Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Partner Disagrees about Feeding Amount

Has anyone had a hard time getting a spouse/partner onboard with formula amount and time table?

My son is 6 weeks old and we are doing both breastmilk and formula b/c my supply has been low/slow (as in I never pump more than a combined 1.5 oz in a session). My husband has been incredibly supportive throughout pregnancy and infancy; however, we keep arguing about how much formula to give our son. I always breastfeed first, but my husband wants to do 3 to 4 oz bottles of formula after. I'm concerned this will lessen my LO's interest in breastfeeding and possibly stretch the time b/w the bottle and the next breastfeeding session. Will my son be able to stop when he's full? I don't want to deprive him, but I'm still hoping my milk supply may improve (trying Reglan now, and drinking so much water, I may float away). How do I convince my husband that I'm not starving our child?

Frustrating...

Re: Partner Disagrees about Feeding Amount

  •  Is your son gaining weight appropriately and having enough wet/soiled diapers?

     You can't tell just from pumping if you have a good or low supply-some women never get much from a pump.

     Have you seen a lactation consultant? You should if you haven't already-but basically the idea is to NOT use formula and keep track of how many wet/soiled diapers baby has, and probably weight checks too. Using the formula can cause baby to nurse less and therefore diminish your supply. Has baby been gaining appropritely up to this point?

     But you need to be in contact with an LC and the doctor-because if you truly arent producing enough, baby will need to supplement. And many people DO do that successfully! I think you need to determine if baby is actually getting enough breastmilk before you do that though.
    Ahlome084legsRbest
  • I totally understand your worry that your LO will lose interest in BFing.  I went through exactly the same thing at 6 weeks with my DS and had to supplement with formula; and not to scare you but my son did end up losing interest in the breast VERY quickly and is now exclusively formula fed.  However, while this did depress me for awhile, in the end he is a MUCH MUCH MUCH happier child now that he is being fully fed.  I was a huge advocate for breast feeding and swore I would do anything and everything to BF for as long as possible, but I simply was not producing and had to come to terms with the fact that it was not my fault and DS would be happy and healthy on formula.  For me the 1 1/2 oz that I was getting from pumping simply was not worth the stress I was putting myself through on a daily basis.
    You are the mom and I always like to think that us moms know best, but as far as your husband wanting to feed your LO 3-4 oz after a BFing session...this is EXACTLY what my pediatrician recommended for our LO.


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    alissany4MesmrEwe
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  • My lactation consultant would weigh the baby, have me nurse, and then weigh the baby again to see how much she was getting in a feeding (with an ounce sensitive scale). Other than something like that which most people can't do at home, the best is to count wet/soiled diapers, monitor weight gain, and watch your baby's cues. 

    I also recommend talking to a certified lactation consultant (in my experience, it is best to stay far away from LLL though - some of them know what they're talking about but a lot of them do not and there's no way to tell the difference!). The hospital where I delivered had one available by phone, by appointment, and who had 'office hours' where people could just drop in, all free. If your hospital doesn't have a service like that, call your OB and the baby's pediatrician - they will either have someone on staff who can help or they can get you a referral. 
  • I totally understand your worry that your LO will lose interest in BFing.  I went through exactly the same thing at 6 weeks with my DS and had to supplement with formula; and not to scare you but my son did end up losing interest in the breast VERY quickly and is now exclusively formula fed.  However, while this did depress me for awhile, in the end he is a MUCH MUCH MUCH happier child now that he is being fully fed.  I was a huge advocate for breast feeding and swore I would do anything and everything to BF for as long as possible, but I simply was not producing and had to come to terms with the fact that it was not my fault and DS would be happy and healthy on formula.  For me the 1 1/2 oz that I was getting from pumping simply was not worth the stress I was putting myself through on a daily basis.
    You are the mom and I always like to think that us moms know best, but as far as your husband wanting to feed your LO 3-4 oz after a BFing session...this is EXACTLY what my pediatrician recommended for our LO.


    Just lurking here - but wanted to add - not every woman is meant to have the nickname of elsie attached to her boobs.  You can do everything right to be the best BFer on the planet (Lecithin, Fenugreek, LC's, LLL, etc.) but if your body isn't producing enough the stress is only going to make it worse.  If your LO loses interest in latching, this is why you have a pump, remember pump maintenance (making sure you've got fresh membranes, etc.) is an important aspect of pumping, but so is technique (hook up for an hour and make note of what amount of time produces the maximum result - for me pumping 3x/day for 40 minutes produced more than pumping 6x/day for 20...  Make sure you're massaging your ducts to produce the maximum let-down, etc.)..  So you have to supplement with formula, big deal! (yes, I cried the first time I had to!)  What your LO is getting is fantastic and be proud of your work.  The only thing that you need to focus on is "does my baby have food in his/her tummy" - Your baby will stop when they're full.    Mom wins this one until Dad starts latching!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    missenn
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  • If you've got to supplement my biggest suggestion is to let baby bottle feed a half ounce at a time, stop, burp, and then watch to see if there are continued hunger cues.  This way you're not over feeding... also watch spit-up.. my baby will gorge herself until she is spitting and puking up a storm, if your LO is starting to excessively spit up, and you have ruled all reflux/tummy issues out already, it really could be as simple as over eating. For me it's all in my LO's hands.  If they are tense she is still nursing/eating for hunger, if they are relaxed it's comfort or pleasure and I know to slow her down or pull her away for a bit.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am in the same boat with my 3 week old. Our pediatrician is on board with me nursing as much as possible but it also means we were at the dr office every few days for weight checks. At 3 weeks we are adding 1 oz of formula 3 or 4 times after nursing. My little man would spend 24 nursing if we let him so waiting for him to stop won't work. Besides weight checks we also look at his mouth for signs of dehydration. My pediatrician and our lactation consultant said no more than 10 minutes per side and listen for sucking. Both dr and LC also told me to only pump for 5 to 10 minutes after nursing: Empty and a little extra stimulation, An encouraging word from our LC was that studies have shown that babies fed any momma's milk are comparable to exclusively mommas milk fed babies. Knowing any amount I can give him is beneficial has made me determined to nurse and pump but be okay giving him formula on the side.
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