the IG post :x

RunCC37

We don't plan to announce our pregnancy on Facebook. For us, it has more to do with how we use Facebook than anything else. I don't post much to my wall these days. I used to post a lot about my running adventures but now that I'm not running, the topics at hand are... infertility and pregnancy after infertility. So it feels like I have nothing to add. I mostly use facebook for my secret support groups.

pblge

KelliHammond said:

Facebook automatically stores, forever, the facial recognition data of every photo that is posted on its web site -- even if that photo is later removed. in addition, Facebook was originally funded and incubated in part by In-Q-Tel, which is the CIA's venture capital arm. Facebook also stores and archives all data posted, forever, regardless if that information is changed or removed later on.

One should ask, why is the CIA involved in financially supporting a hugely successful web site that collects the myriad details of everyone's life, including the details of our children's lives? This includes data at the biological level, that is, facial recognition data.

Even if a name is not associated with a photo, the photo is biologically fingerprinted and this is for forever. There is no turning back the clock and changing anything.

I recommend not posting anything about your children online. Facebook is not for your pleasure. It is for collecting information about you and your activities, and everyone you know.

I work in the field of Big Data Business Intellligence, and I have also worked in the field of public relations (aka, legalized propaganda). Collecting large data sets on populations is in the best interest of governments that do not trust their own citizens. It is not in the best interest of the citizens who own and pay for those governments, however.

:-O :-O :-O :-O :-O
Whoa.

Ecarabeo217

I have no,pregnancy posts on FB. I don't feel the need to put everything out there, though I realize that's just me. My sister posted a picture of us at my shower and that's the only thing that has made it on to social media about it. I especially wouldn't want to put any IF info just because we have been very private about it. Even my sister has no idea we went through IVF. I have patients as FB friends and I'm just not comfortable putting all my personal info out there

Carebear12303

I  understand how you feel. We are not announcing ours on FB until the end of the first trimester...........