I need advice from extended breastfeeders — The Bump
Breastfeeding

I need advice from extended breastfeeders

Hello :)

I am still nursing my 17 month old. 

During the week (I work FT), we just nurse before bed, and sometimes in the evening.  On the weekend, I'd like to stick to our new routine, but I'm ok with an additional couple of times. I don't want to to do much more, because when I do I spend Monday and Tuesday engorged and uncomfortable. The problem is, she wants to nurse like a newborn all day long and the nursing is not like a sweet little newborn, it's with an acrobatic toddler with twelve teeth.  My supply is much lower now, I'm sure and she gets frustrated because she's not "satisfied" after a nursing session.  I've been offering her water/milk sippies and snacks, but she gets like really, seriously upset if I sit down on the couch and won't pick her up to nurse her.  I've tried picking her up and snuggling or sitting down on the floor and playing with her, but she is all about the nursing.

On a maybe related, but I'm not really sure, note, her seperation anxiety has gotten to a really high level, I am not sure if the two are related. 

So...any tips? I'd like to keep nursing at least before bedtime until winter is over, but I'm wondering if weaning her wouldn't be easier on her?

Thanks!
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Re: I need advice from extended breastfeeders

  • I'm right there with you. I stopped working FT when the school year ended and LO was 14 months. Now she's almost 18 months and is really into the nursing again. She's a complete acrobat too, and even though she's nursing a lot more lately I don't think my supply is all that high either. She frequently jumps down and runs off without completely releasing either. I just think it's the age.  I agree I think it is related to separation anxiety and jealousy type issues.  No real advice here...also commiserating like PP.  Personally, I don't think completely weaning is the answer.  I think the frustration with it will lead them to wean themselves more naturally as they realize nursing is a lot of work for not a lot of reward to fill their tummy at this age.


    **DD1 - 7/9/98**

    **DS - 11/9/00**

    **DD2 - 4/30/13**

    mommatotwo2
  • edited October 2014
    So, we did successfully go down to just two sessions a day (morning and evening) - DD is 16m. Here is what we did:

    - we did it pretty gradually: first we night-weaned (had DH take any wakeup after midnight, then 1am, then 2am, etc.) - that took about 2 weeks.
    - we then established nursing as the first thing we do in the morning. Usually this is around 7am, but sometimes earlier.
    - then I limited daytime nursing to only before naps; any other times, I said, "we can do nuh-nuh later, now we will do X, do you need water?" (She loves water)
    - This was right around the time we went from 2 naps to 1, so with the nap transition, we dropped a nursing session.
    - Then I started making sure that lunch always came right before nap (so I knew she wasn't hungry/thirsty), and told her that we could do nursing at bedtime (it helped that she was used to going down for naps with the babysitter)

    If there's ever a day when she's sick, teething, whatever, we do nurse a bit more, but generally that morning-evening schedule seems to work. She does nurse for longer at those sessions now -they're often about 20 minutes.

    Not sure if any part of that novel was helpful?? Happy to share more details about any part of it if you want!

    ETA: I still wear her a lot, so I'm wondering now if maybe that helps with the separation anxiety/need for snuggles that nursing fills?? Hmmm.
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    [Deleted User]mommatotwo2vvvvvfee
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  • mommatotwo2mommatotwo2
    250 Answers 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary
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    edited October 2014
    Thank you gals SO much for taking the time to reply. It really helps to know I'm not alone (hugs to you ladies too!) and I greatly appreciate the advice!

    I feel like such a whimp and whiner, I know we have moms on here still nursing at 2.5 or older and here I am struggling at not even 1.5.

    I really want to still give her the comfort and benefits, but I really can't just sit and nurse her all day, both emotionally and physically.

    The night weaning is a whole other issue. She wakes at night about 50% of the time and will not be comforted by DH. :(

    Thanks again mommas!
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    opheliainwaders[Deleted User][Deleted User]surpriseaddition
  • CLLDLLCLLDLL
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
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    edited October 2014
    My son was a every 1.5-2 hour nurser when we were together up until 17 or 18 months when he FINALLY went down to everything 3-4 hours on evenings/weekends. He did it on his own, but before that DH and I tried everything we could think of starting around 16 months.  I finally quit trying and decided to let him do it on his time, and he eventually did. 

    Now at almost 25 months, he's down to twice a day on weekdays and 3-4 times a day on the weekend.

    So I really have no advice, other than to remember that just like with growth spurts and nursing strikes and all the other fun things from the first year, this too will pass.  :)



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    [Deleted User]mommatotwo2vvvvvfee
  • My LO is 8 months old so i don't have any advice but i just have to say, this comment "he nursing is not like a sweet little newborn, it's with an acrobatic toddler with twelve teeth" made me seriously LOL and I'm at work! ugh ;)

    Rachel (a.k.a. The Analytical Mommy.com and @analyticalmommy on IG)
    I'm just trying to make sense of things :-) 
    [Deleted User]mommatotwo2
  • Awww you gals are the best! @OurBundleOfJoy‌ glad I made you smile! Lol! It'd be even funnier of it weren't true! Oy. 8-}
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    opheliainwaders[Deleted User]
  • i agree that this is a phase that will pass. i have always tended to just let DS nurse when he wanted to during the day, but i haven't had issues with being engorged at work after a nurse-a-thon.

    i would just say, "we'll nurse after X activity," and then offer her something else as a distraction- a snack or a drink. what about holding her and rocking her while she has a cup of warm cow's milk? you could also let her nurse as much as she wants, but drastically limit the length of the session. you could count to 10 or 20 on each side, or sing a song and say, "we'll nurse until the song is done, then we'll do X activity."

    this is a nice article about setting BFing limits with a toddler.
    mommatotwo2
  • vvvvvfee said:

    i agree that this is a phase that will pass. i have always tended to just let DS nurse when he wanted to during the day, but i haven't had issues with being engorged at work after a nurse-a-thon.

    i would just say, "we'll nurse after X activity," and then offer her something else as a distraction- a snack or a drink. what about holding her and rocking her while she has a cup of warm cow's milk? you could also let her nurse as much as she wants, but drastically limit the length of the session. you could count to 10 or 20 on each side, or sing a song and say, "we'll nurse until the song is done, then we'll do X activity."

    this is a nice article about setting BFing limits with a toddler.

    Thanks so much for the great advice and article!
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  • I have sympathy for you! DD is 15 months and loves nursing so much. I am 25 weeks pregnant so I don't think she's getting much but on weekends she will want to nurse a bunch. I usually just do morning wakeup, nap time if needed, before dinner, and before bed. She's got 12 teeth too and knows how to use them. If it gets painful I tell her no more and unlatched her. It doesn't always work, but 50% of time it helps. I think she'll nurse right up til I deliver honestly.
    DH tries to distract her with food or activities too.
    mommatotwo2
  • Wow @crash916 you go girl! I can't imagine doing this at 25 weeks pregnant!
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