One & Done: Only child

I have a 20 month old and cancer

opp282009opp282009 member
edited October 2014 in One & Done: Only child
Hi ladies first time posting on this group but I have an almost 20 month old. He will be on the 7th of Novemver. I am 23 years old and they found cysts on my ovaries. My mother was 26 when she had ovarian cancer. I have another appointment to talk about my options my doctor wants me to get a hysterectomy. I always wanted 6 kids and now my not be able to have any more. Just a few months ago my fiance and I were talking about trying for another. We are considering adoption but that cost a lot.
Also with chemotherapy I am feeling like I will be to tired to handle my son. Just feeling overwhelmed.
I tried talking to my mother who by the time she was 31 had breast cancer twice and ovarian cancer. Chemo all three times. Two masectomys, and a hysterectomy. She said I didn't need to have anymore kids. Like really that isn't the only thing I am worried about. I was young and I seen how exhausted my mom was. How she missed important things in my life. I don't want that for my son.
I know people probably say this all the time but I am only 23, I am to young to have cancer. I feel like my sons childhood is being taken away from me. Sorry for the depressing woe me I just need someone who is supportive

Re: I have a 20 month old and cancer

  • I don't mind adopting but I am worried about missing my son's childhood. I remember my mom going through chemo being sick, loosing hair, tired all the time, depressed, multiple sugeries. I remember wanting her to play and her not being able too. I was 5 when she got it. I basically spent my childhood at her best friends cause she either had an appointment or was to tired to watch me. I don't want that for my son.
  • Also I am main provider for my family so worried about that too. My fiance says not to worry and we will figure it out. But can't help but worry.
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  • Wow-- That sounds scary. So sorry you are having to deal with that. Please forgive me if I misunderstood the OP, but are they 100% sure it's cancer? Is there a chance is't not? Either way, you are more than welcome here. Hugs.


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  • DH and MIL experienced that. She was treated for breast cancer when he was young. It was very hard on them, but there aren't lingering issues. They lived very near her family. That helped them both. That's a lot to take in. And give up. Anyone would worry. Hopefully your doctor can recommend a therapist who specialized in these situations. They can be very helpful.
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  • I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sending you well wishes. You've got a lot you're taking on right now and all of what you're feeling is normal.

    Kids are pretty resilient. Your son may surprise you :)

    Hugs friend. Look forward to having you around on the OAD board!
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  • Yes its cancerous. But my dr. Said we still have other options like removing the cyst and doing radiation and chemotherapy. But he said that even if I do that I still might not be able to have kids and my best option would be a full hysterectomy.
  • opp282009opp282009 member
    edited October 2014
    I guess I shouldn't be surprised I was tested for the broncha? (Not sure if spelled right) gene at 18 and came back positive. Also had frequent blood test and mammograms, and paps yearly. I knew it was a matter of time. But still seemed to sprung up on me
  • Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
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  • Oh, it's totally OK for you to be feeling this way. Anyone would be struggling and feeling overwhelmed right now. So, as someone who's also had a cancer diagnosis, just let yourself grieve over this and process everything. I know it's so difficult to not start worrying about the future and how you're going to be doing after your treatement, but I'd suggest just taking one thing at a time and one decision at a time.Otherwise, it's just too easy to get overwhelmed and consumed with worry. Also, if you're struggling with making a decision about surgery, etc., it never hurts to get a 2nd opinion. Even if you get the same advice, it may at least help you feel like you explored all your options. But, most of all, I just wanted to say I'm praying for you right now, that you'll have extra strength to get through this time. ((Hugs))!!



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